dumper ever told an ex they didn't love them anymore...to get the ex to move on?

[secondchance67]

They all mean it. "We're done" means "we're done". Trying to reinterpret what they said or meant will drive you crazy - trust me, I know! The exact words that they used to eject you don't matter. It's the action, the message, and the finality that shows you what they meant. What are you going to do - convince yourself that they didn't really mean it, and sit around hoping that you're right? Or better yet, contact the ex and say "I don't believe you when you say you don't love me anymore", just so you can hear them say it again?

 

this, exactly.

well put...and spot on, I might add.

 

Rejection is rejection.

Its an action, the words are inconsequential to the act....we must go by the actions of our ex's...not their empty words and promises....what they SHOW us, no matter what flowery, trite, or evasive words are used...its the ACTIONS....the no contact, the seemingly ease of getting on with their lives...that is what we must focus in on ...using logic over emotions, to really assess the situation and accept it.

 

One thing is certain, the old cliche' rings o true:

 

Actions speak louder than words

[MissieP]

Freefallin you pretty much hit it right on everything you said. It's the why's could've, should've, would've it will drive you insane ! I know it drove me crazy but instead of focusing on the why's,etc,etc everyone needs to focus on getting yourself better and you cannot change the past what's done is done and yes rejection hurts but you can't keep obsessing or it will drive you insane.

[learning2relax]

As many of us felt shocked by the rejection of the breakup - that follows the questioning, bargaining, etc... we painfully, and hopefully in short order only receive validation of the rejection, along the lines of "Yes, I really mean that I don't want to be in a relationship with you no matter what!" While I believe that one should consider facing their fears (within reason of course), hopefully the fear of rejection is one we hang on to - even if temporarily - to stop the insane cycle of torture. It is just no way to live.

[desertbliss]

thanks for all your advice and insight.

[ewr]

Just have to throw one more "I agree" in for FreeFallin....it sounds like you are asking us this question to give yourself some false hope, that they might be "just saying it", and there might be a little hope left. This is self destructive and you need to be focusing on healing, not on all the "what if's" and slight possible maybe chances.

 

Keep your head up