Destructive thoughts and in desperate need of any kind of advice/thoughts.

[rexonadeo]

This will most likely be a long story, but someone pleasepleaseplease bare with me. I'm having extreme anxiety and I need someone elses point of view on this.

 

A friend of mine from work,I'll call her A brought her "best friend" to a party about 8months ago. A is currently living in an apartment with her boyfriend of 6 years. I knew nothing about her "best friend" prior to this event but I soon learned he was dating some girl, apparently the same girl my best friend was dating. I talked about my best friend (Michael)dating this girl,and mentioned her name because at that moment I didn't know she played multiple guys at a time, and definetly not B. A was the one who later informed me that B was dating this girl. I'm gonna refer to A's "best friend" as B. B and I had some sort of connection, but it was just innocent flirting. That same night we all went out to a club and A&B were acting like they were a couple at times, kissing, hugging and touching eachother. I wasn't that into the guy so I didn't mind, all I kept wondering was "does A's boyfriend know what she's doing with B?". I know for sure I wouldn't accept my boyfriend acting like that with other girls. But then again, I got a feeling it wasn't my business.

 

A couple of months went by, and B kept intouch with me on facebook, I heard from him every week. Just the casual, but still a conversation. I didn't think much of it because I didn't want to interfere with whatever was going on between A&B, since A was/is a friend. Besides I had learned he was still dating the girl from before. This girl is a straight up player, I've held the evidence in my hand so I know for sure what I talk about. I have a bunch of mutual friends with B who work with this player-chick and they were all laughing at B for being completely blind to what she was doing. I didn't want to bring it up with him from out of the blue, and I knew that A, the "so-called" best friend was the one who should tell him since she knew as much as I did. Anyway, one day B started a chat on facebook and it didn't take long before I noticed something was off. He told me that this player-girl was acting weird and that they basically had/were breaking up. I was hesitating to tell him the truth I knew about but in the end I told him. I felt sorry for him, cause his other so-called friend were laughing at him and he was wasting time being down over a girl who was dishonest. He told me he would never tell her that I was the one who told him and he told me he was very grateful for the information. I regretted it the minute I told him, I was the last person to tell him. Why me? Why didn't A tell him if they were best friends? I started to avoid him and didn't really want to meet him.

 

About two weeks after this I ended up at a party at his parents house. He told me that he didn't date this player-chick anymore but I still kept avoiding him at the party. We went out to a nightclub and something happened, he started turning physical, hugged me and tried to kiss me etc. I told him no, and he wanted reasons. I told him I didn't want to get inbetween whatever was happening between him and A. He said there was nothing and that it couldn't be because she has a boyfriend. He kept trying to convince me to stay at his place that night, but I didn't. After that night he kept texting and writing to me on facebook everyday, and he somehow convinced me that the only reason "I couldn't" wasn't a problem, "there was nothing between him and A,they were just friends". I for some reason let myself believe what he said was true and we started dating, we hung out a lot. All of our closest friends met, and everything was good. After two dates, I told him we should tell our other mutual friends we had started seeing eachother, especially A who I work with!! He didn't feel the same way, he thought we should wait a little longer.

 

Two fridays in a row A had been at B's place, just the two of them, until 3-4 in the morning doing god knows what. I didn't want to dig too much into it so I let it be. Besides A has a boyfriend so they couldn't..? could they? During the same time this player-chick started sending me threats, I learned that he had told her it was me who told him although he promised me he wouldn't.

 

He then went on vacation with his parents,and he went from 30 textmessages and facebook interaction to zero! Nada nothing. I thought maybe he just wanted to relax a little while on vacation but I noticed when I hung out with A that they were texting eachother. After about 5 days, I hit him up and we talked. But it was different, it was like we barely even knew eachother, he was so cold. I asked him what was wrong and he called me . He told me we couldn't continue on dating because he has feelings for someone else. I knew who that was, but I didn't want to hear it so I asked him not to tell me but he did anyway. And of course I was right all along, it was A.

 

I felt so cheated. First off I had a chick sending me threats because I was being nice to him once when he was down and everyone was laughing at him. And now he tells me the reason we can't see eachother is the same exact reason I told him I didn't want to start things from the beginning.

The day after I was at work and when A came to work it was like someone stabbed me. It felt so wrong that she didn't know. I honestly thought that telling her would mean she wouldn't be my friend anymore, but I did it anyway,I said everything apart from the fact that he had feelings for her , of course. She ended up being mad at B, which was never my intention. He later called me that night, yelling at me for telling her. Now I felt even worse for them not being friends.

 

We coincidentally all ran into eachother at the same time at the mall, and he had the face of a person dying a painful slow death when he saw me. Why was he having those feelings? Was I wrong in telling her what had happened?

 

I haven't heard anything from him in a couple of weeks, and it hurts. It hurts so bad that he, not only cheated me into believing i was wrong about him and A, but also he doesn't seem to care that I now get threats because of him not keeping his mouth shut. Apparently he now writes to friends of mine, he's well aware that they are close friends of mine, and some of them he has met twice. And he can't even give me a hi and ask me if everything is ok??

 

I get extreme anxiety whenever I met A now. I know none of this is her fault, or maybe in a way it is cause she's leading him on even though she has a boyfriend. I feel like I've failed when I'm around her, I feel like I'm less worthy and that she stole something that I had. Although at the same time I know she can't help how he feels, no one can.

 

Was I wrong in telling A about everything? Did I blow ever being friends with this guy again? What should I do to stop having the feeling of failure whenever A is around?

[pl3asehelp]

This is all really immature high school like drama. If it's bothering you, just don't participate. A doesn't sound like a person worth associating with let alone worth giving yourself anxiety over.

[MikNomis]

Everyone is so bad lol. I really advise you to stay out of it next time, look what happened.

 

I would find new friends, A is a pretty bad influence.

 

Oh and your story was pretty confusing because A, B, your best friend, A's boyfriend, etc. Next time just give them all a fake name or something.