Living with girlfriend, how to break up?

[AFuchs17]

I live with my girlfriend, but I think it's time we part ways. I can't stay in this relationship any longer for a number of reasons. How do I go about breaking up with her when we are both on a tight budget and we live together? How long do I give it for us each to find a new place? Should I find a new place before I do this? Help!

[pl3asehelp]

I would make sure one of you has a new place to go to immediately before doing this. Otherwise, you're really setting yourself up for a mess being broken up and living in the same place.

[LDRohnos]

I would make sure one of you has a new place to go to immediately before doing this. Otherwise, you're really setting yourself up for a mess being broken up and living in the same place.

 

Agree totally. Find a new place to move to or make concrete arrangements to that affect before breaking up with her. You don't want to get stuck in a situation where you're forced to live with her under those circumstances.

[abitbroken]

It depends on the circumstances. She doesn't deserve to be homeless because you want to break up. Have you tried working on things? If it is for sure over, find a friend that you can crash with for a few weeks or a month, but pay your rent and share of expenses for another whole month at your shared apartment in good faith to give you both time to either move out or find a roommate to move in with. You might end up finding a place sooner, or by then it will be clear who is staying in the apartment with a new roomie and who is leaving. Just up and leaving is not cool.

[AFuchs17]

yeah I understand that totally. my only issue is that she is the type to sit on her hands as long as possible and pretend the problem doesnt exist. She will stay as long as possible before deciding anything, so I will definitely have to move out and give it a definite time frame that I will continue to pay rent and bills. This isn't going to be fun...she's a great girl and such a sweet person, it just isn't right anymore and I don't see us getting married as I once thought was possible...very very painful stuff coming

[abitbroken]

WHat do you mean she "isn't right anymore?" Did you address issues you had between eachother? If she pretends problems don't exist, do you think she is ignoring them or plugging her ears, or do you think that her way of dealing with problems is just carrying forward? My ex didn't think I dealt with problems because he dealt with them differently. If I didn't have a big cry fest about something, he thought I didn't care, when really i was just trying to figure things out inside instead. Will she be blindsided by this talk or have you talked before about not being compatible?

 

I would hope that you don't underestimate her and do give her a reasonable amount of time and make sure after you move out that you don't call her pet names or give her hope that you are just going to come back and live with her.

[BlueEagle]

Is her name on the lease of the apartment? Of if it's a house, whose house is it? I would try to ensure that you have a contingency plan to use so that you or her don't have anywhere to go. May I ask how long you were together before you decided to move in together? Was it just "too much, too soon?"

[The_Seeker]

I agree.

 

I remembered how my first ex underestimated me.

 

Ha ha, boy did it piss me off.