saw my ex last night!!! please give me advice!!

[JA0371]

Awww...you'll be ok...this guy sounds like an emotional vampire. Best to assume it's over for good and start working on yourself (hugs)

[Voodoodoll]

he's a ''unt'' with a CAPITAL C... kick this wee maggot to the side,, oh and don't forget to squish and twist him into the ground and walk off with an over dramatic evil laugh MWHAAAA .

[toby17]

I am convinced the people who leave a relationship like this have many issues. My ex and I had incredible chemistry and got along great. The romance was through the roof... It is frustrating, especially when you fall in love with them and are taken in by all their actions and words.

 

I spent a long time trying to understand my ex, trying to understand why she did it. But I had to keep reminding myself that she considered leaving early on for a dumb reason that had nothing to with me and them she kept sabotaging the relationship.

 

The problem with being rejected is that it makes you feel like something must have been wrong with you because after all you're the one who's been dismissed - they presumably feel nothing after losing you which is a huge knock to your self esteem that your brain keeps trying to process.

 

But most of us can't just say "screw her" - she's the one whose crazy - because we're desperate for them to come back because

- we want what we lost; but

- also if they came back it confirms that nothing's wrong with us.

 

But the thing I've come to realize is a lot of dumpers are screwed up, particularly the one's who drop crumbs. And dumpees accept too much of the blame.

 

Even if they don't come back it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. They're still messed up.

[FreeFallFeelin]

OP, your ex sounds like a typical ego maniac. He just wants you to want him. He doesn't neccessarily care about you, but he still wants you to want him. It's all about him and his ego. "Give me a kiss" means, "show me you want me ...make me feel good about me". But it's your fault if you allowed him to pull you back in and "kiss" you once again ...especially if he's done this type of thing before. Realize who this guy really is and I guarentee you will one day look back on this guy and think "what an ***hole".

[sandrawg]

Yep! I can relate. Great chemistry, connection, intellectual connection, conversation, romance, sex...decides to be bf/gf w/NO pressure from me...introduces me to his family, starts to meet MY family...then he blindsides me with "the feelings aren't there".

 

I swear, we should all start a club of people who've been dumped by emotionally immature LOSERS.

 

I am convinced the people who leave a relationship like this have many issues. My ex and I had incredible chemistry and got along great. The romance was through the roof and we had many shared values. Then one day, out of the blue and over the phone, he says his feelings had changed and he wanted to break up. This says more about him than it does me, just as your situation does. I think it is too bad there are people out there with all this emotional baggage who for some reason are not capable of making a relationship work. It is frustrating, especially when you fall in love with them and are taken in by all their actions and words.