loulou37 Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I found this thread on loveShack...i'm only half way through so i'm not sure how it all ends!! I think the guy that started the thread has a very positive outlook on life...Read it, i hope you enjoy it ;-) it just goes to show that you gotta take some risks in this life... link removed loulou x Link to comment
loulou37 Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 It's not loading it takes a bit loulou x Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 If you read that whole thread you will laugh hard. I'm familiar with it since I've posted in it and go to LS too. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 If you read that whole thread you will laugh hard. I'm familiar with it since I've posted in it and go to LS too. Phew!! i just finished..that was hard going!! i did see your input ego...very interesting i must say, i do like reading your more in depth stuff Well done to everyone who made it out the other end. loulou x Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Phew!! i just finished..that was hard going!! i did see your input ego...very interesting i must say, i do like reading your more in depth stuff Well done to everyone who made it out the other end. loulou x Thank you, what appeals to you the most? Link to comment
bdbmwer Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 wow....that thread is a novel but came at a perfect time for me as contrary to advice I too just decided im ready to meet my ex. our brief convo to set it up went amazing with her speaking more,volunteering info I didnt ask for, repeatedly using exclamation marks emoticons everywhere and lots of "lols" and "hahas" without me reciprocating. she even sent me a good night text. Our meeting is set for midday tomorrow for coffee but I wish I could think of a better more private quiet place that was equally comfortable emotionally. I cant wait to return home and compare mine and wilsons endings when I finish that epic thread. Good find LouLou! Link to comment
deeplongbreath Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Love is not black and white. Its not. Aaahh, true! Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Anyone wanna give me the cole's notes? Won't have time to read a thread like that for a while Link to comment
loulou37 Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 Thank you, what appeals to you the most? I've always thought you were quite "NC" and that's it...i actually see another side of you on LoveShack, a side that i like You actually do see things from all sides but you have chosen NC in your circumstances... I love how you stay very neutral between Caliguy and Wilsonx, to tell the truth you are the only one out of all of them that talked sense to me in all the craziness. loulou x Edit: oh! and ego you definitely have a way with words...you seem like a very inteligent, well educated guy. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 wow....that thread is a novel but came at a perfect time for me as contrary to advice I too just decided im ready to meet my ex. our brief convo to set it up went amazing with her speaking more,volunteering info I didnt ask for, repeatedly using exclamation marks emoticons everywhere and lots of "lols" and "hahas" without me reciprocating. she even sent me a good night text. Our meeting is set for midday tomorrow for coffee but I wish I could think of a better more private quiet place that was equally comfortable emotionally. I cant wait to return home and compare mine and wilsons endings when I finish that epic thread. Good find LouLou! A nice happy story good luck hun, hope all goes well!! loulou x Link to comment
Chandra Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I've always thought you were quite "NC" and that's it...i actually see another side of you on LoveShack, a side that i like You actually do see things from all sides but you have chosen NC in your circumstances... I love how you stay very neutral between Caliguy and Wilsonx, to tell the truth you are the only one out of all of them that talked sense to me. all break ups are different.. loulou x Edit: oh! and ego you definitely have a way with words...you seem like a very inteligent, well educated guy. I think NC is a greatly misunderstood here. We use NC is to avoid saying stupid things, looking needy, keeping our dignity, and giving ourselves and exes the space we need. When we are emotionally raw, it helps us heal. Sometimes reaching out though can help us take back control... it can help is get closure and let us get out lingering feelings. I used NC religiously in my previous breakup and i just kept building up more and more bitterness everyday my ex wouldn't contact me. What I should have done is just reached out to her and had a real honest conversation about what happened. I think that would have shown she had still cared and I would have moved on easier. NC gets preached like a dogma around here, but it's just a tool that one needs to use with great precision, much like anything else in life. P.S. I like your profile picture LouLou! Link to comment
Chandra Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Okay one more thought. I think the reason NC is so misunderstood is pretty simple. The obviously preaching here is, GO NC and heal yourself. People seem to believe that by simple not contacting your ex you will magically heal with the time and distance. But healing is MUCH more complicated that simply cutting off all contact. It is a process that has to come from deep within you that wants to change its behavior. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 NC definitely is needed after a break up, no way around it..everyday i desperately fought the urges to contact my ex...jees!! it was the hardest thing i ever had to do, going from us texting everyday to nothing, he was my addiction and in the 6 weeks we had no contact i weaned myself off that drug... I text him and broke my NC as it couldn't have gone on indefinately like that (well not for me) we have been talking once a week since then, sometimes on the phone, sometimes by text..but now it feels so different, i'm in control of my actions, i can think straight, i don't have to worry about messing things up, i can just be me and relax...now i have no fear of him, i can contact him whenever i want... As has been said on this forum soo many times...NC does have an end to it, that end comes when you have your control back..the control of your emotions. I think it's important (if you are thinking on trying to reconcile) to start to comunicate again. loulou x Link to comment
loulou37 Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 P.S. I like your profile picture LouLou! I like your pic too chandra ;-) loulou x Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 BDM: I hope it goes well for you. It may be the right course of action for you despite the fact that I disagree. I am still not really clear on what you want so goodluck. Loulu: That thread devolved into chaos at the end and there is another thread in that same section named after me that is now worse. I disagree with Wilson's approach and taking responsibility for other people's feelings. I don't think it is a good idea to chase egocentric exes and I think it is a recipe for more hurt that is not necessary for perspective. I chose NC many times and have stuck to it after my last little back and forth with my Ex that was like talking to a brick wall that couldn't admit there was mortar in between bricks... I am pretty hardcore about NC but I guess my attitude towards understanding isn't so much a "close-minded" approach but I don't ever want to be disrespected, taken for granted or fed crumbs. So, that is where that comes from. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 I know what you mean by chaos!! at first i did admire wilsonx, he seemed to know what he wanted and he was going for it...but then he was down, then up!! and all over the place..that's when it fell apart for me :s Also the way he was rude and disrespectful to the other posters views and advice...in the end it was total disaster to a thread that started off quite good, i enjoyed reading the different perspectives of the posters and the different things they'd gone through...then...it was just a total slagging off match!! well if nothing else, it was a good read lol...i read the other thread that was for you...it seemed like a continuation of the war that went on in the other thread!! i see that wilsonx popped in to give his 2 pennies worth and stick up for smokey...it was just all silly imature stuff. By the way..i agree with your opinion on gigs ;-) you were asked for your opinion and then ripped apart for it!! Oh well some people really do lead boring lives.. loulou x Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I don't think I was ripped apart. They had contrived approaches. Caliguy has some valid points, so does Gibson and I was trying to reach a consensus rather than win some sort of subjective debate. I don't think everybody was trying to do that. The "thread nazi" approach really just caused me to facepalm everytime I saw it. I had a few joke posts about it that were deleted. Link to comment
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