Commitment Phob Self-Help

[Hope2011]

I am posting because I am wondering what material such as books there are out there to help deal with commitment phob.

 

My last relationship ended because of my fear of commitment. I was afraid which resulted me in being mean and a jerk.

 

I want to break this fear because it has caused me much trouble in my life and I do not know how to come about it. I enter a relationship and the fear comes back and I do not become myself.

[midnightdeirdre]

Before you buy any books, I think you should ask yourself: "Why am I afraid of commitment?"

[Hope2011]

Before you buy any books, I think you should ask yourself: "Why am I afraid of commitment?"

 

I am afraid because I have lost many people in my life I have loved. The fear losing someone again, causes me to change.

[midnightdeirdre]

I am afraid because I have lost many people in my life I have loved. The fear losing someone again, causes me to change.

 

Be more specific. Are you referring to being dumped many times? Or family members that left you/passed away?

[Hope2011]

Be more specific. Are you referring to being dumped many times? Or family members that left you/passed away?

 

I am referring to losing family members at a very age. Relatives such as brothers and sisters. I had a brother die when I was young, brother kicked out of the house, and sisters by court order not to talk to us till I was older.

[midnightdeirdre]

I am referring to losing family members at a very age. Relatives such as brothers and sisters. I had a brother die when I was young, brother kicked out of the house, and sisters by court order not to talk to us till I was older.

 

That is heartbreaking; I'm sorry you had to endure that. No wonder you're scared of being abandoned. But what happened wasn't your fault.

 

I think you're best bet is to change your way of thinking; i.e., start doing positive affirmations. (When you feel the fear of commitment, take a deep breath, and calmly repeat: "All is well. I am safe in all my relationships. I can handle anything that comes my way.") Self-help guru Louise Hay is a founder for positive affirmations, and it has worked for many people. Her wbsite is link removed. I also think you should start seeing a therapist who can offer more advice.

[Hope2011]

Thank you for that!!

 

I just got a job and when I am not working, I am planning on seeing a therapist.

This commitment phob has ruined who I am and has broken hearts. This break up was a blessing because I was dumped, not the one doing the dumping.

[honeybadger]

I don't have anything to add other than to congratulate you on finding the work of the late, great Albert Ellis. Cognitive behavior therapy works. Hopefully, you'll find a therapist with this specialty.

 

Hang in there. Acknowledging an issue is the first step in correcting it.

[Hope2011]

I don't have anything to add other than to congratulate you on finding the work of the late, great Albert Ellis. Cognitive behavior therapy works. Hopefully, you'll find a therapist with this specialty.

 

Hang in there. Acknowledging an issue is the first step in correcting it.

 

Thank you!! I am trying to get past this issue and believe I can get through this.

Also, Albert Ellis work is very interesting and what I've read, it works.