I must be insane. Now I want him to come back. This is just kind of a rant.

[blueidealist24]

I finally cut ties with the guy from high school who has being trying to get me into bed for 9 years, used me for the pic of my boobs, wanted me to be naked on cam, etc., after our one maybe-date after which he wouldn't talk to me (SEE PREVIOUS THREADS).

 

I felt he was trying to keep me around as a backup option to mess with in case something didn't work out with someone in his own area (four hours away), so I unfriended him on all my sites and picked a fight with him so he wouldn't try to come back under any circumstances. I sent a really, really nasty email that he totally deserved, but I'm usually not like that so I feel bad.

 

Anyway, I'm such a weakling that I feel like emailing him again and apologizing. He often comes back even after we fight, so I'm still sitting here wondering when he's going to turn up again, and how I might be able to get his attention on other sites he might use, like maybe twitter, that I never talked to him on and therefore there was no blocking. I'M SO DUMB BECAUSE HE TREATS ME SO BADLY. I feel like I'm in love with him and I only got pissed off because he didn't feel the same way and just wants to use me to get his jollies.

 

Other nice guys are interested in me on dating sites, but for some reason I just sit here missing him even after hanging out with a friend today. I don't get it, I hate him but I miss the constant attention he used to give me.. I just wish I could sign into msn and see his name there and not be blocked.. BLAH. I know the NC is in my best interests, but it SUCKS.

[Hollyj]

It sounds like you feed off the drama and mistreatment.

 

May I ask what your upbringing was like? Have you spoken to a professional about being in abusive, unhealthy relationships. I would address why you want to treat yourself this way, and what attracts you to this type of individual.

 

It's time to show yourself love and respect. Block this LOSER permanently!!!

[blueidealist24]

It sounds like you feed off the drama and mistreatment.

 

May I ask what your upbringing was like? Have you spoken to a professional about being in abusive, unhealthy relationships. I would address why you want to treat yourself this way, and what attracts you to this type of individual.

 

It's time to show yourself love and respect. Block this LOSER permanently!!!

 

My father was emotionally abusive.. I know that this might lead me to have issues like this..