Ex and I in Confusing Relationship

[kekep]

My ex and I broke up mid July, and got together once toward the end of summer to go see a movie. He expressed some doubt about the breakup, saying he was confused and still loved me, but he didn't think we could work things out (I cheated on him) because there was no trust. We ended up sleeping together. We go to the same college, and now we are back at school and live literally 20 yards from each other in different apartment buildings. I have 2 classes with him. When we initially got back to school, he expressed some interest in getting back together but taking things slowly. I took this and ran with it, going to his apartment often, and trying to hang out in my spare time as much as possible. Initially everything seemed fine, and he would call me and want to hang out too. We also slept together a few times. Then suddenly, he started to act coldly toward me, and when I talked to him about this, he said that right now he just wanted to be friends and wasn't ready to be committed to me. He said he didn't want to lead me on. I was upset about this, and we tried to be friends for awhile (about a week and a half) but eventually I told him that it wasn't possible for me to do this when I still had such strong feelings for him. I told him not to contact me and that I wouldn't come hang out with him anymore.

 

One day later, he calls me saying he wanted to tell me about how Tostitos made white cheese dip now and that he just thought I would want to know because he knows how much I like that stuff. I was like, "Ok, bye!" Then the next day, he calls me completely freaking out and saying how he hated this, and he was really bummed out because I didn't want to talk to him. I told him I couldn't do anything about it because we were in different places and I still loved him and wanted to be with him. I told him I would call when I was ready. Later that night, I called him (probably too soon!) and told him I wanted to hang out. He came over to my room and we talked about everything, and he agreed to give me time if I needed it but said he would be really sad if we couldn't hang out. I told him I wanted to try and be friends. This was Tuesday, and up until last night everything was cool and fun and we were just being friendly (no sex, but he slept over on Thursday night). But last night, I got drunk and went over to his apartment and slept in his bed before he even got home from being out! He seemed okay with it, and we talked for awhile about stuff, and this morning we ended up having sex even though he said it was inappropriate.

 

Sorry this is so long, but my question is: Am I just being a fool for having hope in us? Am I taking the right steps to get him back, or should I make myself unavailable to him? It just seems like he is just beyond my grasp and maybe by pulling him to me, I am just pushing him away. This relationship has taken its toll on me, but I love him so much that I just want to do the right thing. But I'm also worried that I'll get crazy jealous if he hooks up with someone else. By the way, he is always trying to find out if I'm hooking up with other people, and he gets jealous as well. But he said he knows it would be his fault if I did since it was his decision to break up. Anyway, any advice would be appreciated!!!!

[daredevil]

If you eant him back i think you dshould initiate the nc.. i think he is the kind of guy which cant live without you.. but on the other hand i also think that giving him sex is a bad idea.. why do this when u know he really don't know if he wants u bad... ur hurting yourself... u should initate nc in order to get hold of your feelings.. or you should confront him like you have done and make the space and say.. he has too chose whether or not u want him back.. because u cant have him as friends because its hurting you too much... get the point?... im trying to say u should stop this pain now.. and f he wants you 100% surely.. he can give u and call until then... do the nc but before that tell him he has to choose...