CountryHGirl Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Hey everyone, i was hoping to get some insight on this situation. My best girlfriend and i were talking last night about sex. She is 26 and married, and has been for about 2 years. She dropped the bomb on me that she doesnt find her hubby sexually attractive anymore. When i inquired as to why, she said she didnt know. She thinks hes cute, hes a great guy, but for some reason she doesnt feel he 'does it for her' anymore. It got me thinking as to why this happens. I know alot of people who this has happened to, young and old. My friend and her husband used to bump like rabbits constantly. To the point where we all would be so annoyed by it, because it happened everywhere....at our houses, at their parents houses, etc. It was off the charts. And now they barely have sex at all! Why do you think this happens? Im sort of afraid now that this will happen to myself and my bf. We plan on spending the rest of our lives together, but what if that attraction and hunger for sex disapears?! Is this normal? Link to comment
sidehop Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Could be anything from health issues, lack of intimacy, stress, and other personal reasons I'm sure. With the differences in needs for the most between man and a woman when it comes to sex, it'd be hard to say how/why the sex life of a couple can dwindle. It also doesn't mean it's going to happen to you either but like any relationship sex life could suffer when other areas of the relationship isn't being taken care of either. Link to comment
OrangeMoon Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Mindset..pure mindset. She can't deal with the 'fallen out of love' feeling that comes in the attachment phase and possibly projects it onto her sexlife... Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Mindset..pure mindset. She can't deal with the 'fallen out of love' feeling that comes in the attachment phase and possibly projects it onto her sexlife... I agree with OrangeMoon. I think there are phases in each relationship and if they can go through it, their relationship will evolve to another phase. It's my humble opinion. But I am curious about other replies. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Probably wasn't that "in love" with him to begin with. Having said that, normally, frequency does decrease as time goes on. If you are with someone for decades it's tough to keep it fresh. I mean there are only so many ways you can dress it up. But, it is possible. My ex and I were together for 14 years and sex was the one thing that was pretty much always great. It took some work, we always tried different stuff, dressed up, went to hotels, did candlelight dinners, nooners, outside, trips away. You name it. We were hot for each other till the day it ended. I'm not saying we were doing it three or four times a day like when we first started dating, but the frequency was still pretty good even at the end. Like everything else in life, you have to work at it. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 If nothing changed physically, then the process of elimination says its behavior. He fails to stimulate attraction with his behavior. Examples of this is, failing to make her feel feminine (if thats what she likes); this can be further broken down to the guy not acting masculine; needy, clingy, insecure, also bad traits can be at fault; jealousy (a sign of insecurity), controlling, unambitious, uninteresting, weak, etc. This is one of the main reasons why people break up. The younger me would say getting a girl interested and attracted is easy, and its just as easy as getting her in bed, but its really hard to keep that going for years on end. Link to comment
Raaawr Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 This is one of the main reasons why people break up. The younger me would say getting a girl interested and attracted is easy, and its just as easy as getting her in bed, but its really hard to keep that going for years on end. 100% agree. Getting the first few dates is easy. Getting it into the bedroom for the first time is easy (assuming that's not your goal then it can be trickier) but once that is done and the first times are becoming 100th time thing get tricky. Link to comment
Catarro Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 If nothing changed physically, then the process of elimination says its behavior. He fails to stimulate attraction with his behavior. Examples of this is, failing to make her feel feminine (if thats what she likes); this can be further broken down to the guy not acting masculine; needy, clingy, insecure, also bad traits can be at fault; jealousy (a sign of insecurity), controlling, unambitious, uninteresting, weak, etc. This is one of the main reasons why people break up. The younger me would say getting a girl interested and attracted is easy, and its just as easy as getting her in bed, but its really hard to keep that going for years on end. I completely agree with the above. It might not be what is happening in this particular case, but when the outer shell of the seductive manly man comes out after some time, and the woman finds out that her lover is in reality less masculine so to speak, things can turn out this way. Link to comment
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