bw92116 Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 I've been reading this forum for several years and it's helped me a lot. My question is when you are breaking up with someone, or in a "no contact" period for any reason, what do you do when you feel that strong feeling of longing to be with them? You know you can't be with them, for whatever reason, but it's almost like an aching to be with them, and specifically them. What can you do, if anything, to prevent that feeling from arising, and if it does, what can you do to relieve it? Thanks! Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 I'd go running for as long as the feeling persists or watch some of your favorite comedy to cheer up. Laughing always makes it go away Link to comment
bw92116 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Share Posted December 10, 2011 OK thanks, I don't run but I walk a lot. I'll try your suggestions. Link to comment
OrangeMoon Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Write it out.. Reading watching funny clips on youtube Listening to music that makes you feel good Its tough going through that longing phase..but it disappears at some point. Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Keep the faith in believing that you are more important to yourself than you are to them. When you get than longing feeling, come to this site and post your feelings. Exercising is a great way to distract yourself. Link to comment
ryan2600 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Hang out with friends or family if possible. Link to comment
bw92116 Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 OK, thanks everyone. Link to comment
Dezireey Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Acceptance. Accept that you feel this way, accept that it is normal and that the urge to contact them is normal but you must not contact them. This sometimes can be consuming and it usually comes on at alone times or trigger points/bad days. As long as you make yourself strong and do not succumb to it, you will move forward. Also accept that in time, this feeling will get weaker and weaker until eventually you won't feel like this any more. Link to comment
The walkingman Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 A lot of the above are good, something I started doing recently is taking a book down to starbucks (accross the road from me) grabbing a coffee and reading there for a while. Link to comment
bw92116 Posted December 12, 2011 Author Share Posted December 12, 2011 OK thanks. I find listening to music distracts me, watching silly videos, hanging out with other friends - all of these can be helpful. Link to comment
Lansing Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 For me the gym is one of the few times I don't think about her much at all... Also when out with friends or watching movies (in particular at movie theatres). I want to start reading books again as I hear that is a good way since it is hard to focus on the two things at once. I remember during the last breakup that effected me many years ago I read a biography that had the double effect of making me live someone else's life for an hour a day while I read it I think I might read the Steve Jobs biography next. Link to comment
xcrunner Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Don't be afraid to spend time alone. Constantly latching onto friends after a breakup can produce a false sense of moving on; in a sense you're kicking the can down the road through another form of attachment. Face your feelings, process them, and realize why you're feeling that way. Usually it's not even about your ex. I prefer the gym, running, reading intensely, playing guitar or drums, focusing on work, listening to my favorite music, watching my favorite movies.... Link to comment
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