Anything I Can Do?

[King Crimson]

I tried this once before, months ago.. But I'd like to try this again.

 

I became incredible friends with this girl last year in my first year of university, while she was in third year. Well, after months of hangouts and such we became a couple in May and started full out dating and the other involved things. Well... I started to falter during the summer; partying a ton more (coupled with drunk dials to her, like twice a week), and becoming a bit clingy during her months of summer school (I was normally a pretty cool, and logical fella I'd say)

 

Well, this culminated when an awkward situation arose during a party, a bro took the phone and passed it around, with people saying generally just saying hey to her, but he himself was awfully rude. Well, two days after I got to meet up with her (the immediate day before she went to a festival with some friends, I was invited but I turned her down to see other friends I'd already plans with). Well, she interrogated me about the thing and I failed horribly in an explanation, kind of shrugging it off while being a bit more worried about an other angry friend. The day after she dumps me on the phone. She had previously expressed dislike for the way I was acting (constant partying), yet it fell on my deaf ears. It had obviously been building up for a time, but we had so many plans that we had even talked about but a few days before....

 

Anyway, that was in July... I've only seen her once since then. In early September I got to email her and confess my thoughts and such, but it wasn't enough. She eventually wanted to meet for coffee, but things kinda escalated through text into a bit of an argument regarding how I've been trying so hard since to change (stopped drinking, stopped partying). She says we couldn't be together due to how irresponsible I was.

 

Anyway... I only saw her once again after bumping into her in the hall.. Only once. I've gone NC for long periods of time (a month at most, generally weeks) without texting her. I'm starting to miss her intensely. I feel horrible for not seeing her for months, when she was my best friend before. I've broken NC repeatedly for a while, texting her once every day or two over the course of a week to see how she was. Months ago she'd respond, but now she isn't (though, it's probably because of how hardcore her exam studyan is).

 

Any idea what to do? This is a noticeable step back in my moving on, but It's just so unbearable to have gone the whole semester with seeing her JUST once... And this'll be my last year with her. Despite her being 22, I was her first BF, and she was my first GF. Every day I get new insight into myself on what I did befoire, while trying to become better physically, habitually and reflection wise.

 

Do you think it's possible for us to renter each other's lives? She has an exam in the same subject as I next week, do you think I could try get to meet her to study? I miss her more than ever... I just feel as though if I could see her in person or talk to her could improve the situation.

 

This has killed me for months... And I'm afraid I could lose her forever once the year ends

[Snowy]

From my experience, the first break up hurts the most, so it's totally normal to feel like crap.

 

Anyway, I don't think you should keep clinging onto her. She has made it clear that she doesn't want to be with you. You should respect that.

 

Just leave her and move on. In retrospect, you would see how stupid it was if you waste all your time trying and trying.

 

You're very young, so go and have some more experience. Study hard, party hard, and smash some chicks.

 

So basically, don't talk to her anymore and let time heal the pain you are feeling now. I promise you will feel MUCH better once you've put her behind you.