jbug Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 i go to therapy 3 times a week go to gym 4 times a week run 2 nights a week im so ashamed of myself. i just want to get to a place where i feel good about me. my ex was really amazing. smart, sweet, caring, beautiful. i messed up and cant get it out of my head. i dreading the fact that she will she me in 2 weeks. Link to comment
LastMan Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 i go to therapy 3 times a week go to gym 4 times a week run 2 nights a week im so ashamed of myself. i just want to get to a place where i feel good about me. my ex was really amazing. smart, sweet, caring, beautiful. i messed up and cant get it out of my head. i dreading the fact that she will she me in 2 weeks. What were the circumstances of the break up? And why do you have to see her in 2 weeks? Link to comment
jbug Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 i fell into a depression and she lost attraction due to many things. i return to work in 2 weeks and she lives in the building where i work. Link to comment
Angler Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 i go to therapy 3 times a week go to gym 4 times a week run 2 nights a week If you keep up that schedule you'll start feeling better soon, but don't discount the progress that is happening while in you're in pain - that's important too. my ex was really amazing. smart, sweet, caring, beautiful. i messed up and cant get it out of my head. I'm sure she was, and so was mine, but there are lots of girls that fit that bill - I refuse to believe we had the only two! As for messing it up, well, learn from it best you can. Use this pain as motivation to learn and grow. Mistakes are part of life - just try not to make the same ones twice. i dreading the fact that she will she me in 2 weeks. If you're not ready to see her, then take steps to avoid seeing her. Link to comment
LastMan Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 When you see her, be polite but short and indifferent. Don't go out of your way to talk to her. Don't steal glances at her. Don't ask about her. Keep working on yourself and realize that you have no control over the situation. Coming to terms with this loss of control is tough, but it will give you the strength to finally let go. Whatever you do, do not bring up the relationship, do not discuss "feelings" with her, and do not ask her to "get coffee" or anything of that matter. Link to comment
Liraele Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Do you get any down time to process things? =/ Link to comment
jbug Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 lastman, she had said she wanted to get lunch after holidays. i remember someone said to not jump at that first offer and to set a different date. she most likely is just saying that out of pitty. Link to comment
jbug Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 down time is very hard and all i can do is think about her. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 You ARE getting better. Physically you are working out and becoming more fit and less stressed. Emotionally, you are working on yourself and going to therapy. This IS progress!!! Your feelings for her won't disappear overnight, but you are improving yourself and you should be proud of that!!!!!!!! Link to comment
Angler Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 down time is very hard and all i can do is think about her. I hear ya bud. The worst "thinking" times for me are in the hours before bed, and during the night if I happen to wake up. I've found that going to the gym (a lot!) helps in that it makes me sleep more. If you can identify your worst times & triggers, take steps to avoid & alleviate. And, I know man, it's hard. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 The reason you aren't feeling much better is right there in your signature. You broke up October 13th. You've been single a month and a half. No one, unless they really never cared for their ex to begin with, feels really great about losing the significant other after 1.5 months. Healing is a marathon, not a sprint. It may well take you about a year to feel better and another year to feel totally over it. Thats what a lot of studies have found. That was my experience after breakup and my friends as well. Hang in and keep on doing what you are doing. And don't meet with the ex as it will just put you back at square one at this stage. Link to comment
LastMan Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Make sure you cancel that lunch date. Just tell her you made other plans. Link to comment
jbug Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 i dont even she will bring it up and believe me i wont either. i feel dumb because i want her to reach out. keep in mind i wronged her. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 A break up isnt easy. It stings less with experience, but it still kills you. A lot of people here are hurting, and it will come in cycles. I would get all sad when i have a set-back in life, or when something really good happens to me, and i realize i dont have her to hear me out. Dont think feeling sad is wrong. Just go through the process, time will heal. Man, i was stupid enough to join the military after a break up years ago- so i took it hard, plus i had some many family issues that i was a wreck. Start reading books on working out. You should be eating 1gram of protein per lb you weight. All that stuff is interesting, it helps with depression, and it makes you feel good about yourself. If you have a facebook, private message me it. I have a few people on here on facebook, and sometimes we talk about stuff. Link to comment
LastMan Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 i dont even she will bring it up and believe me i wont either. i feel dumb because i want her to reach out. keep in mind i wronged her. You need to break free from this weak mindset of wanting her to "reach out". Tell yourself that she will never ever talk to you again. Even though she probably will at some point, you need to accept that it isn't going to happen. Link to comment
Angler Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 i feel dumb because i want her to reach out. This forum is filled to the brim with people wanting the same thing. We can't all be dumb....I don't think Link to comment
jbug Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 about 2 weeks before the break i took the ex girl to a place brooklyn where you pick out ceramic, paint it, and pay. they ask that you come back a week later to pick it up. i just called the place and they told me she went to pick it up already. thats weird to me. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Was she just supposed to leave it there? Don't read anything into it, except she didn't want to have wasted her time/talent! Link to comment
jbug Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 its just hard to think, im here throwing out all that reminds me of her cause im im so much pain meanwhile she goes and picks up something we did together. Link to comment
Scuza Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 It gets easier with each day. But if I'm ever feeling down about it, it helps me to just browse the forums here and know that I'm not the only one who's dealing with this, nor am I the first who's dealt with it. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 its just hard to think, im here throwing out all that reminds me of her cause im im so much pain meanwhile she goes and picks up something we did together. You really need to adjust your mindset. You are attributing your way of looking at things to her --- as I said in my post, she probably picked it up......because she spent time/talent making it. Has nothing really to do w/ "trying to remember" the relationship. You need to focus on something else....anything else. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 its just hard to think, im here throwing out all that reminds me of her cause im im so much pain meanwhile she goes and picks up something we did together. Thats a bad road to go to, bro. Those memories do nothing but hurt, that is the only purpose they serve right now. Start killing those memories before they form. Get busy with your time. Check out link removed live channels, that helped me relax during my break up. Link to comment
katmarie Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Minimize the downtime. Go out with friends. Meet new people. Take a class or join a club or sports team. If you're anything like me, when you're by yourself, you overanalyze and let your feelings carry you places. From what you have described, a big reason for the breakup was that you fell into this depression and you were basically relying on her to make you happy. It was her job to take you from zero to 100, and gosh, that's a big thing to put on somebody's shoulders. So I think you've got to use this time to figure out what makes you happy -- stay busy with work, cleaning, errands, try new things, take up new hobbies, go places. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.