Ex-Boyfriend still in my Fiancee's life

[thinking heart]

Hey There,

 

I'm hoping to get advice on what to do in what feels like a tricky situation.

I'm marrying the love of my life in two weeks, and over the course of this wedding planning time she has been very stressed due to family, work, and planning the wedding itself. Seperately I have often felt that her ex-boyfriend, whom she was with up until she met me, and whom she had a horrible relationship with, has been on her mind throughout our time together. He obviously has been missing her and he used to text a bunch until she asked him to stop. But even though she has assured me that all her problems with him are resolved and that she is over him, it seems as though she truly wants to answer calls from him every once in a while or text with him.

 

I'm fine with her being in contact in with him, but I am not fine with her lying to me about being in contact with him, and she has done that twice. I confess that I have not been trusting with her lately, because she has been seeming distant, and I checked her text messages this morning, and saw that she texted him asking to talk about some unresolved issues she has. This really hurt me, because I asked her recently if she had unresolved issues with this guy and she said no and that i was being ridiculous.

 

My question is, am i being unfair? should I understand that she would lie to me about this stuff, and should I just back-off? Or should I confront her about this stuff, and see if there are any problems she needs to talk to me about? I don.t know how to support her through these problems with her ex, and I don't like feeling hurt about being lied too. Am I being selfish?

 

Thanks for reading this long one, and please give some advice if you have any to ffer.

[donpeel83]

From experience.....i see this as a massive red flag. I dont want to fan the flames of insecurity but why lie about things to do with him?? Even if it was an innocent lie to protect you I would personally, in her shoes, have come clean and said "Look, "B" wants to meet up, I was thinking of seeing him to talk about some S**t that still bothers me. Are you cool with that?" Whilst you would probably turn around and say no, at the same time its the honest thing to do, and I think thats the main issue here. Its not so much shes talking to her ex, its the lying about it!!

 

To answer your question, no your not being selfish. At the end of the day she is your fiance. This means marriage and life time commitment is on the cards. If she dosen't want that then she needs to come clean and tell you. I think you need to approach her on the subject. If it is a case of her cheating, or getting cold feet etc, then she needs to let you know and not take you for a mug. Just my thoughts.

[agent1607307371]

Mod Note: Thread Closed. Duplicate