Grace696 Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 Hi all, My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago, for the second time, after a reconciliation attempt that lasted 7 months. We've been together for 6.5 years, minus the 5 months we were broken up earlier this year. I posted on ENA right after he broke up with me out of the blue on Wednesday and got some good support, thanks. It is truly surreal to be back in this space again after the relief of 7 months of being pain-free. My friends and family are still there to support me, even though I may have neglected them in the past 7 months. I feel embarrassed that I'm back in this space needing to lean on them again. One of my best friends said to me yesterday when I was crying that I just couldn't go back to that space of grief again, that I couldn't go through what I went through last breakup: "It might be different this time. You're not there; you're here. You don't know it's going to be the same, so take it as it comes." My question here is: a lot of people talk about how it was terrible in the beginning, how awful the first few weeks were, and then it slowly gets better, with a few setbacks along the way. But does anyone else find that it is bad in the beginning, and then gets MUCH WORSE further down the line for a while? Say, one or two months in? The first night and day after this latest breakup were terrible, and I couldn't eat or sleep and was sort of just letting waves of pain wash over me. Which did not happen last time. But I am finding that aside from waking up really early and feeling queasy in the mornings (which happened last time) that I feel kind of ok again now. Last breakup I was also more or less ok in the first month, and I think I was in denial and thought he would realise his mistake and come back any day. It wasn't until the second month that it really hit me and things got really bad. I am worried that I am once again in denial that a) it really is over for good, and/or b) that it's not going to be a really horrible time getting over this. Part of the reason why I found it harder further down the line last time was that the more time that passed, the further away he went from me, toddling down his own chosen path without me. The more time that passed the more likely it was that he was over it. And the more time that passed the more likely it was that he would have started seeing someone else. I guess I'm just really scared of the next few months because it was so painful last time. I'm trying to be grateful for any moments of grace I have, moments when it is sort of ok. I found a list I wrote for myself last time to help when it was really hard, and it included: "There are times when it is not so bad." We trudge on, I guess. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.