Should i contact her on our 3rd official annivarsary?

[disruptors]

Hey everyone... I've been broken up with my ex for a month and a half i guess! i didnt even realize it till yesterday, where as i thought i was only a month... But next week will be our 3rd year if we had stayed together, we were best friends for 2 years b4 we went out, and I dont know if i should just call her that day to say hi?? The thing is she is already with this guy kinda, they are only friends, but they both like each other, it just feels like she isn't going out with him because she has pity for me...

 

I dont know if contacting her on our 3rd year is good, cuz i've stopped contact with her completely. I miss her so much and even though I give advice to ppl on here about breakups of how we can only use the time we have to its best and live the life that will make us happy, try to find our independency, its alot easier said than done... I like all of you feel the pain still from day 1, as the feeling of rejection and enial of being with the one you love is one of the worse anyone can experience....

 

 

I guess I am mad at her for breaking up, telling me all the wrong reasons, such as wanting to find herself or spend time and make new friends. Point is she is always only with this guy...

 

The hardest part is to dream that you are back together with them and wake up to reality, as it really sucks right now... I think of all the things we went through, and all the laughs, and I just dont see how she can risk all of that to just experience things like with this guy...I am her first boyfriend, but I dont know... She always showed me and I knew that she loved me to depths unimaginable... Its just hard to believe she can turn her shoulder now and walk the other way... When I see her I just smile, and it kills to act like strangers when before we were all over each other... Breakups are tough but like all of you I am taking the extensive pain day by day...

 

So I dont know if i should just call or email her on our 3rd official annivarsary? Thanks ppl...I appreciate it...

[sassure]

Sending an e-mail certainly won't hurt, but prepare yourself just in case there is no response.

 

Don't be afraid of moving on. I've heard it said that we are allotted seven soulmates in an average lifetime-- that is, you will meet seven individuals with whom you will be able to form a permanent, life-altering relationship. This sounds pretty mystical to me, but the message is quite sensible, though you won't appreciate the full force of it until you meet someone new.

 

The point is to do what you can for now, but prepare yourself to move forward.

[aradia]

No matter what advice people give, you know that what you will do will come out of the balance between whatever your heart tells you and whatever your head tells you.

 

I was dumped by my ex four weeks ago......after 3 1/2 years so I truly understand what you feel.

 

I would say that an anniversary date is definitely NOT the time to contact her. to be honest, If she's not thinking about you, then she doesnt deserve contact (no matter how much you really really want to) as to her its going to look like you are still clinging to her and havent moved on, and since she has (or is trying to look like she has) this isnt going to be a good thing. Plus as you will be feeling more down and vulnerable on that date, if she isnt nice, or doesnt reply, etc then thats going to hit you pretty hard. If she is thinking about you... then she will be thinking about even if you dont contact. Maybe more...if she's wondering why you havent contacted. And let her wonder. Isnt that a more comforting thought than knowing that you have put yourself on the line (again) and she's not reacted.

 

If you want to contact her, do it randomly on another day and just send a text or email saying "hi, just wondering how you are doing.... Im ok, hope you are too....we should meet up sometime." or something along those lines.

 

And then if she wants to meet, she can arrange it. rather than the rejection of being turned down for a meeting.

 

As for on your anniversary date. Even though you will feel like s**t and like doing nothing, i say you should go and do something you have never done before. Even if its going into a shop you havent been in and trying on a dead nice suit, with no intention of buying. Or treat yourself to something. or even just do something that you like doing that she maybe wasnt so keen on. Liberate yourself and just be you for the whole day. think about whatever you want...if its her then thats fine. But everyu once in a while think "i can handle this" and also think "i am moving forward" and that you are so much a better and stronger person for having experienced this. Those little positive thoughts actually have a bigger effect than you would realise. Even saying them when you dont mean them (trust me at first you are just like "yeah whatever, bulls**t") but it works!

 

take care and email me or whatever. actually there is another idea. why not write the email you want to write then mail it to a friend or someone here. NOT your ex!!