Girlfriend only wants a "quickie" no foreplay...no longplay either

[trustno1]

I am in a great relationship right now...and the intimacy is fantastic...my only concern is theres no foreplay at all and Im not sure how to approach her on this. trust me ,,,,Im not complaining because our "time" is off the charts!!! I just think a little foreplay would just make it better. the few times that it has happened it made the experience last longer and she seemed to really enjoy how I handled it. I don't want to seem as I am dissatisfied in any way because Im not...maybe Im just being greedy...I do have a big appetite...

[bungalo]

I'm not sure what to make of this dmz. How long have you two been a couple? It sounds like she is treating sex like a chore. Foreplay and afterplay/holding/cuddling afterwards is reaaaally important to keep the bond. I hope she's not emotionally shutdown. Try to talk to her about it using "I" statements (I really like when we kiss and slowly discover our bodies...etc) Does she have a high stress job or kids that are wearing her out? I say make her wait. You need to be in charge...start the foreplay, and if she immeadiately pushes for intercourse, just keep the foreplay going, and say not yet..work her up into a nice lather. IDK. There are lots of good sex manuals on the market, or you can find some techniques online for sensous massage etc. Be the man, be dominant. Girls like this. Good luck.

[SongCoyote]

I'm afraid I would disagree with Bungalo on assuming that dominance is what she'd like. Not every woman enjoys that, especially if sprung on her by surprise (though that said, it's perfectly okay to take the lead, which is not the same as being dominant).

 

I do, however, completely agree with the suggestion to talk about it using "I" statements. Just be sure to keep it fun, light-hearted, and open-minded; it doesn't sound like you have a real problem per se, you just need to communicate your desires in a fashion that invites rather than blames.

 

Tell her what you like, ask her what she likes, and go to it Have fun!

 

Light and laughter,

SongCoyote

[trustno1]

I appreciate this.... I don't think its about dominance at all. I feel that maybe she is not used to it at all. Her past relationships have been with indviduals that didn't really care for her and were just using her..... we have a cool connection and I am going to talk to her about it...because its really not an issue , I just know it would make our time very special and brings us close which is what I would love to see....Thank you for taking time to respond...Peace

[greywolf]

I'm not really into foreplay either. If I want sex, then I want sex. If I don't want sex, foreplay is what leads me to wanting sex. Sometimes foreplay makes me angry and feel like I was manipulated into wanting sex. And once in awhile I like foreplay just for the bonding that comes wtih it.