Friend apologized to my relative for disrespecting them- do I acknowlegde it?

[philanx]

I had a close friend who behaved very disrespectfully towards a relative a year ago. I tried to talk to her about it but when she refused to hear what I had to say and I decided to end the friendship. A year later we ended up having to work together for a short period of time and I was civil but not engaging as a friend. After our assignment was over she treated me rudely when I saw her again so I told her she had no reason for her behavior because of the way she treated my relative. Shortly after this she called my relative and apologized.

 

I have two minds about how to respond. One response is I dont mention it because the apology wasnt directed at me and the issue is now resolved between them and it is something I will never bring up again when i see her again, which I will at some point. The other reaction I have is to contact her and tell her that I appreciate her apology because it softened a bunch of hard feelings.

 

Any suggestions?

[Awoken]

I would go with the "appreciate the apology" especially if your relative took it well and accepted her apology. I guess it also depends on how good a friend they were?

[HeartGoesOn]

Since it was between your relative and her, I would leave it there...

[Stay_home]

What happened between the friend and relative?

[philanx]

I introduced my relative to my friend who was seeking help on some projects. My relative helped by giving advice and technical assistance. My friend offered to return the favor but after she completed her assignment my friend didn't carry through on her offer nor did she explain why she was no longer available to help my relative. It wasn't that my relative needed the help as much as she felt she had been used. I was the one who introduced them and felt responsible for my friends behavior. I apologized on her behalf and when i saw my friend and brought it up she would change the subject. As a result, I stopped talking to her because I didn't think she conducted herself in a respectful way. This is what ended our friendship.

[tyr72]

If it softened hard feelings between you and your relative, then I think I personally would express appreciation. It never hurts to encourage positive behavior. If things were already OK between you and your relative then the issue is really outside you and I would leave it alone.

 

That all being said, it does not excuse her rudeness towards you, nor does it obligate you in anyway to her.

[lady00]

I see no harm in acknowledging the apology. I always think it's good to err on that side of things. True, the apology was not directed at you but I still think it would be fine to say that you appreciate it.

[philanx]

I sent a text saying Thanks and left it at that. I couldn't see any harm coming from doing it and I dont expect anything to come of it in terms of a renewed friendship. I thought it was better than not to at least give a bit of positive reinforcement to someone who has a pattern of not apologizing and being stubborn.