violet456 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Hi everyone, I've posted a few threads on here before and found it has been so helpful when i have noone to turn to or anyone who would understand the situation i have been in. We were together 4yrs where we lived together for 3.5yrs, its been 6 months since the BU but we havent gone more than 1-2 weeks without contact - we both had NC, NIC now its LC. when we broke up i chased, begged, cried for a second chance and of course he pulled away. it was when i stopped, took a long hard look at myself and changed myself for the better (more confident, less insecure and generally more understanding) when he came back and initiated contact. lately we have been in regular contact, i am more supportive of his work (as i was against it when we were together) and hes being more open to talking with me. he said he is over work, so tired and just sad. its awful to hear. he says it would be so nice to fall asleep and cuddle me and that its been good just talking. its so hard isnt it? you have been so close with this one person and now you have no idea where you stand with them. you dont want to come accross as needy by directly coming out and saying 'where are we?' because i understand he needs time to deal with his own issues. so i wrote this letter, im not sure but i felt good writing it, i just dont know whether to send it, i might leave it for a few days. "You are the most important person I have come to know in my life. I miss you so. I understand why we are here, why it came to this. After seeing how I treated you I would have left myself too, it was the only way for both of us to get back ourselves. I wish we didn’t fall apart, that I hurt you so, I cant believe I hurt you when it was the last thing I ever wanted. I didn’t let you be the person you completely wanted to be, I held you back with your friends, your work, it breaks my heart to know I did such things because the trust we shared fell apart. I’m sorry for this because I am also over-critical of the things I have done and I am thankful for learning this, even if I have lost you forever. It is truly the saddest part of me to know that I have lost you, I know what we had was not always perfect, it would have been beautiful if I supported you and what you wanted more because its about sharing each other’s hopes and dreams. You deserve to be happy, to excel at work, to hang with your friends without worry. I just wish things were different, I miss sharing that closeness with you. There is noone in this world that I see that will compare to your grace. I hope your ok, you are so hard-working, it would be so lovely to share your thoughts and melt your stresses away. I promise with all my heart to never hurt you. If there is one day you feel you can work thru this together and start again, would be truly amazing to share with you." just wondering what you all think from an outside perspective. thanks for your help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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