hawks0523 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Hey all, My girlfriend and I have been dating for roughly three years. I have noticed that I only get sex when the relationship is new (to start the relationship or when we got back together after an 8 month separation). She moved away in August and at that point we had a lot of sex. After a few weeks LDR it slowly wained and she said that she doesn't feel connected. She states that when she doesnt feel emotional connection that is the first thing to go. I have never stopped loving her and am becoming frusturated. Just the other day she stated that she has a hard time accepting love since she has a fear of abandonment. I can't convince her enough that I'm not going anywhere. She thinks that all I want is sex. If this is the case there would be no reason for me to be with her! Do I think that it is very important that we have sex in a serious relationship...yes. Do I think that this is all I want? No. Any ideas to make her feel emotionally connected or is she going elsewhere for this? I tell her I love her so much and do anything for her. I almost get the feeling that she uses it to lure me in and then once she has me she looses the need. I dont know if it is because she doesnt want to get close in fear of getting hurt while she is away or what? She is moving back in a few weeks. Do I talk to her about this issue? Do I wait it out? How do I get this connection back? Any help is appreciated?!!! Thanks! Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I think she needs to work on this herself. What you can do is just tell he how you feel honestly. Link to comment
hawks0523 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 One other thing to add is she has been somewhat depressed while away and doesn't feel good about her body... Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 One other thing to add is she has been somewhat depressed while away and doesn't feel good about her body... Another thing she needs to work on and is extremely likely contributing to the situation. A therapist would be best for this. You can't really be the one to give her advice about her body. All you can and should do is be honest with her about how you feel. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 It sounds like she may have depression. I think she should see a therapist. Link to comment
benton88 Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 The "all you want me for is sex" and the "I don't feel connected" excuses are just that -- excuses. I find it hard to believe that after 3 years and a LDR that she is worried that you are using her for sex. And the "I just don't feel connected" stuff is going to turn into a self fulfulling prophecy. Maybe she's just not that into sex, which is fine as long as she is with someone compatable (i.e., someone who is not that into sex). But you should beware that these types of issues rarely improve over time. If you feel like you are not fulfilled in this area now, it is likely this will be a long term issue in your relationship. Link to comment
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