Confused by current situation

[bluemoon75]

My ex girlfriend has decided to date a man 10+ years older than her after being out for the last 15 years. She doesn't want to give us another try because she feels she needs to do this?? I could see if she was younger and questioning her identity but she is in her early 40's is it really that easy to switch gears??

[rosephase]

That hurts but it should be no different then if she left you for a woman. She is switching gears, yes, from you to someone else and that doesn't feel great. But a lot of women feel attractions for both sexes but assume they will only have relationships with one. She might be wrong but it's not that strange.

[bluemoon75]

I guess it took me by surprise because outside of Robert Patterson she never seemed interested in men lol. I guess after meeting him he doesn't seem her type, older, kids are grown and distant. He showed no interest in her for almost three months until after he met me and saw how we interacted with each other thats when he started to pay just enough attention to keep her. He even told her he didn't like that she has ties to her old lifestyle and that he was going to change her back

[lukeb]

It sounds like your ex has moved on but you haven't, I doubt if you would approve of anyone she's dating man or woman. When you are in your 40's dating someone in their 50's really isn't much of an age difference because generally you'd be in same stage in life. If I were her current bf I wouldn't want her to have ties to you either. If you were her friend then you would respect her choices.

[bluemoon75]

It sounds like your ex has moved on but you haven't, I doubt if you would approve of anyone she's dating man or woman. When you are in your 40's dating someone in their 50's really isn't much of an age difference because generally you'd be in same stage in life. If I were her current bf I wouldn't want her to have ties to you either. If you were her friend then you would respect her choices.

 

Thats the thing once I told her I was still in love with her but needed to stop contact because of her current situation. He broke up with her the following week and has decided to move away. This isn't the first time he broke up with her either thats why I thought it was a passing phase. The only time he showed interest in three months was when he saw me as a threat and he told her that. Its not the same stages in life he is late 50's with no kids at home, unemployed and has severe health issues. She is 41 with a child at home, works full time and healthy. It wasn't just ties with me, he didn't want her to do with anything that reminded him she liked women. He got made that she has LGBT pride items in her room or talked to her other lesbian friends.

[Phebe Halliwel]

maybe she wants a family.