Shy me, shy girl, screwed it all up?

[ApathyKid666]

I recently (month or so ago) asked a girl from school, who is also a grade lower than me out for a movie, or something else that would peak our interest. Not only did I ask her out, but I did it over the phone (idiot, I know), but at least it wasn't over the internet as so many people do these days. The main reason for doing this I guess is the simple fact, she is a very hard person to get to talk outside of 'hi' 'hello' or some other formal address unless im specifically speaking to her question by question, or over the phone I feel she sensed an awkwardness and did finally ask a few questions, beyond the point though. I never got to know her too much last year, though I did talk to her quite a bit. Anyways, I asked this girl out, and she typically said yes, not so blatantly though, she morely said sure, as if she wasnt sure what i was asking, or she wasnt sure she wanted to it sounded to me. So as always, I waited a few days to get in touch with her again and find a time that would work, as I got ahold of her my speech kind of went down the drain, but when I did get it out, she had reported that she would feel uncomfortable going with me for the fact she doesn't date much. As much as I wanted to say 'if you don't start now, you never will' I didn't, since I didn't want to pressure her into something she didn't want to go through with. She said as well, "maybe later on in the school year or something". So we hung up, and went about business. I went on vacation, then a few weeks of soccer practice followed, so I never saw her until a week ago, when school started. I've managed to talk to her once since then and it was only a quick 'hi' as I was late for soccer practice.

 

My question is, did I screw this up? When she said "maybe later" did she mean that as a gentle let down - that she just didn't want to and hoped I wouldn't bring it up again? And how should I go about talking to her now? I never see her since I'm not in her classes, don't see her at soccer practice, and I'm afraid to approach her when she's with her friends. What to do?

[falcon115]

I'd say its hard to tell. I recently encountered the same thing but outside of school. I asked she said yes but then backed out and said maybe later. So i gave it another try 2 months later she was once again unavailabe. So now I know she has no interest. Give it another shot and if she says no this time say something like come on at least give me a chance. If that dont work just back off and go about your life.

[jbw65]

Hey,

 

Just a thought. Give her a nice compliment and a smile when you see her without pressing the dating issue. A simple "You look great!" can be worth a lot to just about anybody. It also conveys your interest without putting her on the spot. Try this a few times, if you get the cold shoulder you may have your answer. If you don't then it's time to have further conversations. Just letting someone know that you care about them consistently can do great things.

[1899]

Im kinda in your situation, only difference she would always return my calls and smile when i saw her. But she never would show much interest such as asking questions and agreed to go out with me but made up an excuse at the last minute so I just stopped calling. I figure if you dont show some interest, then theres no use in pursuing. Shy or not. Id prefer someone a little more outgoing. Im shy too but jeez..

To answer your question, i dont think you did anything wrong. She just was not interested in you at the time. Do what I do, Dont ignore her, just smile and say hi, and keep moving if you two ever make eye contact. This leaves the ball in her court if she decides to talk to you again.

[vfunkera]

You didn't do anything wrong.

 

'Maybe', in women language means 'No'. If she was interested she would have at least planned another night or month etc, not just a 'later'. Some women also like to have a sort of back up for the night, and/or play around with guys. Recognize when this is happening, and never accept to be a cushion for them.

 

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