Is this a real reason to break no contact?

[mrsbubble]

I know this thread would fit better in "healing after break-up" ,but i chose to put it here.

 

Hello everyone. I don’t even know what to start with.I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago ( I’ve been the dumper) .We’ve been together only for 5 months but i've got attached so much..

He was very busy and he hadn’t enough time for us like he had in the beginning , we were talking less.(he was in cantonment and I kow he was busy … We hadn’t been spoken for 3 days so I texted him this is not a relationship for me and I hadn’t got an answer.

 

I’m thinking about him almost everyday and I still hope to get any answer as long he hadn’t until now.I’ve been feeling bad , I couldn’t sleep and this affected me a lot. This problem in getting serious.Last week I was feeling like I couldn’t breath and my heart was aching . I went to the doctor. My heart it’s healthy .The doctor told me it’s only about emotionality and I have to be stronger because I’m “playing with my heart “ ( my beat is very low-45 but it also can get too high -175) . I’m on pills to help my beat be constant but I know it’s not only about pills.

 

I feel like my chest is about to explode and sometimes I feel lilke I would tell my ex-boyfriend so many things but I can’t put them in words and at the same time I think that maybe he doesn’t want to talk about us anymore.I’m feeling guilty because I ended all and maybe he was busy with his stuff. I have nightmares about him telling me how much I’ve hurt him when I left , but I know that maybe he stopped thinking about us from a long time ago.

 

I don’t know what to do .The fact that the door is open kills me and so does the thought that maybe he will come someday. Is there any rule like : if you dumped him , you are supposed to got for him?

 

But in this case I don’t really know who’s the dumpee and the dumper . I mean , yes I’ve been the one who said I want to break up but he didn’t replay., so I’m feeling like a dumpee.

 

I want to speak with him because I don’t see any other way to stop blaming myself for not being able to fight for what I love.

Any advice ?

[EgoJoe]

I want you to take a hot bath with the light off. Focus on nothing but breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Clear your mind and post again telling us what you'd like to accomplish through contact.

[happymeboy]

this sounds like a genuine post to me,someone looking to amend a wrong (??) from the past. Wanna call him? To tell him you regret it ? Just bear in mind that whatever you do or say, you may be up for some resentment from him so "use with caution" whatever you decide to do. Having the doors open is a good sign but be careful, you dont wanna blow it away.take it slow and make sure you can handle rejection at first so you dont go all down and depressed.Up to you.

[catfeeder]

You say you haven't spoken for 3 days, that's not exactly no contact. You sound too focused on this to grow any clarity. Give yourself the opportunity to heal and gain some distance.

[mrsbubble]

Thank you EgoJoe for your great idea. i have never thought breathing could help this much. I need to know if this is really over so then i could move on with my life. Like happymeboy said maybe i will not hear what i want and i know it might be hard to handle but being in this situation and hoping for any contact from his side is harder. And i feel like if i'm not doing it know it may be too late because it already has been passed 2 months since the break up.