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Girl still has feelings for the guy she talked to right before me


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I've been talking to this girl for about three months now. She really likes me, calls me baby, babe, boo and texts me all day and talks to me on the phone a lot. We started talking at the end of the summer, and unfortunately I had to go back to school but we liked each other so much we kept talking. I'm coming back for thanksgiving break next week so I will see her in a few days. And about a week ago she asked to be exclusive and not talk to other people even though we are separated during the school months, which I agreed to. We aren't in a relationship but we have a good thing going. She always mentions how happy she is to have me in her life, how I'm the best she's ever had and the best guy she's ever talked to. The problem is her past. She's talked to and had sex with two of my friends before me. One is a good friend and was just a two month thing, but the other is a normal(not extremely close) friend who were talking and obviously having sex for a good four months. I'll call this guy who she was talking to for four months Joe. Now she stopped talking to Joe because he had an on again off again girlfriend, and he got back with his girlfriend and cut this girl off. This was in June. Me and her started talking shortly after, at the end of july until now. And I didn't tell my friend Joe that we were talking because she didn't want the world to know at first, and because I've been out of touch with him for the past 5 months. A few days ago he came up in conversation, and she said that he's been trying to hang out with her. She then asked me if I would have a problem with it. I said yea I would be kind of uncomfortable because that was your most recent guy and he's also my friend, it could be a messy situation. She agreed. But two days later she called me up and told me they had just hung out at her place for about 30 minutes just to update her ipod. She insisted that nothing went on. But she did say he vented and admitted he still likes her, despite having his girlfriend. She told me about this whole thing on the phone, and then I said well if my friend still likes you I can't really keep talking to you it will be weird. She got really sad then immediately said she'll call me right back pretty soon. She then called me back two hours later and said she texted him and said that she's talking to a new guy and them hanging out doesn't make sense. She said she cut him off and I was really happy she did that for me. But then a couple of days after that she said she had to text him to borrow his calculator, and I said well can't you borrow calculators from someone else you already said you were going to cut him off and your still texting him. She then felt sorry again, apologized and said its weird going from being cool friends with someone to never talking to them again. But she agreed she would stick to cutting him off because she didn't want this to keep coming up and causing tension between us. She insisted she wants only me and she likes me way more then she ever liked him. Then last night she was going to a big school party, and she called me late last night after the party. She always tells me everything, and I'm actually quite surprised how honest she is versus other girls who would just keep this stuff a secret. She said that my friend Joe kept trying to dance with her and pull her away from her friends, and they talked about their past situation for a good 10 minutes at the party. She then said that she realized a part of her still likes him a little bit. But she said she only wants me, she doesn't want him. But she can't control her emotions. I told her that I understand, a part of you still likes him, then you should keep talking to him. But that means me and you are over. I'm not going to put myself in that position I told her. She agreed that she was in the wrong and she understands but she wants me so bad and likes me way more than him. And she said of course I didn't say I would act on those feelings/like for him, but they are still there a little bit. If she could erase them for me she said she would. But she did say she would not try to actively hang out with him or text him at all for me. She said she can't bare to lose me and that the closer and closer we get and the more time that passes (since her and him were so recent), her small feelings/like for him will die out. She said I just need to be patient and that of course she's not going to go after him, she's going after me. After hearing her honest assessment and making her promise to make her best effort to try and forget about those small feelings for him, I agreed that I would continue to talk to her. But I also told her it will put a cloud over what we have. She agreed and was happy that I would be patient with her and trust her.


Now I'm sorry this was so long, but I have to ask, am I making a mistake? I know that I will have to tell my friend Joe that me and her are talking / have gotten intimate. She said that after I tell him it will make everything be absolutely better. I don't know if that will, it might cause drama. Anyways, what would you guys do? Am I fool for continuing with this, will she always have feelings for him? But then again, I don't want to lose her and her amazing body(the sex we have is great) and I'm not exactly looking for a longterm girlfriend or anything. I do want loyalty though. Should I trust her and believe her feelings will fade, or is she going to eventually end up going back to him? Or maybe I'm making a big deal over nothing because she agreed she wouldn't act on her feelings?

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  • 5 months later...

Yup to the last post, that's the same girl. Since she did me wrong in the past is that why I'm overreacting, and does that justify it??? Thank you all for your insightful and thoughtful responses I'm taking them all into account

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