GummyBear Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I've been with my boyfriend since July. We fell in love very quickly and are very serious in regards to our future together. However, he is in the middle of a divorce proceeding with his ex-wife, and still lives with her and his children. He sleeps on the couch, but obviously, doesnt have his own place. I'm recently unemployed and living with my parents. So we often don't have privacy. We have been intimate a few times, but they are few and far between. It's always quick, impulsive, and just okay. We don't have the freedom to enjoy sex. The only time we did was when my parents went away and we had a few problems. He is financially strapped because of his divorce, works over 60 hours at week at 2 jobs, and has two tiny children. I know he loves me and at least I can say he isn't using me, despite his divorce, because sex isn't a priority of his. The problem is, it's not a priority at all. He is affectionate, but only on a sweet level. And trust me, I love it - he's the first affectionate man i've dated. But he never makes a sexual move. I've initiated everything. Sometimes he loses interest during sex and we just stop. Sometimes that happens during foreplay, so we don't have sex at all. He's never made a move or implied he's even wanted sex, until I make a move. And it's starting to become a big problem. I love having sex when I'm in a relationship and often. I DO appreciate that we've gotten to know each other better because we're not always getting busy, but sexually, I'm beyond frustrated. I'm not the cheating kind, but for the first time in my relationship life, I'm flirting with other men because I'm curious id I'm capable of receiving that kind of attention, and a part of me wonders if I'm in the right relationship if he can't fulfill a simple need. But then I hate myself. Because here's a man who wants to take care of me, start a life with me and marry me... but he isnt providing for me sexually. And this has been since September - and we only started dating in July. Our first month together, we couldnt keep off of each other. And once real sex finally happened, everything else stopped. And that's a bad thing. I hate our sexual relationship now. He can see something is wrong with me - he knows I'm unhappy. I shut off all together sometimes because I know its a dead-end. And as honest and open as I am, I dont wanna complain about our sexual relationship as often as I feel it - I tried to bring it up nicely, and it didn't work. If I was truly honest, I'd sound superficial, like sex is all I care about. But it's part of the relationship I want and I can't get him to provide it for me. If we're talking marriage and a life together, this is an issue we have to resolve. I don't know what I can do to push temptation away (because its coming out of the woodwork from all different directions). And I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I've never had an issue where someone wouldn't sleep with me - not someone who claimed to love me. It's also starting to affect my ego and self-esteem. I'm starting to worry if my weight is a problem. He doesn't use physical compliments on me anymore, so many... he's losing interest? The problem is, as long as he's not giving in to me, I start to lose interest as well. How can we share intimate times? How can I find resolve? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.