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Me and my ex broke up in august (she basically broke up with me) because I moved 3 hours away to college and so I went with the breakup and acted like it wasn't a big deal.


I really still liked her and would think about her non-stop, but I was very patient with NC and figured experiencing college for the first few months would help my situation. Lately things have been going well, but I still think about her all the time even though I'm meeting new woman in college.


What happened was around 2 and a half weeks ago in late October I get a text saying that she misses me a lot. I played it off seeming all calm and being myself and then I go on later in our conversation and asked if she wanted to grab lunch or dinner that weekend (since I would be in town) She accepted and that weekend we got dinner. Obviously I was nervous as hell and I didn't how it would go. I've heard so many stories of people when they reunite with their exes after a breakup that they get so nervous, they freeze up and never really ignite that spark again with their ex that they wanted so badly to. We talked for about 2 and a half hours and were forced to leave because the place closed at 11 P.M. It was pretty awesome still having that 'feeling' with her again and could talk about anything with her. There was a little flirtation, but I didn't wanna force anything too soon with her so after dinner I just said good-bye. The next day we talked and ironically my mom was getting married the next weekend (November 6th) ...so I asked her 2 weeks ago today if she would like to be my date for my mom's wedding. (my mom wanted me to get a date) She said yes.


The wedding and reception was awesome. She was an amazing date and even impressed my family. Everything that night went right between us and I even spent the night at her house. I cuddled in her bed with her, but that's it. (that might have been a little too much, but i'll live with my decision) The next day she went to school and I drove back to my college.


Here's the thing. I guess I shouldn't go back to NC now, but should we start texting on a daily basis again or should I text every other day or still hardly initiate contact with her? Like I'm confused on how I should handle now that we've gotten passed the stage we were at.



And I just want to say my expectations are to not get back together with her. (I don't think she wants to be in an LDR) My expectations are hoping we ignite feelings for each other again and taking it slowly. If she can create those feelings again with those emotions that she lost for me sometime ago, then maybe we can start 'talking' again. Nothing serious, because I don't want her to feel like were in a LDR and make it feel like a burden to her that I'm 3 hours away. But maybe this will set up a good future for us.


Bottom line is that I feel like I have some momentum between us, but idk what I should do from here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Don't try to resurrect your old relationship. It is over. Ancient history. What you want to do is develop a whole new relationship with your ex and start from there. Take things slowly and don't push or you might just push her away. Stay in control of your emotions. If you've been in NC for a while it will help to control your emotions.

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A new relationship...I've never thought about it like that. That sounds like a good idea, but how do you develop a new relationship when there once was an old relationship?



You have history together. You are not strangers but this is how you approach the concept of starting a new relationship. The reason you don't want the old relationships is, it's built on a shaky foundation. It didn't last or you wouldn't be broken up. An old Chinese proverb says "When you lose you way you should always go back to the beginning."


Whatever caused the breakup must be addressed in order to start over. If you try to pick up where you left off it's usually a recipe for disaster. A lot of the old feelings will resurface. Take it slow like you did when you met the first time. Make a concerted effort to change whatever went wrong in the relationship. Don't tell them you've changed but show them through your actions. You have to start dating this person all over again. Relationships cause people to evolve as you two will be different from the first time you met.

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