Should I be losing any hope of getting back together?

[playstheblues]

I hope he isn't looking for someone else- even for the his own sake and the next person he dates - he is in no real state to be able to do that right now.

I just received an email from him saying only "How are you?" I've decided I'm not going to respond to that because it will only make him feel a bit better and me feel a bit worse. If he writes something with substance, I will reply.

 

I think you are right although the town where my brother lives (where I am) is quite small and insular- very hard to meet people. But I will go out and I will try to meet some nice people - hopefully there are some good guys about although the pickings are slim- everyone in this place is married off so early!!

 

Thanks for your confidence but I certainly don't feel beautiful at the moment. You on the other hand are very pretty- almost glowing in your profile shot!

 

I hope you are going out and even though Greece is in turmoil, you are finding some nice people to socialise with. Have you had any spinoffs from the whole Berlusconi drama?

[jolbell69]

I think you are on the right track!! Respond only when you need to, or he is asking something specific. It doesn't matter about the size of the town - go out and have a little fun. You might be surprised...

 

Beauty is the whole person, and I know you are beautiful!! Perhaps, you feel less beautiful because the man you loved decided not to be with you anymore, but tell yourself you are beautiful no matter what happens to you. I felt the same in the beginning, but now I tell myself I am beautiful every day. Haha - my profile pic was taken last Christmas when I took my ex to England. It was a wonderful time and I was extremely happy - that's probably why I am 'almost glowing'. Thank you for the lovely comment anyway.

 

I have been very ill recently, as you know, so I haven't been out much. However, I am going home to England on Friday for 9 days are there are many parties organised, so I will have a lot of fun catching up with everyone. When I come back to Greece, I will be having some nights-out with my good friends here.

 

Greece is in total turmoil, but the mood has lifted slightly over the past week with the forming of a coalition government and Berlosconi resigning in Italy. The Euro Zone is in crisis, so we will see what happens.

[playstheblues]

I'm glad to hear you are going back to England for a little while to catch up with people, hopefully your health improves - dealing with all this and your health problems cannot be easy.

 

I'm pretty much distraught at the moment, I'm quite sure my ex has started to see someone else. A receipt came to our old email account for flowers and they were obviously bought by him, not for me. I don't know whether I should confront him, or just not even speak to him. I feel even more betrayed because he obviously hasn't been honest with me about the break up. how could I have trusted this man for 6 years?

[playstheblues]

Jolbell, I just wanted to tell you. We had a big argument/discussion this afternoon and he was really mean and quite insensitive. I tried my best to be understanding but he kept attacking me so I said to him - you can't do this to me anymore. Please don't contact me again- I will not be in your life in any capacity.

 

I found out that he had been going out, getting completely trashed and doing whatever it is that he does - I thought he was trying to get his * * * * together- that's why we broke up. He's just lied the whole time. He's obviously happy with the decision to not have me in his life at all because he was quite callous and mean to me - who is this person and how did he get like this overnight?

 

Surely the antidepressants are kicking in now but he seems to be being mean instead of feeling better. How could he string me along this whole time? I am so hurt and confused and worried - I don't hold out any hope of getting back together ever. I don't know what to do. I'm almost physically sick thinking about it.

[jolbell69]

The flowers could be for a female family member/friend?? It must be a horrible feeling - it would surely be better for you not to know these things?? Delete the email account/FB account, etc.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your argument. His depression/ side effects of the drugs could cause this, but I don't know enough to be sure. He sounds as if he is very defensive. He is trying to excape from his problems by going out and getting drunk, but it is a very bad idea as it will make his psycological problems worse. You should definitely now take some time completely away from him - no contact - IMO. Please look after you - let him worry about himself!!!

[BH129]

Oh plays the blues - i feel so bad for you...

 

Being mean may just be his way of dealing with things... after all if you can convince yourself you hate someone it sure as hell makes it easier to deal with the guilt of having hurt them so badly. And even going out and partying is just a way of distracting yourself from how you are really feeling.

 

Don't read too much into it.

 

But definitely don't keep pursuing him - you've got to let him do whatever it is he feels he needs to do...

 

I know it's hard, believe me, my husband flies to barbados today for our holiday of a lifetime we had planned together, without me... so I know about grieving but the only thing you can do is keep moving forward...

 

Hugs

[charmed83]

Hi i am in a similar situation cause i keep hoping my ex will come back to me although he already is living together with a new love. But i still think it's some sort of rebound relationship....I strongly advice you to let him go for now, you have to have no contact for a while at least a couple of months to think about the situation and your feelings. You will go to a rollercoaster of emotions and it will hurt, you can cry and be sad about it for a long time.... but you will get closer to yourself and then at some point you will be happier with yourself and you will find your power within yourself just by taking time and rest for a while. If you feel lonely i know cause i feel terrible lonely, but it will go away again. I know cause now it's going a lot better with me and it's been 10 months after the break up.

[charmed83]

I forgot to reply on the fact that you say that it's not getting better after 3 months after the break up. YOU REALLY NEED TO CUT OF ALL CONTACT AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. i am telling you first of all, if he wants to come back he still has to miss you and you have to disappear for a while. When you are there for him and he knows he's not losing you completely he will not feel like he's losing you and it will comfort him. cause you will still be an option to him or he at least can have you as a sort of friend. It's not good for you and you should only go for a good relationship, get him out of his comfortzone. If he rejected you, then you must let him feel how it is to live without you! trust me, you will here from him if he loves you enough, if he doesen't then you need to let him go completely.

[charmed83]

I forgot to reply on the fact that you say that it's not getting better after 3 months after the break up. YOU REALLY NEED TO CUT OF ALL CONTACT NOW AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. I am telling you first of all, if he wants to come back he first has to miss you and you have to disappear for a while. Right now you are there for him and he can call you and contact you, so he will not starting to miss you cause you are still there for him. He knows he's not losing you completely, he will not feel like he's losing you and it will comfort him. Cause you will still be an option to him or he at least can have you as a sort of friend. But it's killing you and you can not move on with your life and grieve about the break up when he's still contacting you. It's not good for you and you should only go for a good relationship, get him out of his comfortzone now!! He rejected you, then you must let him feel how it is to live without you! trust me, you will here from him if he loves you enough, if he doesen't then you need to let him go completely.