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im bout to make a BIG Decision...should i go through with it?.....


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my ex has got me confused..everytime i leave..she comes back to me, and im to the point where its like...do i pack my bags and go (figure of speech) or keep in touch..... im pretty good friends with my ex girlfriends best friend...she was the one to hook us up..this past weekend my ex's friend gave me her number..shes real cool.... im thinking about talking to her about my ex, cuz i kno my ex vents to her a lot... my ex's friend told me the other day that my ex is happy, but not as happy without me in her life....im thinking about talking to my ex's friends, and asking her whats up..whats the deal... i kno she knows things... after her and i have a talk it would be the last talk.. at the end of the conversation i would tell her to act as if the day never happened.... i was gonna take her out to lunch, and talk about it then....is that a good idea?..bad idea..theres just soo many questions that i dont have any answers too, and i kno talking to my ex's friend would help alot.......

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come on guy youve asked this before and the answer is still the same. NO DO NOT CONTACT HER. do you really think if you told her to "act like it never happened" she would? absolutely not! anything you say to her will most certainly make it back to your ex. you might as well not even be in NC if you can still call it that because youre still lingering in your exs life through your friend you need to completely disappear like houdini. it will have even MORE of an effct now that youve been talking to her friend and all the sudden youre just gone. seriously I understand where youre coming from talking to exs friends feels comfortable and gives you a false sense of security but it is not good.

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I would be suspicious of anyone who is okay being stuck in the middle like that. I wouldn't be. In fact, I would hate it if I was sort of friends with my friend's ex, and he asked if he could take me to lunch and grill me about her. I would find it rather disturbing. No offense. It's sort of stalker-ish. And if this girl is really friends with your ex, I would hope her loyalty would lie there, and not with you. If she would be willing to tell you anything you wanted to know, then I would probably not trust anything she says anyway, because I would wonder if she was a drama queen who gets off on messing with other people's lives.


It's probably not the best idea. If you want to get back with your ex, then do it. If you know it's really over, then stay away from her. Pick one. (just a thought: distance will help you decide between the two.)

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Look, the gloves are off now buddy.


Your Ex has zero respect for you. So little that all she has to do is send her friend to "talk to you as your friend" to get allllll the informaton she needs. You're getting played in a harsh way. Even if it's only once, bam, played. Stop it. Stop asking, why, what, where, when, how if, big decision this blah blah blah. We've all been there, it feels epic and life changing but it's just your emotions, your ego and pain all striving for ONE thing. You're trying to end the pain and you're thinking quick fix this and plot like that.


Stop. Face the damn pain. If she EVER comes back (and she won't be serious for a long time due to everything that has happened) if you're healed YOU WILL FIND yourself wondering IF you want her back. Man the hell up and go cry. Beat your pillow, hit the punching bag, pushups, join the gym and hit the spa. Face the fear that you're pushing down with false up it is becoming anxiety. Face the anger that you're bottling up over the way you were treated it has become depression and sadness.


Demand BETTER for yourself. I was there man. Trying to see from this angle and that angle. To hell with the angles! Build a new model of reality that is objective and find comfort in what you didn't do wrong in what you don't need to fix. Then, dig deep and take that fuel and fix the other stuff. Even, DN thinks you would do well to move on. It's a requirement for successful reconciliation anyways.


Final though, your ex is a dumb LITTLE GIRL. Women might mature faster in some ways but they aren't where a man SHOULD be at logically at comparable ages. I know biology major genius girls in their senior year of college that are when it comes to other things. The egocentrism is amok at this age. Forgive her for being human. Hurt people hurt people. Hold your head high and don't pay any mind to those who didn't believe in you, who disregarded you and who will be kicking themselves down the road when you take this situation where your only obligation is to yourself and you make the best of it. Now, go out there and kick some ass!

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