estarrs Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I suffer from serious depression and have had a nervous breakdown. My fiance broke up with me a few months ago. Several weeks ago we talked about getting back together, but he decided he didn't want to. He is the manager of a rink where my roller derby league practices. Before we dated and after we broke up he told me that he didn't want me to quit, and that he would stay in the manager's office when I had to go there. For a few weeks it was great. Then I made the mistake of going to the office to ask about one of my unreturned items yesterday in a friendly manner. He interpreted this to mean I was ok, and started hanging out watching our practice later. When I asked him to go into the office, he refused (twice). I ended up leaving. I don't know why, but I can't stand seeing him. I just want to go crazy when I do. How do I ignore him so that I don't lose the last activity I love because I can't be around him? Do I contact him and remind him that he said he'd stay out of sight? Link to comment
KYRiverGrl Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Total NC is the best way to get over him ... I suggest skating at a rink he does not frequent. Link to comment
estarrs Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 there aren't any. and this is where my team practices. Link to comment
DN Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Yes, remind him of his promise. Tell him you made a mistake going to the office and request he honour what he said before. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Just focus on roller derby. Do what you love doing and after go hang out with teammates or relax at home. Things will get better. Link to comment
RubyWoo Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 All I can say is... don't stop going to the rink because of him!!! I do roller derby too by the way, we have started the first league in our city! Keep skating, getting better, skate till you can't skate anymore when you get angry at him!! Link to comment
estarrs Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 I reminded him both times I asked him to go into the office. I tried ignoring him, but I guess I'm in the "anger" stage, 'cause I just kept getting madder and madder. I'm really afraid I'll lost it and scream at him if i see him again. Link to comment
DN Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Look - he works there. If he wants to come out of the office (maybe to do his job) while you are there there is nothing you can do other than not go to the arena. And if you end up making a scene you could get banned from the place anyway. Link to comment
estarrs Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 DN - i know he works for and i'm trying to avoid making a scene... that's the whole purpose of this thread. He wasn't working, he came out just to watch our practice. What's the best way for me to communicate to him that I need him to honor his promise since I don't think any conversation we could have would help anything (especially if I can't keep my emotions under control). Write a letter? Send a friend to talk to him? Leave it alone and hope next week he goes back into hiding to avoid the drama? Link to comment
DN Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 You can ask him however works best for you but don't be surprised if he refuses. How many times a week are you there and for how long? Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I don't agree that he should stay in the office. It's his job. And if he wants to come out of the office that's up to him. I'm sure you can control your emotions like a grown up. If you see him watching you, just ignore it. He's the manager of the place so you would have to understand he's not going to stay hours in the office. In a way, your messing with his job and it's not fair. Link to comment
estarrs Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 one night a week for 2 hours. and it's not like i care if he walks to the bathroom or go outside for a smoke. i just don't want him sitting on a bench watching our practice. it's horribly distracting and painful. Link to comment
estarrs Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 Like I said, he was sittin' on a bench watching, not cleaning or changing lightbulbs or any of the other gazillion things he does. Link to comment
estarrs Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 Ok... don't attack me. And as manager he DOES, as a rule and as part of the job, sit in the office. I don't agree that he should stay in the office. It's his job. And if he wants to come out of the office that's up to him. I'm sure you can control your emotions like a grown up. If you see him watching you, just ignore it. He's the manager of the place so you would have to understand he's not going to stay hours in the office. In a way, your messing with his job and it's not fair. Link to comment
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