In love with best friends girl

[Livinginpain]

The best way to start this off is by getting to the point. Ive known my best friends girlfriend bf he did. We used to go to the same buss stop togather. At that time in my life Ashely was someone i never hung around with because our lives just went in diff directions. She was around ppl i didnt like and i never gave it a thought of hanging out.

 

As years went by i became 18 she being 17. I had recently been fired from a job in the town over. I got hired at a nursing home where Ashely was working. My first day of work i met my her soon to be boyfriend, my male best friend now. At the time he was dating another girl. Scot, Ashley and i all worked togather. I still never reached out to her as serious friends out of lack of having interests.

 

My male friend broke up with his gf and Scot was telling me that Ashely likes him. Was asking me if he should give her a shot. I told him no bc she was at the time a girl that was not ideal for relationship perposes bc of her prior rep. (she was ever labeled a ho, it was the ppl she occociated with) He didnt take this advice and they started dating. Not ever hanging out with her was changing.

 

Changing bc we all worked togather and once they started dating it would be us 3 lots of times hanging. I even moved in with them and lived with them for a few months. We 3 decided to have a road trip and move far away and start new lives. We moved to Wyoming. After almost a year after living out there, i ended up coming back to MO to be closer to my family. They however stayed and keep there lives going.

 

I stayed in MO for years, by now 3 1/2 years has gone by and i decide to go back to wyoming agian. They had there own trailer and room for me. Scot worked all morning and Ashely's work scedule at my new job were both the same. She would take me to work and would pick me up. Id pay for gas and we started to be around each other more often that bf. We would both be off work and would just chill for hrs bf scot got home. This went on for a year.

 

In the meantime Scot is a controlling a@#hole that yells and calls her names. He has little to no respect for her and takes all the things she does for granted. At the time i told her i was happy her and i have had lots of time to spend with each other. Also said that if her and scot ever broke up that i wanted her to be a part of my life still somehow. (later on years later i found out she wanted me to come out there bc she wanted to leave him. She just didnt want to leave him and him be alone 800miles away from his real home state and family.

 

I ened up moving back to MO yet agian where ive remained. Scot and Ashely have moved back aswell and restarted there lives the town over from my home town. Bf they moved they concieved of a child togather. They were staying with scots mother and her bf. Scot never got a job and never helped her with the kid. She ended up getting a job to support them both and there kid. Id come over all the time and i would see it all. The fights the kid neglection and everything.

 

Ashely started to talk to me about scot and things that she was worried about. By this time i have been friends with Ashley for over 5 years. She looked to me for advice and valued me as someone important in her life in terms of friends. If it were not for me on many occasions they would have broke up. Me being the cupid and making things ok. She talked to me one night while scot was sleeping with a headache. She told that i payed more attention to her than him, that i dont interrupt her when she talks, that i listen to her then respond and actually even do things for her that he should be doing. Getting the baby some milk for example while hes playing videogames.

 

Its not like i ever hung out with them with ententions to be with her somehow. She slowly filled my head with these things. It got to me bc i realized one day that omg im not going over to see scot anymore. Im leaving my house to go see Ashley. I was accidently having feelings for her and i could not help what my heart wanted.

 

I told her how i felt around the time there fighting was getting so bad that there relationship was looking dire. I did not plan this bc i told her bf she wanted to break up with him. I told her in a letter than i regreted never talking to her all those years back at the buss stop days. That she was the perfect women and that i am falling in love with her. Dreaming about her romaticly and sexually. The smell of her skin, the way she talks, the way she laughs. The things that make her laugh. I took this chance of telling her how i felt. She has never told him and never will.

 

Its been a year since ive told her how i felt. They have moved out of his moms and they both now live in mine and Ashleys hometown. I got a job at a local restuarant and my thoughts and feeling for her started to fade. I wanted them to bc it was my best friends girl. I found things to take her off my mind. Stopped going over there trailer. Working and doing other things worked for the entire summer of 2011. I knew i needed to squash those feelings and i did.

 

Since then ive lost my job yet agian and Scots alays worked the morning shift. Ashley does not work and stays home with there kid. Her and i have become closer since ive let her know how i felt. Over the time i had my resturant job she knew my feelings for her faded bc i told her i squashed that bc nothing good could come from it. Only lots of broken hearts, and possibly bones. Now that ive lost my job i go over there trailer almost everyday just to hang with her bc there is little to do in this town. 256 ppl in the middle of nowhere.

 

She never took advantage of my feelings bf and it was something i respected bc some girls do. My love for her has been recidled through more accidents. Just by being around her has brought up old feelings. She is having the same problems with scot as there were bf. Only the diff this time is she has let me know that if they ever broke up she might consider me as something serious. She tells me that im the perfect guy and any women would be the luckiest girl in the world to have me. I dont get mad, i clean house, i do dishes, wash my own cloths, ect ect. I say things and act more romantic than most guys.

 

These are all things she says to me. Shes never made a move, ive never made a move shes has let me know that she would be the aggressor in that situation and i wouldnt have to kiss her first. She is basically letting me know that if they ever broke up that im def first in line.

 

I guess the advice im looking for from people is how can i convice her to break up with scot?

They dont belong togather, she is being disrepected, demenoured, and hes destroying her self esteem. I want her very badly in soul and body. I guess all i can do is wait things out and try not to let myself be destroyed inside.

 

Should i go beyond who i am as a romantic sweet guy and do little things for her? Things that make her say he is so sweet. I do want her, i will sacrifice my friendship with scot for her. Its so horrible but its true.

[Ms Darcy]

She knows how you feel and chooses to be with him. That tells you what you need to know. She isn't in love with you. I think you need to stop spending time with her again and move on.