I might be the other woman

[beyes]

I just started seeing a man that is married. He tells me that he has serious feelings for me and wants to continue seeing me. He seems very sincere. I have my convictions also but as much as I have tried I too have feelings for him. His marriage was already failing and they were already talking about divorce before I came into the picture. He tell me that he wants a future with me and for the first time he feels happy. I also see myself having a future with him. But I feel wrong trying to pursue a relationship with him. Do we stop seeing eachother till he is legally separated? We agreed on no sexual incounters and are trying to hadle this as responsably as possible. Any advice on what I should do?

[SwingFox]

Hi beyes,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming here with your questions. I am sorry to hear that you are a little confused over all this, but I do understand your confusion.

 

To be honest, I see a very responsible posting from you. You are thinking first and then taking action and I believe that both of you are on the right track. Sure why wouldn't you see each other? I don't see any reason for that. It might be a good idea to stay close friends for now and start something more indepth when you both feel comfortable and ready for it.

 

As far as I am concerned: listen to your heart, but don't forget to use your head. I wish both of you good luck and lots of happiness.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[sisterlynch]

Always remember how painful it will be to the other when they find out what has happened and they always will.

 

Don't listen to them completely as they all have their motives, and will make promises that others will pay for in the long run.

 

Try to keep it all in perspective and remember the feelings of all involved.

 

Ask yourself do I really want this type of attention, and how will I feel about all this in the morning or two weeks from now?

[RobzGr8]

Run...run far and run fast...stop seeing this guy. He is full of S HIT!!! He will never leave his wife for YOU. I know...I was once this guy. I'd take advantage of your feelings...use you for my own sexual needs and personal interests...put you off until I feel like dealing with you, see OTHER women behind your back...I'm a cheater, right? Why wouldn't I cheat on YOU too?!? DUH!! And, I'd generally keep you on the line with, "I love you." "I'm trying to leave her but we have bills together, her grandmother died...she's PREGNANT (HELLO RED FLAG!!), the cat is sick, the toilet's backed up...blah blah blah!!!" And, if you ever complain or get jealous, I'd just say some soothing words, buy you a gift or take you away for the weekend so that you'll think everything is fine...and I won't have to hear this girl complain about my marital situation for a while....and you won't...until you *beep* WAKE UP AND DUMP ME!!! Then I might realize, "what the H ell am I doing? I shouldn't be married if I can stop being with other girls. I should file for a divorce and be single until this gets out of my system." I never got caught cheating...I was good at it...sometimes I'd have up to five different women who all KNEW I was married, but didn't have the self esteem to realize that I was just using them. AMAZINGLY, no one ever called the wife. In that respect they were good. Cuz I'll tell you what...you may want to call the wife and dime him out, but if you do...he'll lie and say soothing words, buy her a gift or take her out for weekend...and smooth it all over...then HE'LL dump YOUR butt for doing that...my advice to you...DUMP him. NOW. And don't take him back...cuz he'll come crawling back to you like you wouldn't believe...but if you take him back, you just reset the clock...and time will be ticking down to the NEXT time he does this to you.