NC for LDR Break up? How can they miss you?

[SweetSeul]

I am just wondering how your ex can miss you if you are in an LDR and you have broken up, especially if there is NC. My ex and I were in an LDR for 9 months but were in a relationship for a total of 6 years. We are currently on NC but still Facebook friends. I would like to keep the possibility of recon open but I don't know how the ex can miss you if they are used to not having you around through the LDR and you are also on NC?

 

Currently I am torn between ending the only form of "contact" we might have left which is Facebook. I have been successful in not going to his profile (thanks to some apps I downloaded online that prevent me from accessing it). On the surface, he still sees us as Facebook friends but his access to my Facebook is limited as he cannot see my tagged photos or anything that has been tagged with me in it. On one hand, I don't want him updated about my life and want to restrict his access to me, on the other, I also want to show that I am okay without him.

 

My ex has admitted to being an "out of sight, out of mind" kind of guy (which contributed to the break up). How can an ex from an LDR miss you if you go no contact?

[Lithp]

While I haven't been in a long distance relationship, I would think it would just be the absolute absence and total lack of contact from each other's lives. When you're in a relationship, even a long distance one, there's constant communication. You talk on the phone, text, skype, etc... and you're involved in and a part of each other's lives on a daily basis. Not having that at all, period, would make them miss you, or at least the part of their life that included you.

 

Just because you weren't physically there for a period of time doesn't mean that you weren't in his life.

[Eocsor]

As has been said a million times before, NC isn't to make them miss you and come back, it's to help you heal without being constantly exposed to the source of your pain. A by product may be that they miss you but theres no garuntee. You may be waiting forever for them to have that happen.

[loulou37]

I also was in a LDR, i origanally started NC to make my "ex" miss me, yes i'll be honest! and i think alot of people on here do the same...after time passes you start to gain strength and NC is no longer about getting the "ex" to miss you.

 

I don't think it matters why you start it because there will come a point where you start to feel better about yourself..you look back and see how long you haven't contacted the "ex" and you think, why even bother contacting them now? too much time has past.

 

loulou x

[Doorgosup]

thanks for topic! I three hours searched in a network for something similar

[purpleberry]

Unfortunately I think they won't. I have been going NC for almost 6 weeks and ignoring his last text messages for a month, until now I have not heard anything from him. The sad truth is that they probably moved on with their new exciting lives and completely let go the past relationship with us. They won't miss us now because everything in their lives now is new and different, especially if they have met new girls.

[SweetSeul]

Unfortunately I think they won't. I have been going NC for almost 6 weeks and ignoring his last text messages for a month, until now I have not heard anything from him. The sad truth is that they probably moved on with their new exciting lives and completely let go the past relationship with us. They won't miss us now because everything in their lives now is new and different, especially if they have met new girls.

 

I think you're right. Out of sight, out of mind seems to be their strategy and is working for them.

[EmeraldFrog23]

I don't know if it's just me but I just broke up with my long distance love and I miss him terribly. It's been a tremendous strain not to call him and tell him to forget about breaking up but I know that it's not the best decision for me in the long run. I still love him very much and it's been a shock to imagine that he will no longer be a part of my future.

We were supposed to meet up in January and every time I think about the plans we had I feel like crying.

 

LDR or not, I cannot simply move on with my life so quickly. I know that when we were together, I would always imagine little details like the last time he held me in his arms or the way he smelled. Maybe that's why I always missed him so much despite the distance and why I miss him so much now.

[purpleberry]

What are the reasons you decided to break up with him? It seems like you are still in love with him.

[SweetSeul]

 

LDR or not, I cannot simply move on with my life so quickly. I know that when we were together, I would always imagine little details like the last time he held me in his arms or the way he smelled. Maybe that's why I always missed him so much despite the distance and why I miss him so much now.

 

That seems natural if the break up is still fresh and the amount of time you had been apart wasn't very long. How long had you been apart before you decided to break up with him?

 

Also, I guess it depends on the reasons you decided to break up.

 

My ex admitted to getting used to the distance between us and eventually liking his new "single" life with me being away which is why I have doubts about him missing me if I go completely NC and cut all ties. We are NC right now but still Facebook friends and his family and friends still keep in touch with me.

[swann]

Funny but it's been 8 or so months for my BU from what started out as living together then going to a LDR then the BU so I guess we kinda did it backwards but I don't know if it's the weather or what but today I have been missing the ex big time. Haven't spoken to her since July. She has moved on and re-connected with an old ex of hers. I have been doing really well recently and not thinking too much about her but today is just one of those days for some reason. I would like to call her but I know it's not in my best interest to do so. And like one poster above stated "after so long what's the point really?" I mean what would I have to say? Do I really want to know what her new relationship is like? Don't think so but I do still miss her and even though I know we will never be together again I do play the "what if" games sometimes.

 

And to the point of this thread, in my case I don't think she misses me. Her only bread crumb to that affect was when she asked for some small items of hers back and I couldn't met her to do so and she said in her email "please call me sometime, I do still worry about you" which I replied "you can call me anytime you like" and of course I never heard another word so that goes to show me how little she missed me right there. Weird how we were so close at one time and then "poof" she's gone and never to return.

 

Anyway, I think they miss you for a bit but over time and distance and no contact we all fade away in one way or the other. Kinda sad but that's the way it is I'm afraid. Chin up and keep moving forward is your only choice.