Do I have a chance ?

[GoneCrazy]

So today I did something that I thought I would never do. I asked a girl out I'll give everyone a quick story. She works at this juice bar that i've gone time and time again, after sometime we would chat it up for a while (if she was not busy) we would joke and all that. So today she was alone the place was empty, and we talked for about 20mins or so. At one point we sat down and talked.

 

I first started off by saying...

 

me: "So do you have a Boyfriend?"

her: (smiles and chuckles)"I just got out of a relationship"

me: "oh thats to bad, was gonna ask for you'r phone number, if thats all right"

her" (smiles)"awww thats sweet...one time this guy came in....."

 

It pretty much changed the subject she told me how a guy came in was being super creepy very old, hairy, gray hair etc etc. We laughed and talked about the random people who come into the place. So after sometime I gave it another shot, since she was closing up and getting ready to close the place.

 

me: "soooo..."

her: (smiling) "soooooo...."

me: "could i get your phone number ?"

her: (smiles ear to ear teeth showing)" I dunno are you worthy ? I mean i'm still thinking about that old dude hehe"

 

We then made a few jokes, and As I said I was leaving she said "so i'll see you tomorrow ?"

me: "maybe"

her "oh you will be here"

 

I smiled, said thanks for the drink and left. So Tomorrow, I might go in their and just say: "hey forget the drink, how about I take you out for coffee?" Would that be okay ? should I do it differently ? or does it sound like she was trying to let me off easy ?

 

Sorry this post is long, and as always thank you everyone

[Notagoodninja]

Ok weird. Did she ever say YEAH and take it?

[figur]

it's hard to say, maybe she's just unsure and wants to think about it a little longer. or she could just enjoy playing hard to get.

if you want to ask her for coffee, do it tomorrow, i think. if she says no, then you can let it drop more quickly.

[DylanNotorious]

I would avoid the juice bar for awhile, just to prove a point that she wouldn't be seeing me tomorrow.

[GoneCrazy]

Ok weird. Did she ever say YEAH and take it?

 

What do you mean ? did she say yes to giving me a phone number ?

 

it's hard to say, maybe she's just unsure and wants to think about it a little longer. or she could just enjoy playing hard to get.

if you want to ask her for coffee, do it tomorrow, i think. if she says no, then you can let it drop more quickly.

 

I would avoid the juice bar for awhile, just to prove a point that she wouldn't be seeing me tomorrow.

 

You both make a great point. I wanna go tomorrow and ask her cause I did today and it's with in that sort time spanned, also the fact that she is unsure or playing hard to get are two very possibilities. And at the same time I don't wanna look desperate by going back the next day. I made a mistake and asker what days she would be working this next week coming up, since I do live about a 30min drive away. And it seems like tomorrow is the only day i'll catch her. :s I wanna do this just right.

[Notagoodninja]

Yeah, did you ever give her your phone number or did she avoid it?

[DylanNotorious]

I dunno man. While I know you really like her and want her number, she ignored the question twice and even compared it to that creepy old man.

 

Plus she asked you whether you were worthy, but the better question is - is she?

[Notagoodninja]

I dunno man. While I know you really like her and want her number, she ignored the question twice and even compared it to that creepy old man.

 

Plus she asked you whether you were worthy, but the better question is - is she?

 

NO KIDDING HAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! talk about a psychotic thing to say............."some creepy old man..." ewwww wth! I think maybe she's young and embarrassed...like 18 young lol

[GoneCrazy]

Yeah, did you ever give her your phone number or did she avoid it?

 

No the impression that I got from her was kind of a teas. The whole time she was smiling and joking, never the less that could be a nicer way of letting me down. I did see her few hours later at a coffee shop she smiled waved hi, I came over talked she was with a male friend so I made it quick and took off had to go home to do some some work.

 

I dunno man. While I know you really like her and want her number, she ignored the question twice and even compared it to that creepy old man.

 

Plus she asked you whether you were worthy, but the better question is - is she?

 

Like the pervious post, she could be unsure. As for the old creepy dude even tho you do make a great point, I did at one point ask if the girls their get hit on cause the are fairly attractive. the whole story wen't when I asked for her phone number it reminded her when that old dude came in, said he wen't to mexico and banged a bunch of chicks ( I hear the ladies love that lol) and then he wen't behind the counter which is an employees only zone wen't back and give his phone number to the girls (it was her and another female co-worker) then he said and this is her quote: "he told as if we texted him in the next 5mins that would be cool, and after words he sat outside his car for 15mins"

 

Also we did then talk about weird customers who would come into the store at both are jobs. Also for the whole worthy thing, i'm 22 never had a GF im on this site asking people what do cause I have NO CLUE, or I thought I did and I was way wrong, hell I could be wrong about this whole thing...I just dunno so it sounds like i'm not worthy

 

NO KIDDING HAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! talk about a psychotic thing to say............."some creepy old man..." ewwww wth! I think maybe she's young and embarrassed...like 18 young lol

 

lol funny we played the age guessing game I said 18 and turns out she is 18 or she's lying about it. She guessed me at 23 i'm 22 close tho.

[Notagoodninja]

Oh wow so she really is 18? If she's only 18 she probably was just shocked and embarrassed and shy you should still ask her out...

[Notagoodninja]

I had a feeling she was young. I was totally dumb like that and naive at 18 if I got attention I'd be totally mortified and say something really DUMB!!

Even now I get mortified when guys show me attention, it really embarrasses me for some reason.

[GoneCrazy]

Oh wow so she really is 18? If she's only 18 she probably was just shocked and embarrassed and shy you should still ask her out...

 

Back to the whole old man thing I was thinking about it and what she said word for word. which was....

 

me: "was wondering if I could get you'r phone number?"

her: "oh thats sweet...this reminds when this old creepy guy, nothing like you,..." she then wen't on about the guy.

 

And yes she could be shy and maybe it was unexpected, or maybe she wants to play hard to get. vSo should I tomorrow (well today) go and ask her out or wait it out give it sometime before I ask her again ?

 

 

I had a feeling she was young. I was totally dumb like that and naive at 18 if I got attention I'd be totally mortified and say something really DUMB!!

Even now I get mortified when guys show me attention, it really embarrasses me for some reason.

 

Really?? I would think you would be use to it and know the right things to say, but then again if it comes out of left field anyone can be left speechless or not know what to say. I also noticed when I talked to her I would keep eye contact but she would keep eye contact with me for a few seconds then look away, look back and look away. So is this a good sign ? or a sign of unease ?

[chitown9]

I would wait awhile before you go back there... .chi

[Rangafro]

Personally I'm leaning more towards the "she's playing you" theory. She probably gets asked out by a lot of customers and had a few boyfriends, even at 18 I think she knows what she is doing. Give it some time if you want, not to leave her wanting or to avoid looking desperate, but to let her think about it and give an actual response. If she avoids the question again consider it a rejection, move on, and be proud you took the risk at all.

[Mayo]

She was TESTING you to see how you'd react. She wants to know if you are emotionally mature enough to handle a little rejection. If you can't even handle that without getting insecure and worrying about it, how could you possibly handle more challenging situations when the stakes get bigger in a serious relationship.

 

The best way to handle these tests is to use humour and tease her right back. In a light hearted flirty way of course. When she brought up the creepy old guy (trying to suggest you were creepy and old) then I would have said "Oh you're into creepy older guys with grey hair, that's cool. I can hook you up with my granddad if you like." Say it in a slightly sarcastic tone with a little sly smile so she can't tell if you are being serious or messing with her head. When she brings it up again just keep making her laugh to disarm her "Oh wow he stalked you in the parking lot for 15 minutes, he sound nice. Definitely a keeper." Again don't say this in a serious way, have fun with it.

 

But you missed your chance now so don't bring it up again.

 

Next time any girl tests you, you need to bust her balls right back.

 

It's just a little resistance to see if you can handle her, nothing to worry about. Obviously if she outright said no thanks then that would be different, but she didn't.

[GoneCrazy]

Here is one other thing that I forgot to mention. Before I asked her out one time I wen't there and asked her to pick a drink for me, she did and I didn't enjoy it much lol. However the next time I came in she made me my drink but would not take money, and I refused not to have freebie, mainly cause I feel bad and always wanna support a business. She told me she felt bad about last time and was not gonna take any money, so I left the money in the tip jar, she told me to take it etc etc but I never did. So does that show anything ? positive or negative ?

 

 

 

Personally I'm leaning more towards the "she's playing you" theory. She probably gets asked out by a lot of customers and had a few boyfriends, even at 18 I think she knows what she is doing. Give it some time if you want, not to leave her wanting or to avoid looking desperate, but to let her think about it and give an actual response. If she avoids the question again consider it a rejection, move on, and be proud you took the risk at all.

 

Playing me sounds right, she's young, had a few BFs and probably likes the attention, and the "game" can show how desperate, weak, or needy you are. My question how long should I wait or avoid the juice bar before I can go back in there and ask her again or get something to drink ? 2,3,5 days, a week longer?

 

Also I think I might have messed up when she said "are you gonna be here tomorrow"..."no" then I asked her "are you working tues, wens, thurs...." But I was joking I hope she didn't take that the wrong way :s

 

She was TESTING you to see how you'd react. She wants to know if you are emotionally mature enough to handle a little rejection. If you can't even handle that without getting insecure and worrying about it, how could you possibly handle more challenging situations when the stakes get bigger in a serious relationship.

 

The best way to handle these tests is to use humour and tease her right back. In a light hearted flirty way of course. When she brought up the creepy old guy (trying to suggest you were creepy and old) then I would have said "Oh you're into creepy older guys with grey hair, that's cool. I can hook you up with my granddad if you like." Say it in a slightly sarcastic tone with a little sly smile so she can't tell if you are being serious or messing with her head. When she brings it up again just keep making her laugh to disarm her "Oh wow he stalked you in the parking lot for 15 minutes, he sound nice. Definitely a keeper." Again don't say this in a serious way, have fun with it.

 

But you missed your chance now so don't bring it up again.

 

Next time any girl tests you, you need to bust her balls right back.

 

It's just a little resistance to see if you can handle her, nothing to worry about. Obviously if she outright said no thanks then that would be different, but she didn't.

 

The whole time I was joking I never got upset, or unhappy with was friendly, positive mood. When she said the creepy old dude then said I was nothing like him, my reply was "oh thats good, i'm just one step down ahahha" something like that. There really is no point of getting worked, jealous, or emotional over someone who I really don't know all that well. Next time I see her I will be more sarcastic. ex. "oh he stalked you in the parking lot, hell thats to much work for me, not really worth my time"....ummmm maybe thats not the best but something like that, however it's all based on body langue, laughing, smiles etc.

[cardoffate]

I would wait awhile before you go back there... .chi

 

 

I agree with him, give it a little bit and go back see where it goes. Where it doesn't seem like your coming on super strong, or creepy or anything, haha.

[Alezia]

Gah, I lost my post.

 

This could really go either way. She could be curious, and would like to know you more before she agrees to give you her number. She'll probably want you to come in a few times again (spaced out over time) and chat her up before you ask her formally on a date. I wouldn't come off so strong and aggressive, as to ask her to "forget the drink and to go on a date".

She could also be uninterested but not creeped out by you. Diverting a direct dating question with a funny story is a known trick to disarm the 'aggressive' person.

 

To me, either directions say to tone down your approach as she doesn't seem naive at all.

[Alezia]

I also noticed when I talked to her I would keep eye contact but she would keep eye contact with me for a few seconds then look away, look back and look away. So is this a good sign ? or a sign of unease ?

 

I would go with sign of unease. While unease can be a good thing when it is combined with intense attraction, in your case you barely know each other - so you can count that one out. She probably felt you were pretty interested in her, and wasn't sure how she felt about you yet.

 

I'd leave at least a good 3-4 days between today and the next time you step in the shop. Mind you, she might not be working, but asking her for her exact schedule is even worst.

 

As for the free drink, I think that it's probably just good customer service. She'd probably do the same for a female who was dissatisfied with her drink.

[GoneCrazy]

I agree with him, give it a little bit and go back see where it goes. Where it doesn't seem like your coming on super strong, or creepy or anything, haha.

 

Thats my thought I don't want to go in the next day or the day after words, then it would look desperate and creepy, I still do wanna show up I don't wanna give her the feeling that I was rejected and took an emotional toll, or that things are awkward.

 

Gah, I lost my post.

 

This could really go either way. She could be curious, and would like to know you more before she agrees to give you her number. She'll probably want you to come in a few times again (spaced out over time) and chat her up before you ask her formally on a date. I wouldn't come off so strong and aggressive, as to ask her to "forget the drink and to go on a date".

She could also be uninterested but not creeped out by you. Diverting a direct dating question with a funny story is a known trick to disarm the 'aggressive' person.

 

To me, either directions say to tone down your approach as she doesn't seem naive at all.

 

Personally I got the feeling of uncomforted that she might be having. At one point another person walked in a customer she wen't to help the customer and afterwords she wen't to the back to clean up. Now I know she has a job, it was closing time and she had to get things done. I felt like it was a blessing for her that she got away out, but I do think you're right she could have been taken back by me asking her out.

 

Now my question is, how many times should I see her and make small chat before I ask her out again ?

 

I would go with sign of unease. While unease can be a good thing when it is combined with intense attraction, in your case you barely know each other - so you can count that one out. She probably felt you were pretty interested in her, and wasn't sure how she felt about you yet.

 

I'd leave at least a good 3-4 days between today and the next time you step in the shop. Mind you, she might not be working, but asking her for her exact schedule is even worst.

 

As for the free drink, I think that it's probably just good customer service. She'd probably do the same for a female who was dissatisfied with her drink.

 

The drink thing I think you're right on about that. As for the work schedule I was gonna goof on by saying are you working "tues, wens, thurs.....are you working mon, tues" etc kinda like a little who says "why" after you answer the question. So I asked her out on sun, tomorrow i'm gonna be in town and I usually stop by the juice bar to get a drink before work (been doing this before I saw her there) So should I go in ? if so and I see her should I just make small chat ? or should I just avoid the place till about fri/sat ?

 

Thanks for all you're advice