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I need to know if my new bestmate is Bi/Gay.

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About me: I am bi-curious/Bisexual, 16 years old, male.

I started college back in September, and made a new group of friends. Meeting this guy called Ben, started the idea of me thinking I was bisexual, I felt differently about him than I have to any of my ex's(All been girls). I thought it was just a little crush, but it's killing me not being his. He is about 6ft2, dark brown hair, with a blonde fringe...I'm going to state factors which make me think he's Gay/Bisexual and factors that make me think he's straight.


Factors that make me think he's gay

1) He hangs around with all girls, pretty much.

2) He had sex with his ex girlfriend, whom he went out with for 2years, however only a few times from what I've been told, which is strange.

3) Good fashion sense.

4) Mostly all his friends are female.

5) He has a blonde fringe, in my opinion is gay.

6) We have a club together at college, which is us watching a film in a dark room, he isn't even meant to attend this club, however does because I asked him to come, usually it is Ben, myself(Ben also), and two friends of mine. Last week neither of them attended, it was just me and him, and he was somewhat shyer than before.

7) He walks camply.

8) He SMS's me a lot everyday, it's strange if we don't talk, and they're always looooong texts.

9) He is strange in what he says: "you'll be mine one day, Ben... One day >=)"," and steal your mouth virginity.","heya gorgeous (;","we were made for each other and you * * * * ing know it." I asked for reasons and he said:

"1, we have the same name.

2, you're so hot, our anal babies would be * * * * ing beautiful

3, you're pickle and i'm marmite which probably tastes amazing.

4, our personalities are somewhat similar

5, i want you and you want me."

10) VERY vain, takes a LOT of pictures...and gay ones too.

11) We've only been mates for 2months, but we're sooo close, and he rang me this evening for advice on his ex being horrible, which made me feel special, as he has mates he could've called which he's known for ages.


Reasons he's not gay

1) He got angry when I asked if he liked this guy called Sam, on the other hand, Sam is * * * * ugly, and why would Ben come out for someone ugly? I wouldn't anyway...

2) He says he likes this girl, but my cousin is he gay, and he had loads of girlfriends before he came out. & had sex with them...


There honestly isn't many reasons why he isn't bi, but they're quite big ones..



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Hmm, this is kind of a tough one. You're at an age where most gay/bi people are not comfortable being out of the closet. Yet, if you ask him if he is gay and he's straight, it may make him extremely insecure/defensive about it.


Does he know that you are bisexual? If so, I think you should let him know and see how he reacts. If he doesn't open up to you, but doesn't look at you differently after you tell him, ask him if he wants to go on a date (make it clear it's a date).

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I would be happy to come out the closet as bisexual, I've told a fair few close friends, but I agree that he may become insecure..


He is always telling me that he "loves" gay people...I think if I told him, he'd have no problem what so ever. If I came out to him and he acted the same, do you think that'd show he likes me? I'm only 16 and not extremely smart..sorry, but thanks for your reply, means a lot

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I think if you came out, he may show that he likes you or he may not. He sounds like a really open guy and if he isn't gay, at least you know he'll accept you.


My gay friends have asked out straight people before. It's always a "sorry, I only date girls" thing and then everybody moves on. You don't have to worry about him being defensive or angered if you ask him out according to your description. So, I just say "go for it". Be prepared to leave it at that if it turns out he's straight though.

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