meowmix88 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 His birthday is tomorrow... I have almost decided just to text him a simple 'happy birthday' message. But my friends told me to call him... because if not, he may think that the door is closed. Of course it is closed, HE closed that door. I don't want to call him, I know he will answer and be polite etc but I don't feel ready to listen to him. And I found out that what he told me about being single, and alone focusing on other stuff is true, He only goes to work and then home (he lives with his family, so he can't have visitors...) I shouldn't try to find this out, I know, but I needed some answers he never gave to me. Everything you feel is completely normal and natural, but take a step back for a minute and relax. The ONLY person who knows what your ex is thinking and how he feels is HIM. Not you. Not your friends and not his family. All of this is just speculating. You don't know how he'd take it if you called or if he would even pick up. All of that is beside the point. The only person you are in control of is you. If you want to call because it will make you feel better, call. If you feel you don't want to speak to him, don't. He broke up with you so it's not about what he wants anymore. If he feels slighted because you did not call, well too bad for him. He does not get to call the shots anymore and you both need to realize that. Also, you're going to drive yourself insane with wondering what's true and what's not. All you know is that he does not want a relationship right now because that's what he told you. Link to comment
AnnaN Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 So... I sent him a simple Happy birthday text and he called me the very next second to thank me. Nothing important, he thanked me, said that he was expecting me to contact him and I was late (6pm). He asked how I am doing, I said fine, he told me he doesn't do anything in particular, actually he sounded like he wanted to talk more than me but I was brief. That was it! Link to comment
meowmix88 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 ... he thanked me, said that he was expecting me to contact him and I was late (6pm). He expected you to wish him a happy birthday and that you were late in doing so? Didn't he break up with you? I know I don't know him or you personally, but this just sounds really egotistical on his part. Link to comment
AnnaN Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 He expected you to wish him a happy birthday and that you were late in doing so? Didn't he break up with you? I know I don't know him or you personally, but this just sounds really egotistical on his part. I forgot to mention he was still at work when I texted him, he never carries his phone around but I guess this day wanted to receive the wishes... He said he is not going to do anything to celebrate... I know... he broke up with me but he said that we had a nice relationship and a nice (!) break up, no fight, no drama, he just chose to be alone, so there is no reason to destroy what we had, the memoey of what we had, with anger or bitter feelings. I don't know if I wanted him to call me. I chose to text him so I would get a simple 'thank you' text. I didn't expect that. Now I wonder if I did something wrong with our conversation, if I could have said something else etc... Link to comment
meowmix88 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 No, what I meant was that he ended things but still has expectations of you, which is not fair IMO. But it's good to hear that you were happy with how things went. Link to comment
AnnaN Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Pffff, I feel really upset after his call. Thinking if I could handle it differently. What if I had said that, or hadn't said this... Link to comment
meowmix88 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 You did what you felt in the moment which is honest and commendable! You can't beat yourself up for being real. Link to comment
AnnaN Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 I did a worse thing,too. I sent him a birthday postcard in his facebook inbox. It had something special on it, depicted the nickname I used to call him, so I sent it to him saying that I had been keeping it for this day. (what a lie, I had just found it). I sent it and then I saw that when he reads it, he will see the previous messages (we never exchanged a lot), they are a few, all saying how much he loved me, at my birthday 2 years ago wishing me to be there and make him happy etc... I wonder if he feels anything when he reads them. Link to comment
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