are girls being scared of commitment?

[chopstixmaster]

my ex and i have been broken up for about 2 months. the first month was easy because we were both at home, but this month has been hard because we bump into each other all the time on campus. she broke up wit me because her mom says she shouldnt be commited right now, and if shes commited to me she would miss out on the other guys. she is really close to her mom and takes what she says to heart. her mom hates me b/c of my race and thereforeeee apparently im not good enough. but the last month we have been bumping into each other and i could tell she still had strong feelings for me. so i ask her out to lunch n stuff, but she makes excuses. i didnt say anything at first, but after talking to her sister who im pretty close with, i decided to talk to her. her sister was definitely surprised by the breakup which came outta nowhere. so i asked to talk to my ex and she came over. at first she was keepin her distance, and it was awkward for the both of us. but soon after talkin it became normal just like the old days. we cuddled and everything we even told each other i love you. i knew she was trying to avoid me because she was trying to hide her true feelings for me. she broke up wit me not becasue of how i treated her or things i did but because of some issues inthe future that no one can predict that her mom scared her with. she didnt want to see me becase it was easier to get through that way, but i couldnt get over her because the relationship between us two ended becasue of an outside factor. the two years we have been together have been amazing. im just not sure what to expect now, i no she still loves me. she says she is scared of being commited b/c she might miss out on someone else( more like her mom sayin it). she says she wants to find herself and grow n stuff like that but how does having more guy firends have to do anything with that. i no my ex wont do nething with the guys but it im scared of the guys takin advantage of her b/c she is innocent and always thinks the best of everyone. i just feel like we broke up b/c of an issue between her growing up from her family and they take it out on me.

[idontgetit]

my bf of 9 yrs dumped me for what i'm slowly figuring out are the same reasons. he keeps getting hassled by his friends that he hasn't been out on the scene and with enough women to settle down..... i guess they won this round.

[prevch]

he'll/she'll come back once they sew there wild oats I am guessing. Same thing happened to me just give them space even though it kills. Let them contact you.

[chopstixmaster]

what about the mom issue?

[prevch]

ultimately what her mom thinks doesn't mean much. She may take what she says to heart but still she will follow her heart

[idontgetit]

i think the mom issue is a bit strange, but maybe her mom dealt with the same thing and regretted settling down too early??

[chopstixmaster]

her mom "says" im a good guy that i treat her daugther very well and everything. so she tells her daughter that i deserve better, shouldnt i be the judge of that? with the mom thing it is more of a status thing. i wont make the family look good or something b/c i am not chinese or white.

[idontgetit]

wait...she tells her daughter that you're too good for her???? that's very unusual. usually, the parents say the bf/gf isn't good enough for their child...

 

as for the cultural issue. i assume she is of asian background if the chinese applies, but i'm missing something on the white...white is ok, but other asians aren't?

[chopstixmaster]

i just feel the mom is indirectly trying to get rid of me, she cant say im a bad bf b/c i havent dont anything wrong. if she says im bad then she would just push her daughter away b/c i havent done nething to be bad. so instead of sayin im bad she just says something else. same goal but just a different route. her ex bf whom she went out with in high school was white and her mom had no prob with him. she in fact loved him to death and when he broke up with my ex her mom tried to get them back together. i dunno if its true but most asians see white people as a higher class. even though im asian she sees me as a lower class asian. i dont know. i dunno wuts rong wit the mom she maybe jeoulous? i just feel she wont let her daughter grow. the mom says shes too young to be commited and she could miss out on the one. the young and commited thing i can understand that, but if nothing is broken then y fix it. if the one comes then nothin will bring them apart. i just feel my relationship with the ex was ruined by the mother.