selfish??

[simon02468]

so i went to a halloween party and hooked up with this guy throughout the night. he fingered me several times and ate me out, but i didnt do anything for him! i am a virgin and have never gave head or anything, so i just dont want to do it badly! does this make me a bad person? should i have?

[midnightdeirdre]

No, it's fine that you didn't reciprocate. A counselor told me that oral sex/fingering/hand jobs/etc are not things meant to be done for the sole purpose of getting something back. It's done between two people who love & respect each other.

[blueidealist24]

No, it's your choice what to do and not to do, for whatever reason. You don't owe him anything, he chose to do what he did to you and shouldn't have just done it to expect something in return.. it's not like he's even your boyfriend, and even if he was, you don't 'owe' him anything.

[DN]

How would you have felt if you had done things for him and he had not reciprocated?

[FathomFear]

No, it's fine that you didn't reciprocate. A counselor told me that oral sex/fingering/hand jobs/etc are not things meant to be done for the sole purpose of getting something back. It's done between two people who love & respect each other.

 

Does that sound anything like the scenario the OP just described? Clearly, if she let this guy go down on her I think it's a fair expectation that she was going to do more than just lay there and do nothing in return. Did she have to something in return? No. It's always a choice, but she should have made her intentions clear up front. If she didn't that's the issue.