volvic1 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 This is just a general question following a recent conversation with my bf!! He thinks that women over think much of what men do, when in reality they don't think that deeply into things! and that by all our over thinking we end up driving ourselves insane thinking they are thinking things that they never thought to begin with? (woah that even sounds confusing) Just wondering if anyone else finds themselves or their significant other doing this?? Link to comment
steve87 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I think it works both ways for men and women. I know I read too much into things and I'm a man! But I guess most guys maybe, perhaps are a bit more laid back? Link to comment
rocio Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Some do and others don't. I would be extremely turned off by a man who made that statement though. Link to comment
volvic1 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Share Posted November 2, 2011 Yeah the context there sounds wrong, he wasn't stating women as a whole, mainly me, after I had over thought something drastically Link to comment
steve87 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 What did you over think? Link to comment
Butterfly023 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 This unfortunately describes me. I ALWAYS do this, my mind is like a ping pong game! Not good, but I do it! Link to comment
journeynow Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 A funny take on this was posted recently in the Relationship Communication Forum: called Her Diary // His Diary Link to comment
JustMe34 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I think some women do including ME! My bf will say something and I always think there's a deeper meaning so I over think it. Unfortunately I think this problem of mine is ruining my relationship because my over thinking always goes the wrong way. Just FYI for anyone who finds themselves doing this STOP! I've tried but I've been doing it so long I don't know how to. Link to comment
livelarge Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I think if I didn't over think things and realized just how little thought goes into other people's actions and words, I would seriously freak out. Some people do over think things. Some people do under think things. It's a matter of finding somebody who can deal with the type of thinker that you are. Link to comment
Celadon Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Oh yes, definitely. But as an over-thinker, I will defend our kind. I think that it's a matter of disclosure. So-called "under-thinkers" may be thinking things, but they have a hard time communicating what they're thinking. It's at an "underground" level for them. Example: Me: "How was happy hour after work today?" Him: "Good. Joe, Jane and Larry were there. We had a few beers." Me: "What did you guys talk about?" Him: "Nothing much." It kind of drives me nuts. It's as though he doesn't have any thoughts or reactions to the conversation, observations about the people etc. His non-communication puts me in the position of having to either ask him a ton of questions, which he doesn't react well to sometimes, or try to get him in a mood to share (like, by my talking a lot and being very disclosing about myself). ^This may be different than over-analyzing a relationship problem, but I think it comes from the same basic orientation. What can we over-thinkers do? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Scenario: Couple have romantic evening together -- all good. In morning, man asks women if she'd like to go to breakfast. They go to breakfast, he drops her off and says, "have a great day." Woman is thinking (over thinking)....why did he want to go to breakfast --- did he want to get me out of the house....he said "have a great day"....does that mean he's tired of me and doesn't want to get together later? Man is thinking: I'm hungry....want to go to breakfast. Drop off ---"have a nice day" --- hope she has a nice day. Link to comment
volvic1 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Share Posted November 2, 2011 Scenario: Couple have romantic evening together -- all good. In morning, man asks women if she'd like to go to breakfast. They go to breakfast, he drops her off and says, "have a great day." Woman is thinking (over thinking)....why did he want to go to breakfast --- did he want to get me out of the house....he said "have a great day"....does that mean he's tired of me and doesn't want to get together later? Man is thinking: I'm hungry....want to go to breakfast. Drop off ---"have a nice day" --- hope she has a nice day. Hahaha this is very funny!! Oh it was nothing major that I over thought, it wasn't even an argument just something simple! But it was a realization that I do over think things alot!! Id love if there was a stop for it, but I dunno if there is, what I do if its going the wrong way is think to myself do I want to ruin this!? It kinda helps!! I do notice with my bf that information can be limited, not in a bad way so much as that he just dosn't pry, maybe im just nosier But ive found that he will just tell me in his own good time and ive learned to live with the fact that he doesn't need the details of a story that I do!! Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I am guilty of it. So when I do it now, I will actually say out loud: Just stop it. What a waste of time. Live in the moment and enjoy. Life really isn't that complicated -- and if you are with a man you can trust, there are not a lot of complicated machinations going on! Link to comment
volvic1 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Share Posted November 2, 2011 I am guilty of it. So when I do it now, I will actually say out loud: Just stop it. What a waste of time. Live in the moment and enjoy. Life really isn't that complicated -- and if you are with a man you can trust, there are not a lot of complicated machinations going on! I like the sound of that!! I have a wonderful boyfriend who i trust and who I know adores me, ill just have to shut down the little factory in my head Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 good luck with that --- they have a union!! Link to comment
Celadon Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Lol!! Thanks for sharing that scenario! That is ME all over. Link to comment
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