marshallmog Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 ok i have other posts read if you want.. been BU 7 weeks now.. NC 2 weeks... know he was seeing a woman he met on a dating site.. so what do i do i pretend to be someone else and start chatting to this new woman as i find her back on the site again.. so the date cant have gone well.. so i start chatting to her and talking about how her dating has been.. she opens up about (the date between my ex and her).. says he was a nice guy but had issues.. i said what issues.. she said BU from girlfriend 6 months ago (lie we BU 7 weeks)... and girlfried on the phone all the time.. ( i havent called him once).. she says girlfriend called whilst on our second date .. thought she was gonna pop in and join us.. ( i didnt call at all)... then says maybe it was his wife.. Well i know my ex and if some woman had called him he would of rejected it if he was on a date.. She then says.. i dont think he was over his ex.. (that being me)... then we talk some more and she says .. dont laugh but when i left to go home after our second date.. he txt me and says he feels he has fallen in love with me and she says she thinks thats too fast.. she said that he said the reason he BU with me was cause i drink alot and she was guessing i was a drunk.. I do drink but mostly when im with him cause he always suggests it and drinks everyday anyhow and he smokes dope... I asked her if she had met his family.. she said yes i met his parents and his sister.. ( this really hurt me as he said he would never ever bring anyone back).. then she said.. funnily enough his dad said to her.. Oh you are normal... and she thought what does he mean by that.. (well obviously he was meaning me which hurts cause me and him got on so well).. but as i recall when i met my BF his dad said to me the same thing.. (i dont get it are they all a bunch of loosing liars)... So now i know that she must of ended it with him on the saturday.. I then get a txt on the sunday from him which was just a joke he sent me.. i didnt answer then i get another txt from him on the wednesday following saying hi hope your keeping well and looking after yaself.. i replied the following day short and sweet yeah im ok hope you are too... It seems that all my hopes of getting back with him are now shattered into tiny pieces cause of what she has told me... I dont understand.... if he is still hung up on me then why tell her he has fallen in love with her and took her to meet his parents... just the same as he did me... Is the last seven years with him all been a fffing lie did he actually mean anything he said... im going crazy here please help.. x Link to comment
Notagoodninja Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 OMFG he's a sociopath like my ex you need to dump him forever and start NO CONTACT back up again read my story ...I was with my ex 4 years....no contact 12 days now...he's a lying, cheating, abusing sociopath I know everyone else will be mad at you for snooping but I don't blame you I'd of done the same thing to be honest, it's a way to get CLOSURE it's a way for you to see what a lying sack of you know WHAT this jerk is ugh! Link to comment
Notagoodninja Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Again I am sorry what a JERK I hate him sooooo much for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
annony Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Oh my goodness! Your behavior indicates that you are not over your ex. IMO what you did was outrageous! Setting up a fake profile to glean info from an unsuspecting stranger? That's seriously unhealthy. I think for your own sake you need to take a break. Focus on what makes you happy, not what's up with your past contacts. Let sleeping dragons lie. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 If you are really intent on hurting yourself keep up this behaviour. It won't do you any good and it will just keep the wound open. Move on and heal yourself. Link to comment
marshallmog Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 yes i know it was wrong but i just had to know... i knew the first part i had to know the ending.. and now i do i just think that everything.. and i mean everything he has ever told me was just what he felt at the time... what he wanted to feel... everything was for his own satisfaction... none of it could of been real.. or it was at the time for him.. hes a bloody convincing liar... now i look back at all the times he has sworn on his kids and grandkids lives that he has not cheated on me and i know he probably has... all the times he said to me.. no woman could ever take me away from you... your my soulmate... i love and cherish you with every inch of my body... was that all lies??? who know.. I never will... please try not to lecture me... i know i have done wrong and i know im a regular Mrs doubtfire.. but i just had to know.. its like being a kid at xmas and its there for the taking if you just wanna take a peek.. thats what it was like.. i have now de activated my FB and deactivated everything else... I dont see any hope for us being together anymore now do you???? or is this just waht all men do to get what they want when they want it x Link to comment
marshallmog Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 ty so much brokenhearted i appreciate that someone else doesnt think im a complete freak... i just befriended her and spoke woman to woman about dates etc thats all i did.. it suprised me that she opened up like she did though.. i had to do it i will read your posts now my love tks again for your concern x x Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 No, I don't think this is what all men do. Don't start thinking that way. I can see why you did that out of curiosity. At least you see what he's really like now. That was some other girl calling him and he blamed you. What a nice guy. Link to comment
marshallmog Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 you have some good points there antigen.. but when i said i drink cause he suggests it what i mean is that he told her he left me cause i drink too much yet all he ever wanted to do when we were together was have a drink so i went along with it just like you would if your other half suggested going to the cinema etc.... im not a drunk but he made me out to be one.. I know it was wrong to snoop .. (I know that).. believe me i do... but it was like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey... I know i need to stop right now.. and I have... i have de activated everything... but what are you trying to say to me... that it does not matter that he told her he loved her after two dates??? why does that not matter i dont quite understand.. it just to me makes everything he ever said to me to be a lie Link to comment
marshallmog Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 red flag to what though antigen your thoughts on this are greatly appreciated cause atm i cant see the wood for the trees x Link to comment
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