How often you do what you want to do vs. what your s.o. wants to do?

[Celadon]

Just curious. How do you guys end up choosing what to do on a date with your s.o.?

 

I tend to have more ideas on things to do, but i don't want to always be pushing my ideas. I'll offer them, usually but not always, so he knows what I'm thinking.

[LDRohnos]

Whenever he mentions an idea for a date always tell him it's a great idea even if it isn't. He'll be more confident about himself and will offer up on ideas more regularly. If you tell him that is the stupidest thing you've ever heard and there's no way I'm doing that chances are you'll hear less ideas from him.

[Pinnacle]

I'm not the biggest fan of apple picking, however my girlfriend loves it and I went with her. It was fun, different, but I wouldn't be the one suggesting it again in the future. I'd go again if she wanted to and I didn't have anything THAT important going on.

 

Reversal. I wanted to watch game 7 of the world series instead of party (go me?) and she wanted to be in her costume and have a night out on the town. I watched my game, she went with her friends. Loved the decision I made.

 

Realize that it isn't about my thing vs his/her thing. Don't go anywhere or do anything out of obligation. Do what you want to do and if your partner wants to do the same then great. If not, then it just wasn't mean to be and try it again another day.

 

Also, don't lie. Telling someone you like something but you don't will be caught on pretty easily. Body language says a lot. My girlfriend last year for Halloween was Eve and she wanted me to be Adam. She REALLY pushed it. I went as a piece of bacon. Not a fan of the couple stuff like that.

[annony]

almost always. the only time he and i don't want to do the same thing is if one of us is too tired to go out. We are both very active and outdoorsy people, so as long as we are able and well we like to be outside. When one of us gets sick it's like pulling teeth trying to get the other one to sit on the couch watching movies.

[petite]

We usually go with what whatever is more fun and depending on our mood. We enjoy various activities and have many interests and even those we might not like as much we go just for the entertainment sometimes. Sometimes you have to compromise and give in too.

[Celadon]

I appreciate the suggestion to be encouraging about his ideas. I want to do what he wants to do sometimes, not just what I want. Sometimes he's not passionate about what he wants to do though, so I need to learn to hold back. I want to benefit from his suggestions.

[Fudgie]

I think if he's not that "passionate" about his own ideas, don't offer up your own at all when you want him to choose, just tell him "It's your night, let's do whatever YOU want. You decide!" Maybe let him know a few days in advice so he can have some time to come up with what he wants to do.

 

I think I'm rather lucky here because my boyfriend and I have largely the same interests so all dates are something we both want to do, but it's food that gets me sometimes. We both like all the same foods AND restaurants, but sometimes have different ideas on where to go. I want Indian, he wants Italian. What we do is "switch off". I pick one night, he picks another, then I pick, then he picks, etc. Just have to remember who "picked" last.

 

I think for the most part, I like to let him decide.