loulou37 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 hello friends... had to come and post here today, it's day 11 no contact for me, i felt not too bad the last few days, feeling i've accepted the break up then today i feel sh@t again. Feels like i've been punched in the stomach and back to trying to block thoughts of him and telling myself, he's lost out on something special.... How are you all coping with things..what are your coping strategies? thanks loulou x Link to comment
notimeman Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Its the 3rd week for me. Its been tough, I won't lie, but you come to realize that they had serious flaws, too. They're just as responsible for the end of the relationship as you are. If you constantly remember the good in them, of course you won't get through it, with every good thought you need to think back to what they did wrong. It'll be a hard journey regardless, one that will probably last for several months, but you can get through it by keeping yourself busy and putting yourself out there. After 3 weeks I know for certain that I have the confidence to attract women again and that is an uplifting feeling, even if I know I won't go into any relationship. Good luck, I'm (we're) here for you if you need me (us). Link to comment
loulou37 Posted October 29, 2011 Author Share Posted October 29, 2011 Its the 3rd week for me. Its been tough, I won't lie, but you come to realize that they had serious flaws, too. They're just as responsible for the end of the relationship as you are. If you constantly remember the good in them, of course you won't get through it, with every good thought you need to think back to what they did wrong. It'll be a hard journey regardless, one that will probably last for several months, but you can get through it by keeping yourself busy and putting yourself out there. After 3 weeks I know for certain that I have the confidence to attract women again and that is an uplifting feeling, even if I know I won't go into any relationship. Good luck, I'm (we're) here for you if you need me (us). Thanks for replying, you're right, it wasn't just me, it was him too. loulou x Link to comment
mecastillo1987 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 This will probably be hard to hear but... Day 11 of NC is nothing. It is yet to get crazier and crazier as time progresses. (My situation: Almost 2 months since BU, and Day 26 of NC) I've never been THIS depressed my entire life. I couldn't function properly and even contemplated thoughts of suicide. (That bad.) The aggravating circumstance being that the BU was my fault, and I was feeling really guilty about losing the man I love most. No Communication is a big help though. I used to have a calendar where I'd strike out days, but now I don't even bother. I know it will work to my advantage eventually. In months? In years? Who knows? All I know is, in time, I will heal. I might just have to grit my teeth, sit on my hands, and bang my head against the wall a couple of times -- but I know I will heal. Acknowledge your feelings. You will hurt. You will be angry. You will be okay. Then you will be back to feeling more depressed than ever. And the whole cycle will drive you insane. But remember, pain is weakness leaving the body... All this happens for a reason. Healing is never a pleasant ride. But you will get there. Also, work on yourself and gain back the stronger version of you. Just yesterday (After almost TWO months!) I was finally able to sit in a restaurant alone. Everyone on this forum would say moping around and feeling sorry for yourself will not get you anywhere. And I know it's difficult. But no one else can help you but yourself. You are all you've got right now, and if you won't budge, nothing will happen. You'll be stagnant and chances of getting your ex back/healing will be slimmer... We will all heal eventually. Trust in time. Link to comment
Aleina2011 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 I feel exactly the same as you. I feel slightly better during the week but weekends are really hard. I am setting myself small goals and I am taking it a day at a time. I have quitted FB, got rid of his things (we lived together), I spend a lot of time on here I have accepted that it's over and although you can never kill the hope, I have (I think) accepted that the best thing for me is to let go of him. I think I would be feeling much worse if I was spending my time making plans to win him back. Instead, I only have to fight negative thought, which is hard in itself but at least I know that I can only feel better and time is on my side. I have accepted that there are going to be days when I feel I am in control and days where I will be depressed once again. For now I am trying to allow myself to be a bit selfish and lazy. But the most important thing is stop negative thoughts. During my relationship I was very insecure and I kept comparing my situations to that of other couples (their bfs seemed more committed than mine, they did things, they got married, they made plans together etc). Now, as a single person, I want to avoid falling in the trap of thinking that I will never find someone else, as this can only make me feel worse. I tell myself that there is nothing I can do about it, I can't change my situation so why should I make myself feel more miserable than I already am? On top of that, I want to use this time to better myself so that I will not ruin my next relatioship with my insecurity. Stopping negative thoughts and becoming a more positive person is part of my healing process. This is what I am doing. It doesn't always work, but I am trying... Best of luck. A Link to comment
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