Help!! SHould I telll him what I did?

[preoccupied]

I have been with this guy for 6 years, but the past 4 months have been going downhill, the last 2 months we have slept in separate bedrooms. 2 weeks ago I told him it was over for good. He has an addiction to legals highs and gambling and we were going nowhere.

 

I meant this, although I also hoped the shock of us being over would open his eyes and he would actually get help and stop. If this had happened there was a chance in my mind of us getting back together. I knew I had no control over however.this.

 

That was blown out of the water yesterday when I found his computer and he had left his facebook open. Turns out he's slept with 2 other girls in the past two weeks and has lied to me over the past year about who one of these girls is (he said his brother's ex, she told me she was his ex!)

 

So last night I spoke to this guy, I just clearly stated I knew he'd slept with two others, that I had spoken to each of them and that I wanted him to keep completely out of my way at home. I told him how I knew (that I'd seen his facebook, not that I'd found his computer however).

 

Today he'd left his computer in the same place so I looked again. This time he'd left his email on but was logged out of facebook. SO I changed his password on facebook to see if either of the girls had been in contact with him.

 

Now I feel stupid. I have a place to move out to and need to just get on with my life. I won't go near his stuff again.

 

BUT SHOULD I TELL HIM I'VE CHANGED HIS FACEBOOK PASSWORD? HE'LL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH WHEN HE TRIES TO LOG ON, SHOULD I TELL HIM BEFORE THIS? I can't work out which is the best.

 

PLease help!!!!

[Airbag]

Why should you? He's a real * * * * !

[RedDress]

Do you fear for your safety?

 

If the answer is 'yes' - don't tell him. He'll figure it out anyways.

 

If the answer is 'no' - I would tell him. What he did wrong in the relationship and in life is irrelevant. You did something wrong and you should tell him. Sinking to other people's levels would make us all snakes. Be the better person.

[emma j]

Its only facebook. Not something detrimental to his life.

 

I wouldn't tell him. Serves him right. Just get your stuff and move out..

[preoccupied]

Thanks all, I was in a panic because like red dress said, I felt I'd put myself down on his level..... However I didn't tell him and I looked again last night. One of the girls has messaged him saying "I haven't told her the full story, I was trying to protect you". Silly cow, the full story doesn't matter, I already know enough. He is a total Pr**k.

 

Now I need to ensure my compassion and caring doesn't mean I listen to his story. He sent a text this morning after our landlady asked him if he would be staying or moving out too. He wanted to know if I'd told her everything (I have given her the outline because she really didn't want me to leave - we have a great relationship) I told him she only know the basics - then I exploded at him on the phone I was so ANGRY! Then after that I felt really bad for shouting (cos I am ultimately a gentle person). I want to just walk away with my dignity intact n not stoop to anything low but when I feel angry I almost can't stop myself. I feel so vitriolic towards him I want to hurt him 10 times more than he's hurt me!! How do I deal with that and make sure I don't act in a rash way when I feel like that?

 

I have a place to go to and am moving out on the 19th. He's sent me a text saying he's keeping out of my way, coward! I really feel I would benefit from screaming like a banshee in his face and why shouldn't he face the wrath of my emotion? - ON the other hand I want to keep my dignity.

 

How do others handle this?