yeh

[lonly112000]

im fed up with tryin as someone told me why dont i give in im fed up with puttin all my strength into fightin it im gonna lay down and let my self sink slowly into it i mean how do we know what it feels like to die and the way i see it death is the most wonderful gift of all you have nothin left to worry bout nothin but time and darkness and well thats pretty much what i got now cept for it aint always that way when i see people lookin at me weird because i aint dressed just like them or when i hear someone cuss me under their breath or when the one person that i thought would always be there for me left me to be alone why oh why would i chose to stay here why cant i except the fact that i aint never gonna have nobody that will stay on my side and then i could just move on to what had to be done like all these people around me wouldnt have to look at me anymore and they wouldnt have to tell me i dont belong in their town i could leave now but i cant run for ever i got to stand tall and face them but then i get kicked out of another school because once i start i take out all the pain trapped inside and i cant stop i hit them and i dont mean to keep hittin them but i cant stop till my arms get tired and feel like bricks and im afraid one day i will go to far and this voice inside of me is tellin me to do it end it it aint nothin to it you got what you need pull it to your throat and let it slide let all your problems end why not there aint nothin stoppin you and then i tell it to shut up and ill pass out and wake up feelin worse and all this pain all the screams i hear in my head they actually make me give up all hope of ever livi a normal life and i see the light at the end but every time i take a step it gets dim tell me is this hell were livin in if so hevans got to be better but if were hell bound whatever it dont matter

[lilsuthurncutie]

i v u

[PAdreamer]

Something to think about: If killing yourself was really the answer, you'd have done it by now. You wouldn't have come here seeking advice. You know it's not the answer, and I think that you know that coming here is an attempt to find another way to deal with all of this. If you're here, then you don't really want to die.

 

And that makes me happy, to know that deep down you don't want to die. Deep down you still believe that there's something else that can be done. Just remember that.

[xtra]

Hey man, if you're really only 12, then trust me life gets a lot better.High school gives you more freedom and there's always someone who has your interests. If you don't feel the need to live then just imagine all that youll be missing. Family, high school, friends, starting your own family. Man, your life just began.Don't talk like that.You've hardly lived.Just go out, have fun, do what you enjoy and if other people don't like you or side with you then forget it you don't need em.Just wait til high school or until you find yourself a girl. .....much love

[thisisnotanexit]

i agree. there's no way you can know how the rest of your life is gonna be right now. you're only 12. chances are, with allll of that life you're going to live, you're going to meet someone like you, a gf, be somewhere where people accept you, etc. there's happiness and i promise you can find it. don't give up so easily, it's not worth it to kill yourself. please trust me, i've been there. im 19 now and if i would have listened to myself when i was 12, i wouldn't be here now. i'm so glad i didnt do it. and dont let what others think affect you so much. you're you and that's good enough. you dont owe anyone anything. if they dont accept you for who you are, screw em. one day you will find people who are good to you. be strong man, youre a cool guy and dont have to deal with other's treating you like that. things will eventually happen for you. take care man and please msg me if you want..peace

[lonly112000]

i just dont understand like every one has got a chance at makin somthin of their self and i havent its like so stupid and gods so good and loves every one...yeh right what about the guy that comes back from the war and he aint got a house to live in and then the government oh god their even worse the guy comes back got no house and they deny him benifits the guy in iraq is on a secret operation and dies his family is also denyed benifits for what our country aint got the money yeh right

[thisisnotanexit]

you do have a chance just like veryone else does. you just have to believe in yourself and how much control you really do have in your life. dont give up

 

and as far as religion goes, this is how i feel

 

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

 

"With all this in mind, when God allows us to suffer some great sorrow or hardship, and we see no immediate reason for it, let us simply continue to trust Him, as Job did, putting it into the context of His creating us for some divine creative purpose which we shall someday "know even as also (we are) known" (I Corinthians 13:12), and so that "the trial of (your) faith, . . . though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ" (I Peter 1:7)."

 

god has not left you, he is right there beside you through all of this. just tust in him and have faith that he will bring you through all of this, and you will feel the comfort of his love. you owe it yourself to live and feel the joy that this life can bring. things are hard right now, iknow, but we cannot have good without bad. you will see the joy of life one day soon if you just stick around.

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

 

"If you are a suffering believer, the second biblical certainty from which you can draw great strength is the knowledge that God is suffering with you. He is not the "unmoved Mover" of Greek philosophy. He is not an unfeeling Being oblivious to the pain of His creatures. Nor is He a capricious Allah who carries out His will with no feeling for those who suffer. On the contrary, He is our loving heavenly Father. He hurts when we hurt. The psalmist declared, "As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust" (Ps. 103:13-14).

In reviewing God's dealings with Israel, the prophet wrote, "In all their affliction He was afflicted . . . ; in His love and in His pity He redeemed them" (Isa. 63:9). The Old Testament prophets repeatedly pictured God as delighting in blessing His children and as grieving when they must suffer.

 

The truth that God hurts when we hurt did not find full expression, however, until it was revealed in the person of Jesus Christ. He is Immanuel, "God with us" (Isa. 7:14). He, the second person of the eternal Trinity, became a member of our humanity. He suffered everything we can suffer. He was born in a stable, a member of a poor family. He grew up in a humble home in a small village. He worked as a laboring man until He was 30. He didn't have a home during His 3 years of ministry. He was resented by His half brothers. He was rejected by the Jewish people to whom He came. He was misunderstood and misrepresented. He was mocked. He was falsely accused. He was betrayed by a close companion. He was forsaken by His closest friends. He was scourged. He was forced to carry a heavy wooden beam on His lacerated back. He was nailed to a cross. And even as He hung on it, He endured the taunts of mockers.

 

Why did He do all this? Couldn't He have paid the price for our sins without going through all of this humiliation and abuse? As far as we know, the answer is yes. His death on the cross, not his pre-Calvary suffering, atoned for our sin. It seems that He underwent all this added pain and humiliation for two reasons: to reveal God's heart (2 Cor. 4:6), and to become our sympathetic high priest (Heb. 4:15-16). God had always hurt when His people hurt. But He did so in a real, tangible manner through the incarnation--through the event that began in Bethlehem.

 

Are you suffering? Are you grieving? Are you disappointed because you are going to die before you can realize your plans and hopes? Be assured that God cares. He hurts with you. He doesn't like what you are enduring any more than you do. He could intervene and heal you instantly. But if He were to do this for you and every other person who is suffering, no one would have a need for the kind of faith that builds Christian character. thereforeeee, He allows you to suffer. But all the while He, like you, is looking forward to the time when all human pain will be over.

 

J. I. Packer has stated this truth eloquently: God's love to sinners involves His identifying Himself with their needs. Such an identification is involved in all love: it is indeed the test of whether love is genuine or not . . . . It is not for nothing that the Bible habitually speaks of God as the loving Father and Husband of His people. It follows from the very nature of these relationships that God's happiness will not be complete till all His beloved ones are finally out of trouble . . . . He has in effect resolved that henceforth for all eternity His happiness shall be conditional upon ours. Thus God saves not only for His glory, but for His gladness (Knowing God, InterVarsity Press, 1973, p.113).

 

Just as a good husband suffers when he sees his wife in pain, and loving parents feel the distress of their children, so also the Lord hurts when you hurt. And He won't be completely happy until you hurt no more."

 

choose to live, because you're worth. people out there care about you and so does God. take care and please message me if you want.

[thisisnotanexit]

feeling helpless every now and then is pefectly normal, but don't let suicide take over. yo'ure better than that and things can get better, dont give up

 

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

 

I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

 

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

 

Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

 

 

 

Start by considering this statement:

 

"Suicide is not chosen; it happens

when pain exceeds

resources for coping with pain."

 

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

 

 

Don't accept it if someone tells you, "that's not enough to be suicidal about." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

 

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

 

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

 

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

 

 

1 You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

 

2 Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

 

3 People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

 

4 Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

 

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

 

Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans

Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.

Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999

Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line

Call a psychotherapist

Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen

But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

 

5 Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

 

 

Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.

 

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

 

 

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.

 

Now: I'd like you to call someone.

 

And while you're at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.

 

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to see the rest.