PurpBlurp Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Hey, I'm PurpBlurp and I'm new to this forum, I hoped I'd get some answers for my question here, rather than taking my problem to Yahoo Answers, unrelated forums or god forbid, 4chan. Well, I'm gay, closeted and I am... in love with this guy in my tutor class at school. Our tutor class isn't in every lesson so don't be mistaken, he is, in my mixed group where we have media lessons like art or music. We used to talk quite often a couple of years ago but we didn't talk for a while since then. We hardly talk now. I might say the occasional thing to him or back him up in an argument. Even still, I've found myself attracted to him, and I've never felt this way about someone before. I'm not sure about his sexuality. His main circle of friends is girls, but his two BEST friends are guys. He is often a bit like a stereotypical gay guy, acting camp, etc. Then again, so am I sometimes. He doesn't mind pretending to be attracted to a guy or even play a gay guy in a drama lesson. He will often give me the occasional smile. Sometimes he might say, 'Alright?' if I walk past him. He is... incredibly skilled at PE (or, Gym), and his centre of guy friends seems to be the other people who are talented at sport. Unlike some of the others in his centre of friends, or people who are like him in general, he is very friendly, whereas the other people can be total... idiots and unfriendly and threatening to people like me. Sometimes, I will look at him for a long amount of time, he will notice, but I'm not sure as to weather this means he was looking at me because he was thinking 'Why're you looking at me', or not. Still, I try to talk to him more, but I never find good reason. What should I do, please answer! Thanks so much. By the way, how long is it until a thread has been bumped and needs to be closed? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 welcome to enotalone. since you guys have a friendly rapport, why not ask if he wants to hang out after class or something? wait - one question - is this guy your tutor/teacher or is he your peer? if he is a teacher, he probably is not allowed to get involved with a student - you can get him in big trouble!! but if he's just a peer, then i would suggest offering some activity that you two can do together, and see where it leads. Link to comment
PurpBlurp Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 That would be alright, but I still think we don't talk ENOUGH and it might be weird. And no, he is NOT my teacher! All teachers at my school are disgusting except for a few but no, it's one of my peers, thanks for the reply. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 That would be alright, but I still think we don't talk ENOUGH and it might be weird. And no, he is NOT my teacher! All teachers at my school are disgusting except for a few but no, it's one of my peers, thanks for the reply. There's nothing wrong with asking him to hang out for something casual. If anything, you'll gain a new friend. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 i would try inviting him along to something that would naturally appeal to him, in a friend sort of way, and see what happens. for instance, since you two are in drama together, maybe if there is a play in your community, you can approach him about the subject like, "oh - there is a play i want to go to, my friend Stacey is in it. did you want to join me?' i mean, not to sound stereotypical, but if a guy is into drama, he just might be gay! granted, there are lots and lots of straight men who are into drama, but well - tons of gays too!!!! Link to comment
Wager Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 What is the nature of the tutoring? Is that the art and music element? I appreciate why you think it might be odd to ask him over to your house, but asking him to an event related to art or music (or whatever the tutoring relates to, or even a sporting event if that is what he is interested in) might be a better, more structured activity to begin with, with a definite start and end. Good luck to you! It does sound promising. Wager Link to comment
PurpBlurp Posted October 2, 2011 Author Share Posted October 2, 2011 i mean, not to sound stereotypical, but if a guy is into drama, he just might be gay! granted, there are lots and lots of straight men who are into drama, but well - tons of gays too!!!! Haha! That made my day Well, you actually do have a good point because a couple of weeks ago at the start of the school year, our Drama teacher asked us who was interested in doing GCSE Drama and only a select few of us put our hands up. Two good friends of mine (guys), and the guy I like So I was thinking YES YES YES Thanks for your reply What is the nature of the tutoring? Is that the art and music element? Yup, all subjects which fall under 'media arts' category. The exact list off the top of my head is... ICT (Computing) Music Art Reigion Citizenship (Preperation for Working life, like an expansion on religion.) There might be more which I can't remember. We have mixed groups for Design and Technology as well, he's in mine. He could be in more of my groups, but I'm in the top ability groups for... well almost all of my subjects - except PE He's more the lower end... maybe the group under me. There's six groups for some subjects. Thanks for your replies, I'm glad I've finally found a forum with some intelligent people who can share valid opinions and arguments Any more input? Link to comment
Wager Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 ICT (Computing) Music Art Reigion Citizenship (Preperation for Working life, like an expansion on religion.) There might be more which I can't remember. We have mixed groups for Design and Technology as well, he's in mine. That is quite encouraging! It gives you many options for picking an event to invite him to. My suggestion, for a couple of reasons (plausible deniability if it turns out he is not interested in you in that manner, as well as just doing something fun for yourself), is that you go to whatever it is you have asked him to join you in, whether or not he comes. Best of luck, and let us know how it all works out. Wager Link to comment
PurpBlurp Posted October 2, 2011 Author Share Posted October 2, 2011 That is quite encouraging! It gives you many options for picking an event to invite him to. My suggestion, for a couple of reasons (plausible deniability if it turns out he is not interested in you in that manner, as well as just doing something fun for yourself), is that you go to whatever it is you have asked him to join you in, whether or not he comes. Best of luck, and let us know how it all works out. Wager Thanks, it's Monday tomorrow and he's in 3 of my 5 lessons tomorrow excluding our tutoring period! I'll try and talk to him more tomorrow, I've tried before and I'll try and visit the place where he usually hangs out at lunch tomorrow. I'll also look for an event or something to invite him along to if we get talking again. Thanks for your input guys, I'll fill you in on what happened tomorrow. More input is still welcome Link to comment
PurpBlurp Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 All right, well I can't edit my previous post so I'll have to double post. Sorry. I only just got home, so I can remember the day better. In tutor time, before the main 5 school lessons, he was late. He looked at me and smiled a bit halfway through. He started talking to one of my friends, so I went to my friend and started talking. The other guy, the one I like stopped talking to him though. Things got more interesting throughout the day. I almost forgot to say -_- him and one his girl friends called me over waiting outside computing, and become I'm closeted, they both said I should go out with one of the girls I was talking to. I swear I came this close to telling them both I liked him... In our first lesson, computing, he sits a few computers away from me. Our teacher thinks we work better when we're sat Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl, e.t.c. He often talks to his friends who are girls around him. He will often be fun and bubbly, and get in trouble with our teacher for talking. I didn't speak to him at all throughout that lesson. Next lesson which was cooking, we were making a fruit or meat cobbler. I heard him say in tutor time 'No, of course I'm not making a fruit cobbler, you know what I'm like with fruit!', so I tried to work near him, but my "friends" who can be total idiots, worked near me so I had to keep my distance. While I'm at it, I've started making friends with one of his girl-friends (friend who is a girl) so I can maybe talk to her more to start talking to him more. Anyway, he often finishes first in D&T, he works with one of his best friends who is a total boffin at D&T. I had to ask him where a lot of equipment would be put away. I've noticed other people ask him, and he would point to the cupboard or shelf where the equipment would go, but with me he would often put his hand on my back and point, which is pretty cool but probably doesn't mean anything. I went past where he usually hangs out at lunch, twice. I had no reason to talk to him or any of his other friends, the first time he was with a bunch of girls, I was too nervous to go and talk to him, and, I didn't have a valid reason. Second he was out on the field playing sport, I've noticed boys take their shoes off when they go to play sport on the field at lunch time, which is rather strange... Final lesson with him was Citizenship. He came in like 2 minutes late, he was dripping with sweat! that was smokin' hot! I think this was the lesson he noticed me more in. However, he wasn't very talkative. He would often just not pay attention to things around him, he wouldn't even turn around when the teacher yelled at the person behind him. Towards the end I was putting some equipment away and he leaned on my shoulder to show something to someone next to him. I think he is a 'touchy' person, but he conceals it. If I get the chance to talk to him, should I 'touch' him more and see how he reacts? Thank you! I'll fill you in again tomorrow. I'm gonna try to be more out of my shell! Any input? Link to comment
PurpBlurp Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Came out to one of my closest friends today, she was fine with it. Phew! Anyway, it takes time to build a friendship with a guy like this, because I've actually never seen him without friends around him. Usually for about 30 seconds when we're walking from one lesson to another he'll walk near me but not speak. I should really start speaking to him during that time, it's gonna be a bit weird if I start hanging around with him and his friends but yeah. I've started touching him more (not in THAT way -_-) he hasn't really reacted to it, but I'll see what it's like tomorrow. I only have one lesson with him - Dance. How should I speak to him, should I talk to him while his friends are around or should I catch him on his own? Link to comment
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