Try remain friends and hope for a change or do NC?

[Jyebo]

Hi

 

Broken up with ex of 2.5 yrs for 6 weeks. Still friendly, both still love each other, broke up because she felt like things were too routine and weren't getting better. She wanted to sort herself out and be alone. She's not thinking about being in a relationship with anyone at this stage. She knows how I feel about her and I've told her that I think we can overcome this, as I've had some time to think about what actually went wrong and realised the problems. She knows that I want to get back together with her. She said she's content at the moment on her own and that if were meant to be together then we will be. We havn't had much contact.. When we do see each other, things feel pretty good, not uncomfortable, i'm not begging or pleading or an emotional basketcase.

 

 

MY QUESTION IS

 

Is it better to keep in contact, remain friends and be hopeful that she will change and we can get back together?

 

Or tell her that it is too painful seeing her like this, that I love her too much to just hide my feelings and that I wouldn't be able to move on to other women if I kept seeing her?

 

I hope you can help or just offer your opinion.

 

Thanks

[daredevil]

I did the last thing with my ex.. told her we could not be friends becausre i just wanted to "forget" it... then she did a lot of swearing and such and got totally mad.. and then we did not talk for 2 days.. .but the fact was i would much rather have her as a friend and such than just loose her.. love her too much to do that.. So I pleaded her to forget my act of lamenes.. and she acceptet and today we are talking as friends.. and i still love her, but i dont show it.. im justthere when she needs it... she has not found a new man or anything else, so whpo knows what the future brings.. im the person i always was.. changed a litle for the better.. and that is perhaps good and besides the last things shows her, that u are not strong enough to handle it.. thereforeeee keep her around a good friend is always good to have,.. and still if u want her back, this also gives you the opoortunity, but perhaps u should do a little NC in order to get u emotionally ready for a friendship...

 

Best regards Daredevil.. ;-)

[rich46]

MY QUESTION IS

 

Is it better to keep in contact, remain friends and be hopeful that she will change and we can get back together?

 

Or tell her that it is too painful seeing her like this, that I love her too much to just hide my feelings and that I wouldn't be able to move on to other women if I kept seeing her?

 

I hope you can help or just offer your opinion.

 

Thanks

It's always a tough one this isn't it???

 

I've told my ex that I can't stay friends with her, although I really wish I could. After 3.5 years together, she needs to be alone for a while, to have noone to answer to, etc. She wanted us to remain best friends but she would lead me on by saying "There's always hope" or "I bet we do end up back together." Basically she wants me to wait around until she has finished her clubbing phase, and I think she wants to get off with other guys while she is still young (22). Well I couldn't stay in touch while she did that. By the way, we live about 100 miles apart.

 

Still friendly, both still love each other, broke up because she felt like things were too routine and weren't getting better.

A poor reason if you ask me. Do you honestly think there is a chance of you getting back together? Is she stringing you along, keeping you as a back-up in case she doesn't find anything 'better' in the near future?

 

Only you can answer that. It really depends on whether you can handle being just friends with her. I know I couldn't with my ex. How can I be just friends with someone who I feel so strongly about? It would kill me if she met someone else in 6 months and I'd been dragged along during that time.

 

I hope I've helped a little, but only you can decide if you want to just be friends. Be warned though, it could drag on for ages as there would be no incentive for her to get back with you, i.e. having her cake and eating it.

 

Good luck,

 

Rich

[otrebla]

My advice is NC, I tried to be friends with my ex, first date it worked, although I couldn't hide my emotions in the end and I tried to kiss her

Second date was a drag, She acted quite indifferent towards me.

If your ex doesn't know what is missing, she will know for sure when the one thing is missing is you!

Women tend to get bored with long term relationships, they hate routine and look for adventure, if you don't give it to them they find it somewhere else but let's hope they come back.

[slw1]

I tried to be friends at first,she met another guy ,I wanted to kill him,it tore my heart out.When she realized I was hanging out with her in the hope that we could get back together ,she stopped calling me.

 

I have been doing NC for a month,she no longer sees that guy.