I might not be straight. Can't decide.

[Adam277]

actually I been feeling like this to .I been very interested in the opposite sex for like 13 years and one day I woke up and It just seemed i wasent seriously attracted to woman anymore.I know im not gay even though I pass guys on the street I do get these gay thoughts that go through my mind like damn that guy is good looking.I even get sexual feelings.its like the most depressing feeling ever.because I want to feel straight not gay.and I know im not gay even though I feel this.except I masterbate looking at woman because I dont want to get anymore of these gay feelings on my mind that I already have.im depressed over this.& just wish I could get over it.been feeling this way for 4 years now.I was reading somewhere I forget where but.the best way to get over these feelings is to stop masterbating as well as stop watching porno I been trying to stop but Im just to addicted.& the more I do masterbate or go to porno the worser I get.I think I need to stop everything that im doing and start a clean and non perverted life I think...the last 4 years have been the most confusing years of my life.im not sure if im straight or gay.but im 100% im straight even though I have these feelings for guys.I also dont love myself for who I am which could be some of this problem that im facing.also im not sure if its gay thoughts I have or just jealousy of other guys.hopefuly theres someway I can get over this its making me very confused and depressed sometimes also I feel like a man in a females body lol.I want to feel more clear headed and do what I want to do in life.its like satan has taken over my brain & hes causing me to feel gay.anyhow takecare & have great day

[FoxLocke]

I just read the entire thread and I don't think you're gay. Many women get turned on and aroused by the thought of two women having sex...So why can't a "straight" guy get aroused by two men together? I imagine, more than not, many straight men who pretend to be disgusted by the idea have thought of two hot hunks having sexual intercourse together...

 

I agree with someone else in the thread(sorry I forgot the screen name!). Don't make it such a head game. There are varying degrees of sexuality. I happen to be on the gay end of the spectrum, but you might be somewhere near straight but not all the way...It is that way with many people.

 

So don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just be you, pretense is just irrelevant. =0)

[Cyberchick]

Hey there,

 

I posted this in another topic, I hope you are able to get into it. The fact that you have ocd, and that now you are feeling these doubts about your sexual identity leads me to believe you could have homosexual ocd. Is it the same type of anxiety you have been feeling as what you felt with other ocd forms you have? It's a very common form of ocd and alot of people who have hocd have a history of other ocd. Check out the thread.

 

 

 

I have hocd, though it's under control now. One thing you need to do is to refrain from seeing reassurance as to whether or not you are straight or gay. You will NEVER be satisfied with the answers you seek and find because the ocd will just cause you to doubt some more. Answers will just breed more questions, and with the questions, more anxiety. So try to resist coming on here with questions like " Today, I felt like this with a man or a woman. Does this mean I'm gay? " The minute someone says yes it makes you gay, you panic and think it's true. The minute someone says no, you're straight, you will feel happy but before long you will say " okay, but what about when this happened? " See what I mean... reasurrance just feeds the monster.

 

If it is hocd ( it sounds like it, from your post ), you will have to neutralize yourself to thought of being gay so that the thoughts no longer produce anxiety. That's the hardest part, is being okay with the thoughts, because all we want is an absolute, 100% confirmation of our straightness or gayness. It's difficult for you to accept the fact that we can't know FOR SURE we are one or the other. We might be a little of both, but ocd only allows you to think in black and white.

 

Those of us on the forum want to help, but it's totally useless asking you questions like " Do you really see yourself having sex with a man? " Or " Ask yourself x about yourself? " " Listen to your gut " Or when people try to give you rational evidence about your sexuality. OCD does not respond to rationale, it is irrational in nature. YOu can't ask yourself simple qustions to get answers, ocd will not let you. It is these questions and doubts that produce the anxiety. You have to stop asking yourself the questions and stop looking for logic. I'm telling you, it won't work. And we cannot feed this monster by giving you reassurance.

 

I'm not saying don't turn to us when you are upset but I would try to not to come on here checking with people if something makes yougay. You are harming yourself.

 

I say get in with an ocd specialist who knows about hocd. It will help.

 

Read my post and if you need to talk, send me an email. Take care.

[fluffy_girdlebuns]

Would it be such a bad thing if you were gay? Im bi myself and I understand you are young and are worrying about your sexuality, but remember that, no matter what your sexuality is, its only PART of who you are, and you sound like a very normal, healthy young man to me.

I bet if you talked to your male friends, and the subject of being gay came up, there would be at least one of your male friends (if not ALL of them) that have questioned their own sexuality, and probably many of your female friends, too. Its a normal and healthy part of self-discovery. I knew at 7yo that I was attracted to girls as much as guys. I hope this helps you to understand yourself a little better.

I wish you all the best in the future,and no matter whether you are gay or straight, you are YOU and cannot be defined purely by your sexuality.

Cheers,

Fluffy G

[Tigris]

I agree with everything my Fiancee fluffy_girdlebuns has said.

 

It's taken me 30 years and 2 marriages to accept that I've been a Lesbian in denial all my life!

 

Don't label yourself and don't rush into making decisions after one relationship. You'll know what sexuality you are when the time is right.

 

Good luck and take care

[boybornbad]

You're not gay

[FoxLocke]

Give me a woman any day. Can you imaginge goin 4 a candlelit dinner and a stroll on the beach with a bloke???

 

Just because it didn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.

[Tigris]

I agree totally FoxLocke.

[Imaginary]

This thread is like a year and 8 months old, guys...

 

I'm sure he's probably figured it out already.

[jameschedham]

well really i wouldnt worry theres a big difference as runesoul said beetween being gay and excited about a mans penis!when i was about 15 i was in the same situation as yourself and its probally just a phase your going through,

 

jameschedham

[unsuregem]

In my opinion you may not be gay but somehow you tend to have a fetish for the penis. I think you should seek a psychologist to help you decide which ground you are on. Do what makes you happy & not what pleases others.

 

All the best

[boybornbad]

Yeah Fox I know it can work for other people but my point was that from reading his posts it doesn't seem to me that it will work for him. The emphasis in his messages was on the physical side, specifcally naked inages of men. I was simply trying to empasise that there is so much more involved in being gay than simply being aroused by a picture of a penis.

[nmbrc193]

i am in a similar position i always masterbate to women i have tried lookin at men and they dont arouse me. but alot of time i have gay thoughts that i cant get rid of eventhough gay thoughts dont arouse me i think about it all the time and i dont know why... its weird. then i think to myself man youre not gay if women turn u on. but then i think that im in denial. i hate this. i wish it could b like high school wen all i thought about was women. i know how you feel bro dont worry youre not alone

[BlkLagoon]

I really think you should see a psychiatrist so you can have help analyzing these things. A person usually knows when they are gay or not, so I would say if you're confused then you're probably not. I think the OCD is managing to seep into your life in many areas and that's really what you need help with. Until then, what does it matter if you happen to be perhaps bi-sexual, but don't actually practice gay sex? A lot of people are attracted to the same sex, or just body parts of the same sex. That's why porn is so popular! Doesn't mean all of those people are gay. You may become excited by the visual aspect, but I really wouldn't worry that THAT makes you gay. A lot of other things would mean you are, and I really don't think there would be that much confusion. You'd know.

[nmbrc193]

this is weird but i had a gay dream about 2 months ago and ever since then i feel like im goin crazy. i deffinetly have HOCD. i know girls turn me on but sometime i feel so much anxiety and i fear im gay. ill zone out during conversations with people over this. and this fall im gettig promoted to manager at my workplace i have to beat this. and i have a girlfriend who i love and i dont want her to find out about this. i emailed a therapist a week or two ago and he told me to call him and talk i am going to call him on monday. thank you so much for your help everybody my mind is clearer than its been in the past 2 months it all makes sense now

[nmbrc193]

thank you cyberchick for posting that site it has really helped me

[Charles II]

Penis envy does not mean you are gay. I have been turned on by the sight of a horse's * * * *. Lots of straight guys are more turned on by gay porn (both guys with guys, and girls with girls) than by straight porn.

It's been said that we are all potentially bi-sexual, only most of us never explore both sides of the street, or at least not on a regular basis. I wouldn't be bothered about it. It's all good, just some's better.

[Rizby]

Dudeguy,

 

there are many gradations of being gay running the gamut from purely sensual and physical to the more emotional concept of homosexuality.

 

It's most likely that you are straight, but have certain gay fetishes. Since it's so difficult to be gay, I'd advise in your pursuing a straight existence - it's less complicated. Don't try to figure out now - let things play out and you discover yourself...

 

R