I want to remove these stupid feelings and be apathetic...

[soru]

I'm hurting like hell right now. I've been broken up with an ex for about 5 months now after a 15 month relationship. There has been off and on contact from each of us since. most of it has been her just trying to reach out and try to selfishly keep me as a friend even though she left for her just getting over me. She's lead me on, doing stupid things that put me in the gutter, but expects me to continue to cater to her needs whenever she wants it, and it turns out that I fall for it every time hoping that its perhaps a sign that she may want me back.

 

Just the past weekend I sent her a text message exclaiming how much I've missed her and whatnot and that this whole situation is so damn one sided and that I need to stop talking to her, and she brought up the idea of sitting down for a cup of coffee one day this week to "seriously talk about things". So i send her another message asking her "when?" and she never replied back, and guess what? She then BLOCKS me on Facebook?

 

So she leaves me high and dry like that, and blocks me. Last night what do I get suddenly? A text message from her. "Are you busy tonight?" Of course I assume its her finally deciding to chat about things, given thats where we last left off. So I reply with a "Yeah, but i'll stop by in a little while." No reply back from her.

 

Times passes and I finish my homework. I head up to her room to see what she wanted, and she answers the door and awkwardly says "hi" to me, covered in makeup. The only damn thing she wanted was to ask me to attend her fashion show that was according to her "so amazing" and "awesome". She basically just wanted me to know she was doing great and to rub it in my face.

 

Like she IGNORED my text asking for the time of the meeting for us to talk, and then unexplainably blocks me on FB, and EXPECTS me to see her stupid show?

 

I've never met such a messed up, self centered, selfish person in my life. It was like she wasnt satisfied until I knew about this thing.

 

I'm really beginning to feel negatively about her. She's used me so much. We both go to the same college, and its small. I will see her around. I want to move on and forget these feelings. I can't believe she feels like she can do whatever the hell she wants to me. My emotions. I won't give her another second of my life. She doesn't deserve it does she? I have these strong feelings, and I need help getting rid of them. I also want some insight on her stupid behaviour and what can help me feel better....

 

thank you

[Tigerfan]

No she doesn't deserve it. I had an ex like that once and they will put your through the wringer if you let them. She seems completely self absorbed and doesn't care about anyone else's feelings. The sooner you can let go of her in your heart and mind the better you'll be. Don't respond to her at all if she is gonna play you like this. Be forewarned: the more you ignore her, the more she will up the ante to get you back in the "game". Just remember, it's just a game and an ego boost to her to have you at her beck and call.

[Lithp]

I've never met such a messed up, self centered, selfish person in my life. It was like she wasnt satisfied until I knew about this thing.

 

There is your answer in a nutshell. She does not care about you one bit - she's only concerned about herself. She keeps 'reaching out' to you because you're accepting it and going with it, instead of doing what you should be doing and giving her the middle finger and going along your own way.

 

If she contacts you again, remember this. She's not doing it because she wants to get back together, she's doing it because you're there and willing. Don't fall for it, it just satisfies her need to feel like she has something over you. If she texts you, ignore it. If she adds you on Facebook, don't accept it. If she tries talking to you, be polite, but don't engage in conversation unless it's to say "Hey, I'm doing amazing. Couldn't be happier. By the way, have you met my beautiful new girlfriend?".

 

You need to move on because you deserve to. You owe it to yourself. You've taken enough crap from her and now it's time to focus on YOU - isn't that what she's doing? Anytime she reaches out to you, laugh at it, because it truly is ridiculous and you are better than that. Now you know what she's doing you can stop fooling yourself that she wants you back and start living your life without being a prisoner to her wants and needs. Start living for you.

[solong123]

Be thankful she blocked you, she's doing you a favor. Move on with your life, you don't deserved to be played with. She's stringing you along so that when it's convenient for her, she can have you. She doesn't deserve you, and you deserve to be in a better place than you are right now. People that block other people do it for a reaction or because they are cowardly. Recognize how immature this truly is, and start getting out there and meeting better people. I know it'll be hard but the best thing you can seriously do is just not speak to her. She won't change and you will continue to feel like crap until you completely cut her out of your life for good. You're in college. Live it up and meet new people! I promise there are girls out there that do not act like this.

[arrakis77]

I also want some insight on her stupid behaviour and what can help me feel better....

 

You already said it yourself. She's entirely selfish and completely inconsiderate of your feelings. You must focus on yourself, healing and taking back control of how you feel. How? Ignore/block her COMPLETELY. By maintaining any level of contact you are only prolonging your suffering.

 

Heal yourself by focusing on your schooling, hanging out with friends. Take up a new hobby and get off campus when you can. Meet more people and I guarantee you will find someone more worthy of your attention.

[beacon]

Anger is your friend right now. I've had a very similar situation with her trying to string me along and throwing out the crumbs. I'm trying to be productively angry by harnessing the power it (and ALL of these other emotions) can bring and using it to make me the greatest thing since pants with pockets. This must be done... you just have to be able to control it.

[soru]

Thanks for the advice guys! My anger and disbelief towards this person is really beginning to replace those loving feelings I used to have. But now I just feel pessimistic about dating. And its hard for me to be totally attracted to another girl because I just feel like the same thing is going to happen to me again. I so badly want a loving and caring person in my life, but nobody seems interested in me in that way which is a big downer. I'm a handsome, fun, and sweet guy. I have pursued a couple girls since i've been back to school, but the amount of effort it takes for them to give me any mind just makes me want to give up as I'm tired of being the one who puts all the effort into everything. I'm just searching for someone who can make it better for me again...I want it so badly as this loneliness and depression has been going on for too long. Friends help, but they don't necessarily cure it permamently...