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I know that we are supposed to accept ourselves as we are

Ivory_Tower

By Ivory_Tower
in Personal Growth

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Ivory_Tower Proficient

Ivory_Tower

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What is it about yourself that you have trouble accepting?

 

I would say a number of things, but the situation is made harder because other people criticize things that also make me me.

 

I have trouble accepting the fact that I'm an uptight person. I like to plan things ahead of time. I have a hard time relating to people my own age. I get along better with younger kids or adults that are much older.

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90_hour_sleep Experienced

90_hour_sleep

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hey ivory,

 

i can't speak for you...but i know for myself that i've been conditioned to believe that i need to add to who i am in some way, shape, or form in order to feel truly acceptable. i trace much of this back to being socially (and by that, i mean by any outside source of which i am implicity a part of) bombarded by images of what it means to be successful. like...if i could just add this or that...i'd somehow be more me....you know?

 

it's a bit of a spiritual question to me almost. i dont' really know who i am...so i've created a mind-made self to compensate for that. unfortuantely...it's an impossibly unrealistic image that i've created of who i think i am (or should be)...so i never really 'get there'. i'm always striving towards something that doesn't really exist. at times, i've been so invested in maintaining that creation that my life has been entirely about going through the motions. and it's funny...when i really stop and think about that i realize how silly it is. it is silly. i think it misses the point altogether. and beyond that...it's a recipe for unease...unhappiness...restlessness...whatever you'd like to call it.

 

i think what i'm saying is that i've made it very difficult to accept who i am right now...because the contrasting image of who i think i should be is so unattainable. i've rejected who i am right now by pursuing who i think i should be. you know?

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penelope13 Rising Star

penelope13

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I'm not entirely sure what you mean by 'uptight', but that is something that I would consider is a behavior that you currently display, but it doesn't define you as a person; i.e. anything that doesn't define your 'core values' is something that you can chose to change about yourself, if you don't like it.

 

Do you really feel that if you were not uptight anymore or if you would be able to relate to people of your own you would not be yourself anymore?

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Ivory_Tower Proficient

Ivory_Tower

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I'm not entirely sure what you mean by 'uptight', but that is something that I would consider is a behavior that you currently display, but it doesn't define you as a person; i.e. anything that doesn't define your 'core values' is something that you can chose to change about yourself, if you don't like it.

 

Do you really feel that if you were not uptight anymore or if you would be able to relate to people of your own you would not be yourself anymore?

 

Yes. I say uptight meaning for example, if friends go out partying, I want us to have a cab if we are drinking and a ride back, etc. I try to take Vitamin C to keep my immune system up and I like to go to sleep at a reasonable hour...etc

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Deciduous Explorer

Deciduous

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Yes. I say uptight meaning for example, if friends go out partying, I want us to have a cab if we are drinking and a ride back, etc. I try to take Vitamin C to keep my immune system up and I like to go to sleep at a reasonable hour...etc

 

Sounds like your a responsible person, who likes to cover all the bases. This is who you are. This how you like to do things.

 

If the world were like you everything would be planned to the nth degree and would be fuctioning correctly and on time. The trains would never be late, buildings would be built to schedule, and the credit crunch would never have happened.

 

If the world was like me, things would be done at the very last minute in an all fired rush of action and adventure. Great fun but the execution would a little unreliable at times. Still maximum enjoyment would be had.

 

Do you get why the world needs both of us?

 

We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. Our little ways, quirks and habits. Once you begin to accept those traits, you find yourself playing to your strengths more often. Surely the world can only benefit from that. The ying, yang and soup different personalities.

 

Be proud. You take of business. Your friends can endlessly rely upon you. You come through, you take care of safety. You sound like a great person to have around.

 

Deci

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catfeeder Grand Master

catfeeder

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These sadly are the same "friends" that I watched cheat on their boyfriends last weekend. They seem to only find fault with who I am

 

Why stick around to be a punching bag for people who feel so lousy with their own lives they'd stoop to deception and disloyalty?

 

It sounds to me like your choice of friends could be the problem with your self-acceptance. If you lower your bar to allow cruel people into your life, then it's awfully hard to like and admire the person who'd put up with that.

 

It doesn't require drama to phase people out, and you'll likely thank yourself sooner than you believe--especially when you start enjoying the person who'd care enough for herself to do that.

 

Head high.

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