jr19 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I am kind of confused here. I have been dating a girl for about a month and we were crazy about each other. Texting and calling everyday and we both acknowledged how we were falling for each other. Things were moving fast especially the physical part of the relationship. There were no signs of slowing down. We spent the entire weekend at the beach and had a great time. When I dropped her off at her house on Sunday night she said she had a great time and gave me a goodbye kiss like usual. That same night we texted each other until we fell asleep just like we always did. In the morning I sent her a good morning text before I went to work but she didnt respond the entire day. It has been four days and I have sent her a few casual messages but she has ignored them all. However, her facebook activity has been normal posting things throughout the day. I have no idea how to go upon this. She seemed very interested in me and we got along great. I have called her and left a short voicemail asking what the problem was but have received no response. What is she trying to do and what should I do at this point? Link to comment
In the Dark Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I'd say let her message you next. If she doesn't then she is not worth your time. Sucks for you because you were enjoying what you two seemed to have and she appears to have stop keeping in contact without reason. There will be a reason. But the typical coward will just not reply. Find someone else. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 That's just so rude. Really. After a month of dating? Clearly she's checked out. I'd stop contacting her, and if she gets around to responding, I wouldn't jump on a reply. Link to comment
Blondiegirl Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I know how you feel mate. People change there is nothing you can do about it. Maybe they thought they liked you and you went through that honeymoon phase where everything was great and then things fall apart. It happens been there done that one. Maybe she met someone else and isn't exactly taking you out of the picture just yet. Relax and let things happen if it's meant to be it's meant to be Link to comment
lalalollipops Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Maybe just maybe she wants space? I mean if you guys are always talking and seeing each other, a month of it straight would get alil tiring imo. Just give her space lol and if she doesn't contact you after a week, then just let it go. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 IF, and I mean IF, there's a legit excuse for this she'll get back to you and let you know. But it's not looking so good at this point. Do nothing - just move on. You've reached out enough and it's likely she's just being a coward. Link to comment
jr19 Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Thanks for all the replies. Yeah im not going to chase after her, it just really surprised me because she was really into me and it was right after we had such a great time. There wasnt a fight or anything like that. Ill just wait it out but her ignoring me kindve killed the spark Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Thanks for all the replies. Yeah im not going to chase after her, it just really surprised me because she was really into me and it was right after we had such a great time. There wasnt a fight or anything like that. Ill just wait it out but her ignoring me kindve killed the spark It really sucks when people do this and reveal themselves to be cowards. It happens to the best of us, but good for you for not chasing! Link to comment
jr19 Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 If she doesnt get back to me after a week should I call her out on it or should I just let it go. We have a quite a bit of mutual friends so I will run into her at some point in the near future Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 If she doesnt get back to me after a week should I call her out on it or should I just let it go. We have a quite a bit of mutual friends so I will run into her at some point in the near future I would let it go. You've called her enough times, ball is in her court. For whatever reason she isn't responding, but it's up to her to sort that out with you and reopen the lines of communication on her end. When you run into her just act cool and polite no drama, no scenes. Honestly, if you don't go chasing, there's a better chance that she will get back in touch with you (not that you will want to hear from her by then, just sayin.). Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I wouldn't call her out, hard as it will be to resist the urge. Here's the thing - if she's this douchie to go MIA on someone she's been dating for a month, then anything you say to her will fall on deaf ears, as she simply lacks the class, grace and compassion to care to begin with. Sometimes we speak loudest when we say nothing. Link to comment
tresqua Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 She obviously didn't look at this past month the same way you did. If she was to post about it, she'd might very well write "I've been seeing this guy for a month, things are going ok, but I'm not sure how I feel about him, especially since he's a bit pushy when it comes to being physical. I think I'll give it one more weekend and if I don't feel it I'm just going to blow him off". Link to comment
Stay_home Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 She's blowing you off, clearly. People are just really "funny" like that when it comes to dating. The thing about it is, you don't always know what you're walking into and what else they have going on before you met them. She could've linked back up with an ex boyfriend, met somebody new, anything.. Link to comment
nresteiner Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 This recently happened to me with a girl I'd been dating for three months. She stopped replying after I'd reached out several times. Haven't heard from her in over a month. It sucks when this happens, but at least you found out early. Not that it makes it any better but if there's one thing I've learned, it's to look on the bright side. Link to comment
jr19 Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Thanks guys for the replies, here is an update She ended up texting me yesterday but just small talk. She didnt mention anything about ignoring me. I didnt text back until later that night when I had been drinking. bad idea I know. I was with friends and we came to the conclusion that she was trying to decide between me and another guy. Well that idea made me angry so I ended up calling her out on it. She just replied Idk im scared. Later on I said you dont have to be scared I dont want a relationship with you. That really ticked her off and she sent me an angry text saying so you only want me for sex. dont swoop to that level. pathetic. and so on I honestly didnt think it would have upset her that much but it really affected her. I still havent replied back from her angry text because I dont really know what to say. Does she still have feelings for me or does she just want to string me along? And I dont want to end it on a huge fight Link to comment
jjcool00 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 She's scared... she either doesnt know what she wants from this or doesnt know what you want from this and that scares her. She doesnt want to get too involved if she doesn't know if either A. You're gonna stick around or B. She's going to stick around. Typical situation when things move too fast. Best to give her space and let her figure out what she wants and it seems like you could use the space too to figure out what you want. You say you don't want a relationship but it seems to be that you clearly want something from her, which you should figure out what that is exactly. The space will be good for both of you but if you do decide to move forward slow things down a bit get to know her and let her get to know you so she's not so scared anymore. I know its hard to slow down but it could be as easy as not spending everyday with her, not calling or texting all day long, dont make any serious plans, etc. Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 why would you say that? You said it to get back at her for ignoring you. Being selfish will get you nowhere. Now she's pissed. You've hurt her feelings. Happy? now you both are even. But the situation is worse. Now you've put more doubts in her mind. I don't think you really like this girl anymore...don't play games..if one person plays, it's bad but both parties playing games is the end of it all. I really don't know either what you can say to her now..ask yourself: why did you say that...and did you mean it? Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 So, you and your drunk friends decided that she was seeing someone else, so you decided to get hostile on her through text, because you were pissed she ignored you. Awesome. Then, after accusing her of that, with no proof, you then tell her that you didn't want a relationship with her anyway. I'd say any further analysis is futile, as this is pretty well done, IMO. You reacted really badly and were purposely hurtful, and I wouldn't accept that if I were her. It's odd that you are worried if she likes you or is stringing you along, when you don't seem to appreciate the impact of your careless and mean comments. Yes, she was totally wrong to ignore you, but the things you said are unforgiveable. Link to comment
Shakeybones Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 DUDE, you gooned it! hard lol.. two things ive learned, never talk to a girl drunk or stoned unless you both are on the same level lol You had the upperhand with her not responding, because you could have not responded to her texts, and she would have started wondering about you and that would have spoke volumes. This!!! killed your chances depending on the girl "I dont want a relationship with you" idk if you can save it, if you can kudos. Link to comment
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