Having a tough time you guys...

[soru]

3 months post breakup from a 15 month relationship. Is that too long for me to be hurting? I've been NC for about three weeks now, and even though she was the last one to contact me with a pointless text message that I ignored, it still sucks miserably. I was doing alright for a while, but then it just hit me again and now I'm feeling lonely again. What's even more daunting is that I will be seeing her in a couple weeks once school starts, as our campus is small. Me deciding to go NC, I'm sticking by it. But it hurts. Silent tears often go down by face as this feeling emptiness and loneliness hit me from time to time. And yeah, I'm out with friends and doing things. I just want comfort from fellow ENA members, and to remind me that what I'm doing is the best thing to do. I really did love her the best I could love, and she left out on me. One day cuddling with me in my bed telling me she loved me, only to break up with me the next day...When I needed her most at that. Words of encouragement and comfort would be greatly appreciated because this is again becoming hell...

[LaKings55]

I hear ya. I have the same feelings from time to time, and I'm 6 months in. Somedays I couldn't care less, other days I just want to drive off a cliff. Hang in there

[Mustachio]

Silent tears often go down by face as this feeling emptiness and loneliness hit me from time to time.

 

From time to time. I bet immediately after the breakup it was most of the time if not all the time. Thats progress and you probably dont even realize it.

 

Just keep doing what your doing and you will be fine.

[soru]

From time to time. I bet immediately after the breakup it was most of the time if not all the time. Thats progress and you probably dont even realize it.

 

Just keep doing what your doing and you will be fine.

 

Thanks Mustachio! Like many people, I wish there was a sure way of just getting over them. But its a very difficult journey for me. I am making progress. But its taking longer than what I would like haha. There has been some bumps in the road during this path to forgetting her

[bri427]

its been almost 2 years for me...there has been many set back and plenty of push forwards. id like to tell you "yeah ull be over her in no time just wait" but love dont work that way and our hearts heal in the time they want. what i CAN say is...when your to the point im at, ull look back and realize how far you have came. the memories wont hurt as bad and ull be thankfull for what you two shared rather than be angry its gone. love is not a certian thing in life and its one of the most complicated things to try and figure out haha. but trust me..ull do some healing and eventually ull get there dont give up and remember ull have that feeling again.

[Oneironaut]

As Mustachio said, "from time to time" IS progress...and just think, soon enough it will be "on occasion", and then, "rarely", and then, "wow, almost never!" Seriously, the day will come when you wake up in the morning, start your routine, and then get all the way to work or school and realize, "Holey cow, I haven't thought of my ex at all!" That's when you'll know you're almost there.

[LP90]

Soru, im right there with you. I was in a 2 year relationship and in the end i got cheated on and lied to for months. The pain is inevitable, so dont try to hide it. The best thing you can do is let it all out in whatever form you need. Ive been broken up and NC for 2 months now and trust me when i say itll go MUCH faster than you expect. I didnt think id get past day 1, then week 1, yet im on month 2 already. There will definitely be set backs, there will be lonely and empty days, but thats just part of a relationship unfortunately. My first 6-7 weeks actually went by really quick and overall great. Now week 8-9 im feeling extremely lonely and empty again even though im with friends and going out every single day. Its just the way it goes. You have to stay strong and take 1 day at a time. If today was bad, look forward to tomorrow to make things better.

[lemsip]

The last two days I've felt pretty good and it scares me. I'm just trying to enjoy it until the crash comes again, because it will.

 

Edit: That's not me being pessimistic btw, I just know how this works now. I felt good before for a few days then BOOM.

[soru]

Thank you all! I have made progress. Before I was a complete wreck. At least I can accept, despite how badly I don't want to. I'm just worried about the next three weeks when I see her at college again. Its almost scary. It feels better to know that I'm not the only one whose going through this and the words of encouragement is helping a lot. This whole NC thing just has me wondering if she even thinks about me. If everything I did for her (which was a LOT) was forgotten so easily. It just hurts. I know I'm stating the obvious and repeating what hundreds of other members have already been saying, but it does make me feel like total crap. I don't ever really blame myself for the breakup. I just question "WHY" did she break up with me? Its like I know gave her so much love, passion, and shown these things instead of just saying "I Love you". I SHOWED my love instead of just saying it. Actions speak louder than words. I guess just the fact that she didn't care anymore in the end despite all that sucks. Knowing that you were no doubt the best they had thus far and put so much stock in them is whats shocking me and hurting me

[soru]

Wow I found out that my ex spoke to my best friend asking him why I'm not talking to her right? Despite her telling me to leave her alone?

 

He said to her that its because he cant handle being around you and his emotions cant handle it, and she was writing out this long response on the chat, but erased it and replied with an "I guess". He was even confused and thought she was contradicting after that and just signed off of FB and left it at that.

[yankeefan74]

You need to tell your friend that you don't want to hear about what she has to say. If she has something to say to you, or talk to you about, she can contact you directly. Then, you can decide whether you want to respond or not.

 

Often, when someone says they want you to leave them alone, and you do, they find that they actually miss the attention. They wonder what you're up to you. This can sometimes lead to them slingshotting back to you, but it's pointless to place any hope in that or to wonder what she might have meant in a conversation with a third party.

[soru]

ARGH feeling down again. In two days I will be seeing her at school. She's close friends with one of my roomates too...The other day she called me, and was wanting to be friends with me, but I told her I can't. She doesn't seem to understand that its not a matter of me getting OVER the relationship and being friends then. Its just that I dont even want to be friends with her because I fear it will open up my wounds. I love her and she broke my heart. Destroyed me. I don't want to be reminded anymore. I just want someone to come and save me from this pain. Someone who actually love me and care for me. I don't want to become disillusioned and pessimistic about dating altogether like many people. I was so loving and thoughtful. I feel like I'm a great catch too. It angers me. Its like shes selfish enough to try to keep me as a friend when she decided to leave me. Know why? Because I explained to her that I can't be friends with her, but she just doesn't understand. She's done other things that hint to her still having feelings? But I don't even care about subtle hints anymore. Until I hear a "I want us to try again" or some other variation of that, I dont want to know what she's doing or anything else.

 

I'm going to be nonchalant. Friendly nonchalant towards her if I'm forced to interact with her during school. She deserves nothing more. I want the pain to go away...