My Turn :)

[SethSLC]

I see what you're saying endy, and I think you're misinterpreting some things. Yes, I do still have feelings for her, but I don't see her as it stands as a potential girlfriend. I am not chasing her currently, and don't feel that I have for the past couple of weeks. I don't plan on being emotional at all, and haven't been even a tiny little bit for the past few weeks. Is she worth chasing? She's worth a lot but she isn't worth chasing at this point so I haven't been. Tests? Maybe, but then again maybe not. I'm not looking for any kind of tests coming from her and if she does interact with me I keep myself light and cheerful and nonchalant. (Of course it seems different on here because here where it's private I vent all the junk out of my brain)

 

Red flags? Ya that was a big one. It was the catalyst for me to stop trying or even thinking of getting back together with her. If you notice I said I wasn't asking for tips or guides towards that end but rather just how to put my best foot forward for me, not for her.

 

As for the games, well, I love the games and atmosphere and I go every season. It happened unfortunately this year that during the time we signed up for tickets together (so the seats are next to each other) we were dating. We didn't exactly see this coming. But I wasn't about to let her prevent me from going. I know a week of NC isn't anything, I was just throwing out there as an example that I don't feel like I'm chasing her that except for once last week, once 2 weeks prior to that, and once a week prior to that ( so 4 or 5 conversations over the course of 6 weeks with 0 contact at all in between ). I wasn't trying to tout that as any kind of milestone or anything, hell it's going to take months or longer of never seeing or talking to her before any milestones are reached.

 

Was just saying that I was going to the games come hell or high water, and given that she wanted to go as well and hang out, what the best option was in order to go yet still have a good time. I have been dating since she bailed BTW, I just have chosen to keep it on the down low.

 

I like your thoughts on the independence thing. I will need to give that a lot more thought over the evening.

[CMS]

Got it. That was my line of thinking (this time I'm not going to tease her about her body or looks though...once burned) What about flirting / hitting on other girls in front of her? Is that ok? I mean I don't want to watch her turn around and do the same in return though

 

See it this way, she is just another friend that you are going to game with. Lets say if you are going to game with some friends, would that prevent you from hitting on other girls if the opportunities present itself, just don't go out of your way to make her jealous or go out of your character too much because it will backfire. Be yourself but also indifferent to her presence will be the way to go, you are there to have fun. If you can bust on her or tease her it also shows that you are not affected by her and she is not on a pedestal.

 

Generally, just relax, lean back and have a good time

[SethSLC]

See it this way, she is just another friend that you are going to game with. Lets say if you are going to game with some friends, would that prevent you from hitting on other girls if the opportunities present itself, just don't go out of your way to make her jealous or go out of your character too much because it will backfire. Be yourself but also indifferent to her presence will be the way to go, you are there to have fun. If you can bust on her or tease her it also shows that you are not affected by her and she is not on a pedestal.

 

Generally, just relax, lean back and have a good time

 

This is my goal. I asked all of this because of what Endy pointed out, that still having feelings for her complicates being around her. Like I said she isn't about to make me miss these games, or rather I won't let her. So I needed a reminder of what it should look like when I am around her and you've given me great guidelines. Thank you

[endy]

yeah I just thought basically it was too soon to be doing anything with her. I know I wouldn't want to do it with one of my ex's if I still wanted them back etc... I guess I was putting myself in your situation more. If you can handle it all the better. I think if the goal is to get back together some day... you shouldn't be going that's all. You know what you can handle though. If you feel you can handle it, it isn't going to bother you if you see her flirting etc... then by all means go ahead. I do also agree with cm on the above. If you're going to go, you're on the pedestal, and what she does... and I mean ANYTHING should not effect you.

[SethSLC]

3 hours together, beers snuck into work and so far so good. Done exactly like was suggested and it's been a really good time so far.

[SethSLC]

Went really well from what I can tell. We both had a great time. I followed the advice here and I think that's what allowed me to have such a great time. And now it's back to putting her out of my mind until the next home game in a month. Thank you to Endy and cmswiftly.

[Tigerfan]

So you were pretty cool to her? Treated her like a buddy and such? Been following this thread. Did you or her flirt with anyone else?

[SethSLC]

So you were pretty cool to her? Treated her like a buddy and such? Been following this thread. Did you or her flirt with anyone else?

 

Ya we were like best friends again (we were each others closest friend for 6 years). It went pretty well right up until the time to part and she went from being sweet and friendly to icey. I shrugged it off and went on my way and haven't seen or spoken to her since.

[CMS]

Ya we were like best friends again (we were each others closest friend for 6 years). It went pretty well right up until the time to part and she went from being sweet and friendly to icey. I shrugged it off and went on my way and haven't seen or spoken to her since.

 

Good, you handled that goodbye well, remember never show weakness in front of her right now, convey that you really dont care that she is switching between cold and warm on a whim, show her that you know what your reality is and you are not affected by her rampant mood swing. Good work brother

[Romi]

Hey Seth!

So how are you?

I been reading this whole thread and wanted to know how things are.

Kiss,

[SethSLC]

I'm well

 

Not much to report. Nothing changed so I gave up being a back burner boy and haven't talked to her even at work in a few weeks now. Basically gave up as I am coming around towards realizing that she probably wasn't who I was supposed to be with.

 

How are you??

[Romi]

GOOD FOR YOU!

It's been too long since you been fighting for this girl and honesty she doesn’t deserves that. I don’t like her.

I think she’s immature (the some guy just told me he loves me comment was sooooo immature!) and you deserve better!

I think it’s time for you to start looking outside your group, new girls, new people, and maybe a new job where you don’t have to be around her all the time!

I’m so glad to hear that your taking real distance. That will make you stonger in time and let you move on and LET HER GO.

 

For me, time keeps showing that breaking up with my ex was the best decision I could ever made.

Now I can see clearly that my life was just not right and for me to keep trying to have a relationship wit this guy was so wrong.

I have a new guy in my life for 7 months now and I can see I’m relax, just enjoying this new relationship without any pressure and I think that’s what’s going to happen to you if you come out from this circle that you been into in the last 6 months or so.

 

Just my 2 cents

 

Hugs

[SethSLC]

I take your words to heart you know that. I'll do my best to follow them closely.

 

I'm proud of you and how far you've come, and I'm so happy for you as well. I hope things continue to get better and better with your new guy